I will try to make this short as possible. We have been together for 6 years, no kids together, I have 1, he has 2, we all live together, and both our in our 30's.
Back in Jan. I busted him recieving nude pics from a girl, i recieved roses for that. About a month after, i did something i know i shouldn't have, and hacked into his facebook, but like i thought i found more dirt, him trying to hook up with a couple of women. I confront him, he apologizes, wont ever happen again blah blah. I forgive him, but don't forget. For the next several months i'm not myself, I don't trust him AT ALL!! So I ask a lot of questions on what he is doing, who he is txting etc. Which turns me into a nag and a ***** (what he says). And I will admit I did go a little over board, but I felt I had a right to question what he was doing.
So the end of July comes, he says I'm driving him nuts, he can't take it, and wants to separate. He leaves for 3 days. I'm a complete mess, I do what any women would do and leaned on my girlfriends for support. What I thought was a dear close girlfriend of mine for almost 10 yrs, came to my rescue, at least what I thought at the time. This is were my question comes: Is the following consider cheating?? In my H's eyes, no women has any right to be just friends with a man, cause he thinks every man that comes in contact with me wants to sleep with me. I disagree. My co worker (a man, happily married man) has been a wonderful friend to me for the past couple of yrs. The H has always disliked him, cause he is a man and we work together everyday. During these hard times in our relationship, I went to him with "man" questions, and advice on how I should approach all this from a "mans" point of view to save my family.
Which he has done the same with me when him and his wife were having issues. There has never ever been any kind of physical nor emotional connection between us, absolutley friends. I knew if I told the H his, he would beyond flip. So I entrusted what I thought was a good friend this info. Come to find out,, while i was telling her all this innocent info, she was inturn txting my H every single thing I was telling her.
Within an hour of H, finding out I went to a male that is my friend to get advice, he was back at our house, ready for war! He accused me of cheating on him for the past 2 yrs with him, and I had a emotional relationship with him. Which i truly believe is untrue. Am i wrong for thinking that way?!?
The H proceeds to tell me, what I did was a million times worse, then him getting nude pics, trying to hook up w/ chics on fb etc....
I beyond disagree, and so do my family and friends, but they obviously have bias opinions.
At a moment of emotional weakness, I vow to do anything to keep our family together, because I am truely inlove with my H, couldn't imagine life without him. Within a week, he tells me he is seeing another women. My world was crushed. I tell him I have no desire nor want to be with anyone else or even talk to anyone else. August & Sept. go by, he is never home, always out with women, or on his phone with women. I deal with it, some how, like an idiot.
Around the beginning of Oct., a couple of men i went to H.S with found out I was separated, and contacted me. At first i felt horrible quilty like i was doing something wrong. Even though the H was sleeping with half the town. It felt good, the positive attention, men giving me the time of day not making me feel like crap. I didn't have any kind of physical interaction with these 2 men, like I said positive attention.
So about a week ago, the H, found out about my male friends. Like clock work, I was told I am a dirty *****, skank, etc All they want is to get into my pants, they just want to use me etc.
So again in the H's eyes i'm pretty much a cheating *****. Regardless of what he is doing, cause he says I drove him to other women, because of what I call " the imaginery emotional relationship with my male co worker"
My brain tells me to RUN!!!!! My heart tells me not to give up on us or our family. The way I see it, is he is trying to turn everything on me so he can go have his fun, and me sitting here like a door mat waiting for him. He claims, he wants us to work, but he needs to trust me, seriously?!?!
So like a idiot again, I change my phone #, cut all my male friends off. Would love to hear everyones advice, feed back etc!
Thank you in advance