You are being Gaslighted my friend she still has a relationship with him and every single thing she is doing is plainly saying she is cheating on you. This really is chapter 1 of the cheaters handbook.Hello, at the early stages of our relationship 18 years ago my wife met a guy when she was at work. She kept telling me about him and I had some strange feelings about that and I always told her maybe she would stop talking with him, she many times said ok I will stop. 5 months ago I saw that she had him in her phone as a female contact, and I discovered some old emails where she sent him pics of her saying I'm thinking of you, kiss you.
She said there was love at first sight between them back then but she chose me. I’m very confuse right now as she doesn’t want to discuss about that saying I make a big deal out of nothing. She lied about the amount of the time they talked on the phone as I found out from the phone records. I’ve talked with both of them and they were very defensive and irritated. What to do know?
She says I cannot forgive, how should I forgive If I don’t have enough information or without her efforts to help me. She even said it’s already been 5 months since you discovered can you get over it already?
I’m confused right now, insecure…don’t know what to do. I think I don’t know the past and I’m afraid of the future. She doesn’t want us to get professional help she says it’s nothing and I feel her less close to me. I cannot say her anything., we only talk about general stuff and have sex.
Yes but you don't do the things she is doing so many Red Flags here.HIDING the relationship is certainly suspect.
but i am not of the camp that declares "you can never have a friend of the opposite sex".
People who think that have never been in business, where you have to cultivate friendships and mentors all thru your career. A woman who never made a single opposite-sex friend in business would be going NOWHERE in the corporate structure. Talk about an impenetrable glass ceiling!
From what he is saying she was never committed to this marriage at anytime. He was just her fall back guy.I am sorry you find yourself in this situation. There clearly was an affair that may be still active. Also, it is clear your wife does not respect or love you. You need to take control of this. Tell her affair partners wife that your wife admitted to sleeping with him. Consult a lawyer to see what a divorce would look like. If you would seriously consider divorce, tell your wife that she has to convince you to stay in the marriage, and that starts with full honesty. If she doesn't do anything substantial, it will confirm that she has emotionally left the marriage already.
I concur 100%At the very least you wife had an emotional affair, that is why she hid the number. She also brought your kids around him. She has treated you and your marriage with no respect. She also has no real fear that you will do anything that is why she is not forthcoming with information. She thinks you are just going to put up with it.
You need to find your courage and be assertive. FIRST THING. Contact his wife, tell her everything you know, your wife had his number in her phone under a women's name, they have met up on dates with both kids along. Your wife told you it was love at first site. (DON'T TELL YOUR WIFE YOU ARE DOING THIS). See if she just somehow finds out.
Go see a divorce lawyer just so you know your rights. DNA test your kids.
When your wife starts to give you a bunch of crap, just like a the type of women with a secret boyfriend will do when you call them on their BS, call her out on it. Tell her you could do a lot better as she is liar and a phony and she better straighten up very quick because you are about 99% done.
Honestly as soon as she comes into you I would say - "stop, you better think very carefully what the next words out of your mouth are going to be, if it's not a straight up come to Jesus apology and how you going to fix yourself then don't even open your mouth." Then is she tried to give you some more ****, give her the papers and go stay in a hotel.
Go find a women who actually cares about you.
Action is what is needed, not passiveness. This is a bunch of crap she dumped on you time to call her on it.