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Is this something or nothing...

1381 Views 6 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  tobio
Earlier today I was driving home from picking up my eldest from after-school club.

As we went round a corner one of the kids remarked, "look! I recognise that van!" It was my husband's van, going the completely opposite way to our house. He was due home in fifteen minutes and he hadn't mentioned having any errands to run so I thought he might be dropping by the shops to pick up something.

I called him when I got home to see where he was. Turned out he was going by the bank before it closed. Fair enough - I'd had a hard day with the kids and really needed a hand so just wanted to know he wasn't planning on being out and about for ages.

He got back not long after. Marched in the kitchen where I was making dinner. Asked what that phone call was about, in a harsh tone. I explained we'd seen him and I was wondering where he was going. "Why?" he said. "Don't you trust me?"

He marched out again and back in a second later. Threw a counter stub on the worktop. "There's the proof. Believe me now?" and walked off.

I was taken aback. Now, my hubz is pretty much a good mood guy. It is very rare he really gets irritated or annoyed that much, especially with me, in that way.

And FWIW, in my mind, I DO trust him actually. As much as I can do. Funnily enough, since his EA, the trust aspect rebuilt before other things. I don't worry about it. It never really gets mentioned because it's not a prominent issue .

He came in later and we had heated words. He was insistent I meant I didn't trust him with making that phone call. I was insistent that was not my motivation at all - I'd simply had a long hard day with the kids and wanted him home to have a hand.

He held out the olive branch so we're on better terms now but him blowing up like that just seemed so out of character for him. Out of the blue. I remember him saying something right before I found out he'd kissed the OW, asking me if I trusted him...

Maybe I'm reading too much into it but it's playing on my mind... Thoughts?
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Maybe he had a bad day as well. I don't see any big red flags in this, but others may.

That said, trust your gut. If something is off, check up on him without letting him know you are suspecting. As his spouse, and with his past, I wouldn't think twice about checking things out more carefully.

Good Luck
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