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Thank you very much, I cannot understand now why is the need of all of this? If you don't love somebody why don't you leave? Why the betrayal?
One, the other, or both, know that a full time relationship would/will not work.

Your wife is a cake eater, enjoying the bulk of the cake, the fulfilling marriage, and, also the sweet frosting, her side affair.

More often than not, one party wants to take the affair to the live-together stage, the other does not.

After 18 years, they are old friends, maybe old lovers. I suspect they are.

They have likely met up together a number of times during those 18 years.

At best, they broke it off for a few years, and they both got the itch again.

The other man's divorce and remarriage, likely unsettled your wife, and that put a temporary halt to their communications.

No, she does not like you, nor respect you.
I hope you realize that.
 

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One, the other, or both, know that a full time relationship would/will not work.

Your wife is a cake eater, enjoying the bulk of the cake, the fulfilling marriage, and, also the sweet frosting, her side affair.

More often than not, one party wants to take the affair to the live-together stage, the other does not.

After 18 years, they are old friends, maybe old lovers. I suspect they are.

They have likely met up together a number of times during those 18 years.

At best, they broke it off for a few years, and they both got the itch again.

The other man's divorce and remarriage, likely unsettled your wife, and that put a temporary halt to their communications.

No, she does not like you, nor respect you.
I hope you realize that.
If you followed some of the channels on Redit, better batchelor and strong succesful male, you will see just how common exactly this sort of crap is some of these spouses think they have a god given right to do what they want and destroy everyone around them in the process. I think many of them are Alien Hybrids with a human brain but know spirit or soul.
 

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If you followed some of the channels on Redit, better batchelor and strong succesful male, you will see just how common exactly this sort of crap is some of these spouses think they have a god given right to do what they want and destroy everyone around them in the process. I think many of them are Alien Hybrids with a human brain but know spirit or soul.
Rather than being aliens, I believe the majority of cheaters are personality disordered. BPD or NPD, there is a huge overlap between the Cluster B disorders. Lots of comorbidities.

These folks lie with aplomb with years of practlying and virtually no conscience. They are experienced gaslighters and manipulators. They can sleep like babies and function normally because they feel no guilt at all.

Might as well be aliens, evil, destructive aliens, their wiring is so, fundamentally different from a normal person's s.
 

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The man is registered under another name and communication continues. It's hard to say that the relationship is in the past. (she admitted to having sex.)

Full Confession or trying to look for evidence wears you out more, you don't know if there is another name confusion on the phone.

I think the main problem is your wife's attitude, she has been lying to you for years and does not take responsibility to put you at ease.
Divorce or stay should be your decision, I don't think your wife is reliable or loyal.
 

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She was cheating on you and judging by her response to your questions she still is.
You don’t say whether or not you have children but I know divorce is very easy in Romania if there’s no kids involved.
Maybe let your wife know this. Also consider if your wife’s boyfriend is married or in a marriage and let his partner know.
This
 

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Hello, at the early stages of our relationship 18 years ago my wife met a guy when she was at work. She kept telling me about him and I had some strange feelings about that and I always told her maybe she would stop talking with him, she many times said ok I will stop. 5 months ago I saw that she had him in her phone as a female contact, and I discovered some old emails where she sent him pics of her saying I'm thinking of you, kiss you.

She said there was love at first sight between them back then but she chose me. I’m very confuse right now as she doesn’t want to discuss about that saying I make a big deal out of nothing. She lied about the amount of the time they talked on the phone as I found out from the phone records. I’ve talked with both of them and they were very defensive and irritated. What to do know?

She says I cannot forgive, how should I forgive If I don’t have enough information or without her efforts to help me. She even said it’s already been 5 months since you discovered can you get over it already?

I’m confused right now, insecure…don’t know what to do. I think I don’t know the past and I’m afraid of the future. She doesn’t want us to get professional help she says it’s nothing and I feel her less close to me. I cannot say her anything., we only talk about general stuff and have sex.

Thank you
She is gaslighting you. Don't let her...

The fact that this man is currently in her phone...18 YEARS LATER...under a woman's name suggests that this WAS NOT, simply, 18 years ago.
 
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