Congratulations! I agree, it is scary and that is why many stay. I too left not having a job, no money saved to give me a start. Determination is amazing, we just have to be willing to move forward.
It can be done! *update*
To anyone who feels like they can't separate because of finances or is afraid to "lose everything". If there is will there is a way! This first year and a half since my separation has been so so so so tough. Mentally, emotionally, and financially. It is NOT easy so don't expect it to be! I had to live in a crappy yet absurdly expensive apartment. I was car-less. Had continous ex drama.
But BUT I finally closed, on my very own home! I have a car. My credit is good. A decent job. I even have a little savings! The divorce will be final Sept 11. And I 100% did it not having a dime to my own name after leaving my ex. But everything I have now is mine. Obtained by blood sweat and tears. And he has no claim to it. Heck, we are even beginning to co parent better!
It can be done y'all. It's super scary, and things get worse before they get better. But they do get better!
But BUT I finally closed, on my very own home! I have a car. My credit is good. A decent job. I even have a little savings! The divorce will be final Sept 11. And I 100% did it not having a dime to my own name after leaving my ex. But everything I have now is mine. Obtained by blood sweat and tears. And he has no claim to it. Heck, we are even beginning to co parent better!
It can be done y'all. It's super scary, and things get worse before they get better. But they do get better!
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When I went through my divorce having been married over 20 years and living in a state that awarded alimony to a spouse who did not have equal income my attorney (charged to a credit card) told me that men will hide their money and will ask for less financial obligations. They explained that women feel if we please them they will be nice and will make the transaction easier but that was not the case. They were so right. My ex did exactly what they warned me of.I had several legal aid help me with which documents to file etc but ultimately chose not to fight him because other than DS we had nothing to fight over. We rented so no house. I let him take the "family" car because he was stressing me out and using as a foothold in my life. He never worked so we had no savings since my job paid the bills. So nothing to split there. 20 years of marriage and we had accumulated nothing. It was like our marriage never existed. As far as child support. I have asked for less than I am owed and probably won't see a dime of it anyway. I left him for a reason, do I really think he will hold up his end? I just had to let that bull*** go and focus on what I could control and nothing I could not. i.e. him.
1 - 2 of 23 Posts
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