Talk About Marriage banner

Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 4 of 4 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
5 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
When I first divorced I dated a lot but looking back I think I was looking for security as I was feeling very insecure and unfortunately met a few men that weren't really interested in me in the way of getting to really know me as a person or wanting to get into a real relationship. I am sure they could see the vulnerabilities in me at that time.

Now I've gone past that need to want find someone. It would be nice to find someone but I am now very reserved about putting myself out there. Afraid of never meeting someone really nice. I'd rather be on my own than be miserable. I wouldn't know where to go to meet someone. How hard is it to meet someone like minded?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
18 Posts
I guess that a question that we would all like to have answered, i find it very scary as even now when you find someone.....i think your judgement is altered so much after you've been hurt.

I really hope you do find what you are looking for, and if you do....can you post directions on here please
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
8,163 Posts
I try to encourage viewing dating as a process, almost like you're interviewing candidates for a job.

It's actually important to go on a few dates that you don't like, so that you start to formulate your 'qualifying candidate' criteria.

I've met a number of wonderful women, I no longer put constraints as far as the relationship goes. Some dates will be one and done. Some, we may date several times and it becomes apparent there is little chemistry. Others may become a casual, positive relationship. Others still may become intimate.

DO NOT fixate on meeting 'The One'. You are setting yourself up for a very, very, negative dating experience if that is your game plan.

Also, and I'm being completely serious ... you should dump a few people. Learn to be selfish. Your dating is about you, not somebody else. Go after, do, and importantly, don't do ... whatever you choose.

The dumping bit may sound harsh, but it is actually empowering and it helps you more clearly conceive of what you want from your partners. Odds are, you are going to be wrong more often than you are right. But ... being right makes all of the other effort worth it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
18 Posts
I'm not fixating on the one, but would very much like to spend some time with someone's company rather than being alone when the ex has my son.

I have blown a few guys out, so I guess thats good, either too pushing for sex or one guy had plans on moving in with me....not yet i don't think!!!

I still right now I have an issue with trust, never felt as tho i could trust anyone before i met the ex.....and as it turns out i couldn't trust him either. However I know i don't to be alone and unloved because it hurts too much.
 
1 - 4 of 4 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top