[bluemanceo]

I have been married for 3 years and I am turning 30 this year. When I was younger before I met my wife, getting laid use to be kind of easier for me. I had the process pretty much down. Obviously once I found my wife I kind of stop trying so hard. For years we had a steady healthy sex life. We both were attracted to each other and desired to have sex. In the past year or so I have either lost my touch or something in her has changed. For a year or so I had to relocate for work. She told me she was all for this even though it meant her moving away from her family for the first time in her life. While we were living there we had our first child. Then I started to notice her desire to move back closer to her family. I gave up my promising career to take a job back down south and get her close to her Dad. FYI-She is really close with her dad. Since moving here I can honestly say that sex is almost non-existant. I mean I understood the whole being tired thing when our daughter had just been born and even the lack of interest when she was depressed being away from family. Now it is bothering me though. Mostly when it is 8:30pm and she drops the line "man I am so tired". Which simply means, guess who isn't getting any tonight. Anyway, I have tried talking to her about this and she turns it around and says that I make her feel guilty. I have picked up the slack around the house, doing dishes, laundry, taking care of her pets and making sure I plan all kinds of stuff that we can do together as a family. I have tried simply asking her on a date just the two of us. Nothing seems to work.

Now if this were 8 years ago before I met her, I would just simply act like a jerk or show zero interest in her. This would work about 99% of the time. (Women please don't get mad it is the truth in my case). Anyway what can I do to get her to be more into me? I don't even care if we have sex a lot, but I really just want to feel wanted by her. Maybe a simple text, or a sensual kiss every once in awhile. Again, I have tried telling her this and she flips it around on me.

I honestly feel like the least important aspect of her life behind our Daughter, her family, her friends and her job.

Any advice is greatly appreciated!

 

[JCD]

Several posters swear by the Married Man's Sex Life Primer available on Amazon.

While I find some of his advice offensive, some of it has seemed to work on many guys in saving their marriages and sex lives.

Good luck.

 

[Chris Taylor]

So she says no to sex, and you "reward" her by doing more for her? Yet back before you were married, you distanced youself from your partner and they became more willing. See the problem?

I'm not saying you have to distance yourself. Try some other times other that 8:30 at night. Mornings, afternoons, etc...

If she still says no, ask her if sex is important in the marriage. If she says it is, then ask why she isn't interested. If she says no, tell her that she probably won't mind that you get your needs met elsewhere (not advocating that, just showing that she can't be hypocritical about it).

 

[JCD]

Hmm. Daddy is there to take care of her. She has a kid (no take backs), she's in her home town. Does she need you? Obviously not.

This is sort of common in women. Does she work? Financial security is also a precursor to divorce/infidelity/mistreatmnet.

Yes, you need to do the MAP.

Exercise.

Find a hobby and some (MALE) friends. Make it something manly like shooting or wrestling alligators. Habitat for Humanity teaches construction skills which a lot of women find sexy.

If she's a SAHM, drop ALL the housework. You are making a living. You gave her a kid. You are available for back rubs, sex and killing spiders. YOUR job is done.

She is reneging on HER duties...which include marital headboard thumping. The other end of 'forsaking all others' is 'putting out to each other.' You can't insist on a monopoly and then decide on not providing the product... Just saying.

Be emotionally distant from her. She's cutting you off. Tell her you want sex at X time and place. If she says no, shrug your shoulders, rub one out and get on with your day...which doesn't include her.

If she calls it 'sulking' and throws herself down saying "Take me and get this over with", I hope you know the answer to that. Pity and Chore sex is LESS fulfilling than masturbating.

Read the MMSLP