Hi everyone, I thought that I would give an update to my story. As I mentioned in my last post, I finally discovered that it did go further then just kissing. It wasn't full blown sex, but just about everything you can do up to the sexual act itself. I have to admit that this really through me for a loop for about a day. However, I suddenly realized that, so what?…this was 20 years ago…the woman that I'm with right now, isn't the woman of 20 years ago…She's suffered for her indiscretion already…She's proven over these 20 years since, that she was and is committed to our relationship.
I now realize what a lot of people, on this board, already knew…I needed to move on past that past incident, which had already been addressed 20 years ago, NOT SWEPT UNDER THE RUG. I know that she was afraid of losing me, so she didn't want to tell me the full extent of the make out session. Having the benefit of growing with my wife over these years, I have to admit that I'm glad that she did not tell me the full extent back then. I would have ended the marriage and missed out on the life I've been lucky to have.
What really surprised me these past weeks, is how easily I was able to get passed the knowledge that it had gone as far as it did. Don't get me wrong, it really broke me down for a day or so, but, after looking at everything in totality, I realize that what I have now overrides this one indiscretion in time. Unlike the view of some on this board of my apparent misery , I've experienced great joy and happiness over these years. I allowed myself to question the past based on things that I've consistently read on this board related to discovering a kiss equaled sex. Although I feel confident that there wasn't sex, looking at the big picture, does it really matter….No!
Anyway, the wife and I are doing better than ever. I truly appreciate her more now then I did before this new discovery. I know there are many people on this board going through what I lived 20 years ago. It's difficult knowing if you're making the right decision to either reconcile or divorce. You're not sure if your spouse will just take the affair underground or have another affair later in the marriage. I have what most of you don't; I have the benefit of seeing my spouse in action over a 20 year period. I have the benefit of seeing how happy my life could be after infidelity. I see that people can make mistakes, and spend a life time becoming the spouse that their partner always thought they would be.
Thank you all for your support and advice. I only hope that which ever path your relationship eventually takes, that you will become stronger and have a successfully and fulfilling life afterwards.
20PlusYears