Does your husband like your business partner's soon to be ex-wife?
I am at 24 years too. I completely understand the “long game” approach. I am taking it as well. I have not updated my thread yet because it is still too early to determine where things are going, although based on last night, I like my chances. Our problem was (in its simplest form) a true lack of emotional connection, which led to a very terrible sex life (in a nut shell). I came here, like you, four years ago semi desperate - the only difference is I took everyone’s suggestions to heart and really acted on them.Why am I here on this site? To try and gain insight, advice, moral support etc.
Let's be honest here, if my marriage was in a good spot I wouldn't be here, which means for 24 years, through all the ups and downs, it never got to this point to where I was at a real loss for how to deal. That means, that I was content and happy for most of 24 years with some tough patches, but those were and seemed manageable and something we could work through.
For 24 years, I have been one of this man's most favorite people, needed, wanted, desired, complimented, given lavish gifts, a trusted business partner, encouraged and admired by him etc. Right now you are only getting one tiny view of him and our marriage, not the whole story. I wouldn't be trying to be patient if I didn't think I had something worth fighting for.
That's why I am here, on this site.
That's why I am not ready to snoop and may never snoop.
That's why I am not sure cheating is a deal breaker.
He may not care where you are because he is done with the marriage but too chicken to exit. Or he's having an affair so you are no longer the woman he's worried about someone else having sex with.I thought about this. But he said there was nothing I could do to "fix" what was wrong right now.
Is there a way to tell if my car has a tracking device on it? Since we quit location sharing on our phones and he said he didn't need to know my location, AND THIS IS REALLY opposite from who he normally is, I was wondering if he already has a tracker on the car.
Thank you, he's supposed to come home today. My daughter helped me cleaned his room and got him a new bed set (the washer is broken of all times) and we pampered his hamster with a clean cage and fun treats. The facility is making sure he's got appointments lined up with his therapist (who's been texting me) and his psychiatrist. I'm just scared that he won't follow the plan. He's almost 22, so I can't really force him to take his meds. I was told I would be given lots of instructions when we pick him up.Going to dinner with your husband is not following the 180.
I've been thinking about your son. I hope that doesn't sound weird. I'm a stranger on the internet. But I truly hope he is getting better each day. He is lucky to have such a great mother.
I'll go back and read your thread this weekend. I have a feeling I will have a lot of "alone" time.I am at 24 years too. I completely understand the “long game” approach. I am taking it as well. I have not updated my thread yet because it is still too early to determine where things are going, although based on last night, I like my chances. Our problem was (in its simplest form) a true lack of emotional connection, which led to a very terrible sex life (in a nut shell). I came here, like you, four years ago semi desperate - the only difference is I took everyone’s suggestions to heart and really acted on them.
One question I have — were you all swingers at an earlier stage? Don’t be surprised if he comes out as bi or something down the road is my hunch. Sounds like you are willing to have an open marriage too?
He may not care where you are because he is done with the marriage but too chicken to exit. Or he's having an affair so you are no longer the woman he's worried about someone else having sex with.
It's the old I love you but not in love with you. And there is nothing you can change because we don't usually know what makes us fall in love. Once someone is done and turned off that switch it can be hard for it to turn on again. Especially if there is someone else involved even if that is an emotional or hopeful involvement.
I had a voice yesterday morning. I asked him to fix the washer. Then I came back and asked him if he would look at something in our son's room, and his answer was "aren't you capable of making that decision on your own?" I stomped out of the room and said over my shoulder, "I'm perfectly capable of all sorts of things without your help." and he could tell I was fed up. Went upstairs and I was stewing, I was going to give him a piece of my mind, went back down to actually do it, and he had totally backed down and was helpful and nice. In the past, if one of us gets worked up, so does the other one... Soooo....that sort of took the wind out of my sails. However, I do feel that I am on the verge, close to the edge of letting some stuff OUT.Yep, and once you allow anyone to think for a minute they can disrespect you and have little or no consequences ...they tend to think you’re ok with that level of disrespect.
a better approach is to address the change and make sure he knows it’s unacceptable and must stop if you are expected to move forward in the marriage.
stand up for yourself and what’s right! Start having a voice and speaking your truth! It’s perfectly expected to say to him “the way you’ve been treating me has changed and I don’t like it a bit! And I expect you to treat me with kindness and love!” Then I’d add - “now what’s going on with you that caused you to be so grumpy to me?”
Good for you.Thursday morning I have an appointment with a well known local bulldog attorney.
If you want to know if there's a tracker in your car take it to the dealer service department and ask them to check the car for trackers.I care if he's tracking my car because how the hell can I be unpredictable and mysterious and vague if he knows exactly where I am all the time?
Also, we invited both.
Some men need the idea of someone, more or less, waiting in the wings in order to escape an unhappy marriage. It’s interesting he tried to avoid answering that question. He may not be cheating, yet, but that doesn’t mean he‘s not considering it. If he were not, the answer should have been an immediate “NO.” Trying to dodge the question says to me he has someone in mind. Hopefully, I’m wrong (I’d love to be).I think you may have hit the nail on the head. #1. Too chicken. or #2. There is at least an emotional or hopeful involvement. In one of our very brief and unsatisfying "talks" I reminded him that even though his first marriage had been on the rocks for quite some time, he didn't actually LEAVE until I came along, he had said that I gave him hope that he could be happy again. He tried to argue that fact, but I cut him off because he was trying to avoid answering my question "Are you interested in someone else." Now I wish I had let him continue talking.