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It is disrespectful enough to just drop by someone's home; but, to have a key and waltz right in whenever you feel like it? Helz no! No respect for a person's privacy. Accept the fact that you've flown the nest and get an adult life.

Too many keys floating around. Change the locks.
 

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It is disrespectful enough to just drop by someone's home; but, to have a key and waltz right in whenever you feel like it? Helz no! No respect for a person's privacy. Accept the fact that you've flown the nest and get an adult life.

Too many keys floating around. Change the locks.
Why would it be disrespectful? If they're been told and authorized to come without notification and were given keys to do just that? Tell me why? Remember different strokes for different folks. In my house the day my daughters fly the coop they will have a key to the house (they already have one anyways), and they will be able to come and go as needed. There will be no need to call ahead, they are my children. You see, I will not see any disrespect.
 

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Why would it be disrespectful? If they're been told and authorized to come without notification and were given keys to do just that? Tell me why? Remember different strokes for different folks. In my house the day my daughters fly the coop they will have a key to the house (they already have one anyways), and they will be able to come and go as needed. There will be no need to call ahead, they are my children. You see, I will not see any disrespect.
Perhaps, this quote from a different thread of his will shed some light on why it isn't a good idea to have an open door policy for grown children:
Yes I did, because he likes to smoke and get high. He likes to hang out at all hours of the night with his thug hoodlum friends then wants to come in at all hours of the night. He doesn't like to work thus he won't have any money to help financially around the house. He and his mom are constantly at each other's throats. He took his daughter to one of his friend's kid's birthday party a few weeks ago and my wife and I had to literally go pick her up at 10 PM because he didn't think that a 4 year old needed a curfew. Typically his friend's kid's b-day parties usually end up in that being an adult party where drinking and smoking is going on. Again, we had to go pick her up at 10 PM and he was mad about that. So yes, when the idea of him moving back home came up, yes, I vetoed that idea.
Kids who know they will always have access to a roof over their heads, alleviates the need for said kid to ensure they provide their own. It stunts their growth.

We won't talk about security measures because I'm sure your darlings would never steal from you or give the key to someone else or have it stolen from them.
 

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Why would it be disrespectful? If they're been told and authorized to come without notification and were given keys to do just that? Tell me why? Remember different strokes for different folks. In my house the day my daughters fly the coop they will have a key to the house (they already have one anyways), and they will be able to come and go as needed. There will be no need to call ahead, they are my children. You see, I will not see any disrespect.
My children come and go as they like as well. Even their spouses do. 😂
 

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Perhaps, this quote from a different thread of his will shed some light on why it isn't a good idea to have an open door policy for grown children:

Kids who know they will always have access to a roof over their heads, alleviates the need for said kid to ensure they provide their own. It stunts their growth.

We won't talk about security measures because I'm sure your darlings would never steal from you or give the key to someone else or have it stolen from them.
my darlings, as you said, have had the keys since they were twelve. My oldest at this point in time is already very successful, while still finishing her master. Financially, she already have more money than any of her group peers. I will never have the need for my children to steal from me, quite the contrary, when i get way too old, I'm the one who might need them. They are already making plans along with myself for if and when that eventually might happen. They are completely independent financially, but are still at home because, at this point in their life they have not need to fly the coop, once they do, they will, both of then are already set up for it. My younger , a little less so, but almost there.

Having a key to house and being able to come whenever they need to, does not translate to them not being able to take care of themselves. You are confusing underdevelopment of progeny, with the simple act of them as one's children having a key to the house. One have nothing to do with the other.
 

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It is disrespectful enough to just drop by someone's home; but, to have a key and waltz right in whenever you feel like it? Helz no! No respect for a person's privacy. Accept the fact that you've flown the nest and get an adult life.

Too many keys floating around. Change the locks.
We've always had keys to our parents house, given to us by our parents lol. Mum actually said to me one day, that she wanted us to have keys because we might be out one day, driving past and need to use the bathroom, and if she wasn't there we couldn't get in without a key 😂 She was really worried!!

Mum lives 2 minutes drive from my house 🤦‍♀️
 

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Why would it be disrespectful? If they're been told and authorized to come without notification and were given keys to do just that? Tell me why? Remember different strokes for different folks. In my house the day my daughters fly the coop they will have a key to the house (they already have one anyways), and they will be able to come and go as needed. There will be no need to call ahead, they are my children. You see, I will not see any disrespect.
That is how my wife and I are with our kids. 2 have already left but the have access to come visit anytime, they have the combo to the lock , so can come anytime. But there’s a big difference. These are our kids. OPs are from different marriages.

Blended families are tough even after the kids leave. I know we have some successful blended families but It really is hard to pull off the Brady bunch.
 

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That is how my wife and I are with our kids. 2 have already left but the have access to come visit anytime, they have the combo to the lock , so can come anytime. But there’s a big difference. These are our kids. OPs are from different marriages.

Blended families are tough even after the kids leave. I know we have some successful blended families but It really is hard to pull off the Brady bunch.
I agree.

But there's this, too. If my mom worked from home, and it was a weekday, I wouldn't just come over during the workday and bring my one month old to hang out for an extended time because my internet was out. It's having respect for another adult, working from home in their own home.
 

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I agree.

But there's this, too. If my mom worked from home, and it was a weekday, I wouldn't just come over during the workday and bring my one month old to hang out for an extended time because my internet was out. It's having respect for another adult, working from home in their own home.
Didn’t the daughter call first & ask to come over? She did not just show up
 

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What father wants to limit having his daughter bring his grandchild? If you’re not a parent, you just can’t understand the joy of seeing your grown kid come visit. Now throw in an infant grandchild and that desire grows exponentially.

Only a person who doesn’t truly love their partner, would object to these visits. When you get a new spouse, who has kids, they are all part of the package. If they’re not ready to accept the baggage, then they really should just live apart.

We recently had a thread from a woman that was in a new relationship with a man who’s kids were out their own but she had a12 year old from her prior marriage. The woman was upset because her boyfriend paused on whether or not he wanted to live with and her son.

See these are conversations to have before you move in together. In the beginning of a relationship, couples will say they accept your baggage but when the reality of what that really entails kicks in, the problems begin.
 

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Because I probably wouldn't want my own adult child and grandchild to come visit during the WORKDAY, as I was working from home, and was also juggling being in pain and all upcoming medical appointment that
day. Parents are allowed to have it be inconvenient for a visit from their adult children who no longer live there.

Heck my parents are in their 80s and I still respectfully ask them if they already have plans or something going on before I plan to visit them.
 

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Liv, I guess we see things differently. Our door is always open to our kids. I suspect that if this was their grandchild instead of just, the wife would not be taking such a hard line, which comes back to this being proof that trying to do the Brady Bunch is harder than most realize.
 

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Liv, I guess we see things differently. Our door is always open to our kids. I suspect that if this was their grandchild instead of just, the wife would not be taking such a hard line, which comes back to this being proof that trying to do the Brady Bunch is harder than most realize.
Yeah, I guess we disagree. As someone who has worked from home for the past year, I don't know anyone, no matter how close I am to them, who would be so disrespectful as to come over during the workday while I was trying to work from home without expressly asking me first if it would bother me or not.
 

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Discussion Starter #55
We've always had keys to our parents house, given to us by our parents lol. Mum actually said to me one day, that she wanted us to have keys because we might be out one day, driving past and need to use the bathroom, and if she wasn't there we couldn't get in without a key 😂 She was really worried!!

Mum lives 2 minutes drive from my house 🤦‍♀️
I've been away for a while tending to other things. But the reason me and my siblings still all have keys to our parent's house is simply because that's what we always have had. Our parent's are getting up in age and in case something happens to them like one of them is sick and falls then we can get in and tend to them. That's just how it's always been in my family. My wife, on the other hand, when she left her parent's home they took back their key. We go visit them and we have to stand outside and knock. To me, that's disrespectful. You were raised in this house but now have to knock to get in it. Our kids still have their keys and they know they don't need to knock when they come to visit. There have been tims when the wife and I were out and one of the kids needed to go by the house to pick up something and it was totally fine.
 

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Yes, she and I had a conversation that morning and she asked me if they could come over since their internet was out as I stated in the OP. She didn't just show up.
But was your WIFE involved in the conversation? The one who works from home in the house?
 

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That's just how it's always been in my family. ... My wife, on the other hand, when she left her parent's home they took back their key. We go visit them and we have to stand outside and knock. To me, that's disrespectful. You were raised in this house but now have to knock to get in it.
I'll try one more time, because it sounds like you still don't get it. Just because YOU were raised a certain way, doesn't mean your way is the right way. Your wife came from a completely different family dynamic. Okay, so to you it's disrespectful that you need to stand outside her parents house and knock in order to gain entrance. Fine, It's disrespectful to YOU. Seriously, you come across as very judgmental.
 

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The having to knock to gain entrance to a house in which you do not reside is disrespectful? Seriously? Why are you so entitled? Why are you so self-absorbed?
 

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I've been away for a while tending to other things. But the reason me and my siblings still all have keys to our parent's house is simply because that's what we always have had. Our parent's are getting up in age and in case something happens to them like one of them is sick and falls then we can get in and tend to them. That's just how it's always been in my family. My wife, on the other hand, when she left her parent's home they took back their key. We go visit them and we have to stand outside and knock. To me, that's disrespectful. You were raised in this house but now have to knock to get in it. Our kids still have their keys and they know they don't need to knock when they come to visit. There have been tims when the wife and I were out and one of the kids needed to go by the house to pick up something and it was totally fine.
I personally don't think its disrespectful to have to knock at the door if you visit your parents, everyone has a different way of doing things. I myself, when I know Mum's home will knock, I don't feel right just walking in, but Mum wouldn't care if I did. If I knew she was home and couldn't get a response I'd go in, to make sure she's ok.

There was one time I couldn't raise her, but I knew she was ok because I could hear her talking to the dog lol, so I went in but called out that it was only me. She said given the fact that the dog was doing zoomies up and down the hallway with her tail going a hundred miles an hour, she figured it was either me or one of my brothers 😂
 
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