You need to read the MARRIED MAN SEX LIFE PRIMER. If you need to work on yourself this will definitely let you know.
What is your wife saying? Does she even want to stay married? Is shy trying hard, half assed, not at all?
You remaining in your situation causes emotional damage.
You need to get out of infidelity. You ought to start the divorce train rolling. See a lawyer, and have her served. What happens after that gets you out of infidelity. Either she wants to reconcile, and you withdraw the divorce, or she does not, and you divorce.
This is the quickest way out of infidelity. Remaining in the situation and hoping that some thing triggers her to make the change, or as you state, until you have exhausted your options,is a form of a 'pick me dance', which most WS find unattractive, and has very little success.
The quicker you start the D train, the quicker you find happiness one way or the other.