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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Quite a lot has changed recently since my very first post.

My wife and I finally had our talk and wow has it helped. It was unfortunate the way the talk started since it came about because of a couple of really heated arguments and a misunderstanding, but we got to talk and we now have a very real understanding of each other.

The biggest revelation is that the main reason my wife is not a very sexual person is that she has pain upon penetration when we have sex. It would get so bad sometimes that she would just wish it were all over and done with. She knows that I have been craving oral sex and I knew that she really didn't like to perform fellatio and that was brought up during our talk. During the talk we had, she said that she was sorry, but fellatio was just something that she could not do. I knew that she was genuinely sorry that she could not give me the one thing that I would like to have.

I decided that since we were finally being open and frank with each other that I would tell her how she could please me and what would work for me. I told her that I didn't have to have vaginal penetration for me to be satisfied. I said that she could use her hands to bring me to climax and that I would feel just as satisfied. Truth be known, an HJ would absolutely thrill me.

Long story short, we have made love on several occasions since then and we were both left extremely satisfied each and every time.

We have gone from sex once a month to sex once a week. So far we are both very happy.

The moral of the story is - in order to solve a problem between two people, those two people must communicate with each other. Or, the corny way to say it is: to have good intercourse, you must first have intercourse.
 

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has she been to the dr to see why sex is painfull?

sex shouldn't be painfull.

and eventualy handjobs will get old and you will want some varitey.

sounds like a good start but I wouldn"t stop there!
 

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Quite a lot has changed recently since my very first post.

My wife and I finally had our talk and wow has it helped. It was unfortunate the way the talk started since it came about because of a couple of really heated arguments and a misunderstanding, but we got to talk and we now have a very real understanding of each other.

The biggest revelation is that the main reason my wife is not a very sexual person is that she has pain upon penetration when we have sex. It would get so bad sometimes that she would just wish it were all over and done with. She knows that I have been craving oral sex and I knew that she really didn't like to perform fellatio and that was brought up during our talk. During the talk we had, she said that she was sorry, but fellatio was just something that she could not do. I knew that she was genuinely sorry that she could not give me the one thing that I would like to have.

I decided that since we were finally being open and frank with each other that I would tell her how she could please me and what would work for me. I told her that I didn't have to have vaginal penetration for me to be satisfied. I said that she could use her hands to bring me to climax and that I would feel just as satisfied. Truth be known, an HJ would absolutely thrill me.

Long story short, we have made love on several occasions since then and we were both left extremely satisfied each and every time.

We have gone from sex once a month to sex once a week. So far we are both very happy.

The moral of the story is - in order to solve a problem between two people, those two people must communicate with each other. Or, the corny way to say it is: to have good intercourse, you must first have intercourse.
True that.

For me, HJ's are great. When it's accompanied by other stimulation, it's even better (ie. fondling her, her giving me perennial/anal stim, etc. - I'd add HJ/BJ combo, but seeing as she won't do fellatio, that's obviously off the table) . However, if it's not accompanied by other stimulation, HJ's in and of themselves can only work for so long till you get bored of them.

Ask her to include other stimuli. Ask her to cup your testicles, or lightly pinch the skin of your scrotum and (very) lightly tug down. It's really nice.
 

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Pain is one thing but just outright refusal of another's needs because "I just don't wanna" is something a whole lot uglier. You know how it felt to be rejected for a month at a time. How unpleasant would something have to be to make you subject your wife to that feeling of rejection and loneliness every day, month by month, year by year? My heart would have to be a very dark, empty place to do that.
 

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You need to ask her why she has never brought up the pain before and why she has not sought medical help for it. Seems odd to have paid and just ignore it.
 

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I agree with others. She needs to see a doctor about the pain. That is obviously a problem.

During the talk we had, she said that she was sorry, but fellatio was just something that she could not do. I knew that she was genuinely sorry that she could not give me the one thing that I would like to have.
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Does she give you a reason why she will not perform oral? Do you give her oral?

As others have stated, HJ's are good. I love them myself. But they are going to get old after a while if they are the only item on the menu.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
To answer a few of the comments here.

She promised to go to the doctor and see what is going on with the pain. I may have to prod her some, but she will go eventually.

I agree that HJs all of the time could get boring, but she did say that when we do it doggie style, there is little or no pain and we have been unofficially rotating between HJ and DS.

We have also experimented with toys some also. She finds the vibrator uncomfortable, even the small g-spot type, but it is a start toward greater variety and fun with sex.

She didn't bring up the pain issue because she knows me and she knows that if vaginal penetration were the only option, then I would do without rather than cause her pain. I would make sure that she climaxed orally (yes she enjoys oral on herself). At the time she didn't realize that a handjob would be a more than acceptable alternative for me.
 

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Quite a lot has changed recently since my very first post.

My wife and I finally had our talk and wow has it helped. It was unfortunate the way the talk started since it came about because of a couple of really heated arguments and a misunderstanding, but we got to talk and we now have a very real understanding of each other.

The biggest revelation is that the main reason my wife is not a very sexual person is that she has pain upon penetration when we have sex. It would get so bad sometimes that she would just wish it were all over and done with. She knows that I have been craving oral sex and I knew that she really didn't like to perform fellatio and that was brought up during our talk. During the talk we had, she said that she was sorry, but fellatio was just something that she could not do. I knew that she was genuinely sorry that she could not give me the one thing that I would like to have.

I decided that since we were finally being open and frank with each other that I would tell her how she could please me and what would work for me. I told her that I didn't have to have vaginal penetration for me to be satisfied. I said that she could use her hands to bring me to climax and that I would feel just as satisfied. Truth be known, an HJ would absolutely thrill me.

Long story short, we have made love on several occasions since then and we were both left extremely satisfied each and every time.

We have gone from sex once a month to sex once a week. So far we are both very happy.

The moral of the story is - in order to solve a problem between two people, those two people must communicate with each other. Or, the corny way to say it is: to have good intercourse, you must first have intercourse.
She needs to go to her Dr. Sex should not be painful.. She could have endometriosis, this will cause sex to be very painful. I had this and sex was very painful for me. It is treatable! IT could be something else entirely, but this is what came to mind.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endometriosis
 

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As the reciepient of the flimsy excuse of the month award, I am thinking you may be runner up. I think your wifes excuses are BULL$HIT. :mad:

She is happy now because she has reduced her sexual output to the lowest level possible to shut you up....While you live in a "fools paradise"

You may not be getting PIV or a BJ but you are certainly geting $crewed...I hope you at least get kissed first.....

It won't be long before you start getting "No I don't wanna" again...She will probably come down with carpal tunnel....

In the mean time she is giving you the horse laugh behind your back :rofl:
 

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As the reciepient of the flimsy excuse of the month award, I am thinking you may be runner up. I think your wifes excuses are BULL$HIT. :mad:

She is happy now because she has reduced her sexual output to the lowest level possible to shut you up....While you live in a "fools paradise"

You may not be getting PIV or a BJ but you are certainly geting $crewed...I hope you at least get kissed first.....

It won't be long before you start getting "No I don't wanna" again...She will probably come down with carpal tunnel....

In the mean time she is giving you the horse laugh behind your back :rofl:
LOLROF:lol:

why don't you tell us how you really feel!!!!!!!

I kinda agree with you .
 

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As the reciepient of the flimsy excuse of the month award, I am thinking you may be runner up. I think your wifes excuses are BULL$HIT. :mad:

She is happy now because she has reduced her sexual output to the lowest level possible to shut you up....While you live in a "fools paradise"

You may not be getting PIV or a BJ but you are certainly geting $crewed...I hope you at least get kissed first.....

It won't be long before you start getting "No I don't wanna" again...She will probably come down with carpal tunnel....

In the mean time she is giving you the horse laugh behind your back :rofl:
I didn't see that JoeCamel was complaining. Different strokes for different folks. If he and the mrs are happy campers doing it their way, more power to 'em. Probably not the way I'd do it and clearly not the way you'd do it but sexual satisfaction comes in many forms.
 

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It seems that Woodchuck is being a little harsh at first, but I also got the same impression when I read the OP. I didnt want to piss on him while he seemed content and things are for the better for him ( at least he's dropping loads). But hs wife sounds like she's full of excuses and looking for sympathy.

The main point is that they had a serious sit down that worked for tem for the time being. Now round 2 should come and get her to go to the doctor or call her bluff. And she should reciprocate the oral, even if its not until competion.
 
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