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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My wife and i have been best friends since the age of 12. we havent had any other boyfriend or girlfriend. my wife hasnt even kissed any other guy, though through my teenage years i kissed a few girls.

we just went through our 7-year itch, and it really tested our resolve to stay together. we got over it but not without some permanent rifts. now in our 8th year of marriage, my wife and i hit 30, and her sexual drive has skyrocketed. it's always been more than mine, but now it's extreme. we have more of a best friend relationship than a romantic one, and she's wondering if she wants to spend her whole life with just her best friend without exploring any "romantically driven" one.

we love eachother like crazy...
that's the backstory.

the question is...what to do? our lease is up in 2 months and she has been entertaining the thought of getting separate apartments...

i think we have a bond that's rare, and believe there is nothing better out there...

any thoughts?
 

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If she wants separate apartments, then you two should be talking to a lawyer to sort out a divorce.

Sounds to me like because you are either unwilling or unable to satisfy her, she wants the option to be able to have her own space to have someone else satisfy it for her, away from you.
 

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I am going through a very tough time with my husband who is my soulmate.

I downloaded an ebook called "the magic of breaking up" it gives you help and advice on how to get through this difficult time.

I would suggest you respect her decision but you can try this book.

Best of luck.
 

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Why do you not want to have sex with her?
Do you feel any desire for her?
Do you find other women desirable?

How often do you have sex?

Personally I'd be very very unhappy living in a low sex marriage.
To me sex not only helps me feel connected to my husband it's also about the most fun I have. It's adult playtime. I love to feel sexy and desirable to my man. It's something to look forward to because it makes me feel so good mentally, emotionally and physically.

I can be great mates with many people... I love several of my best friends but the intimacy i get from sex with my husband makes our relationship different and special.
 

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the question is...what to do? our lease is up in 2 months and she has been entertaining the thought of getting separate apartments...

i think we have a bond that's rare, and believe there is nothing better out there...

any thoughts?
Yes, I have this thought: If you are seriously entertaining her suggestion, then I think that you are out of your mind. Additionally, what was hell was going through her mind by even suggesting it?
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Yes, I have this thought: If you are seriously entertaining her suggestion, then I think that you are out of your mind. Additionally, what was hell was going through her mind by even suggesting it?
hey - you cant just say that without elaborating! what do you mean?? why are we out of our minds?
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Sounds to me like because you are either unwilling or unable to satisfy her...
believe me, i'm a great lover. even if we do make love...once a week...it's to both our satisfaction, i make sure of it.

is once a week low? we're best friends! it's not like i want to tear her clothes off whenever i see her! we didnt marry solely for attraction, even though we find eachother attractive, she's not a sex-object for me.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Why do you not want to have sex with her?
Do you feel any desire for her?
Do you find other women desirable?

How often do you have sex?
Yes, i think she's beautiful...but often i do find other women more desirable if we're speaking strictly about physical attraction...

we make love once a week, usually. there are times though where a couple of weeks may go by...i'm ashamed to say i dont notice...she does.

but is that grounds to seek a separation? doesnt every relationship eventually lead to more of a friendship and companionship than just sex??
 

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Uhh OP... I'm with my best friend as well. I love the fact that he wants to tear my clothes off and ravage me. Him and I have 3 kids together and we have sex daily... once a week may not be low to you but apparently it is to your wife? Why not compromise by increasing frequency? There is no reason that I can see why best friends can't be sexually attractive to one another either...
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A relationship only dies out if you let it. One needs to put in time and effort to keep it working and make sure that flame never dies out.
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My wife and i have been best friends since the age of 12. we havent had any other boyfriend or girlfriend. my wife hasnt even kissed any other guy, though through my teenage years i kissed a few girls.

we just went through our 7-year itch, and it really tested our resolve to stay together. we got over it but not without some permanent rifts. now in our 8th year of marriage, my wife and i hit 30, and her sexual drive has skyrocketed. it's always been more than mine, but now it's extreme. we have more of a best friend relationship than a romantic one, and she's wondering if she wants to spend her whole life with just her best friend without exploring any "romantically driven" one.

we love eachother like crazy...
that's the backstory.

the question is...what to do? our lease is up in 2 months and she has been entertaining the thought of getting separate apartments...

i think we have a bond that's rare, and believe there is nothing better out there...

any thoughts?
Not again.....:(

I have to leave these forums, the male sex is disappearing in too much fat, too much sugar, too much Estrogen everyhwere. Everybody gets female in the end I guess. It must be in the water.

It's disgusting.
 

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* we love eachother like crazy...
that's the backstory.

the question is...what to do? our lease is up in 2 months and ** she has been entertaining the thought of getting separate apartments...

i think we have a bond that's rare, and believe there is nothing better out there...

any thoughts?

Lets look at your losing points please.
* It appears that this is not strickly true. YOU may love her like crazy but I do not see a W returning that if she thinks your her friend. Its not a romantic but platonic affection.

** It appears she has decided in her mind that there is no future other than a potential platonic one and I suspect where she gets her own place she will see more of her new romantic friend that you. I state this because she IS looking to try out her sexual curiosity and at present you appear not to be in that thought process and not meeting her needs there either. That is especially evident as she is literally checking the timelines between your sexual encounters. Therefore she wants the gaps filled.

*** The bond you have is rare?
I think the bond you have is rare in your mind not in hers. A husband and wife should be best friends that is part of the marridge process. But you are now likely to be demoted in to "just a friend " category.

In your position I would be (I'm sad to say) preparing not only for your contracted lease to end but your marridge. The tone of suggestion is that your W wants sexual adventure which by your own statements didnt really happen in the normal teenage water testing ages. Your W is looking for the sexual satisfaction that at the age of 30 in most relationships is running around peak.
Have you really considered making the effort to satisfy her sexually even when your not initially in the mood,
Have you spoken of the differing "needs" to your W, is there an issue your side which could be helped with some medical intervention. All these are suggested as assumptions from your initial post. But you really need to look into talking about sexual need (as previously suggested ) as your W is telling you whats wrong and how to put it right. However, Im certin as other might be that your W IS starting the seperation process by suggesting the differing living locations. This is to allow her freedom to move on to others.
 

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My wife and i have been best friends since the age of 12. we havent had any other boyfriend or girlfriend. my wife hasnt even kissed any other guy, though through my teenage years i kissed a few girls.

we just went through our 7-year itch, and it really tested our resolve to stay together. we got over it but not without some permanent rifts. now in our 8th year of marriage, my wife and i hit 30, and her sexual drive has skyrocketed. it's always been more than mine, but now it's extreme. we have more of a best friend relationship than a romantic one, and she's wondering if she wants to spend her whole life with just her best friend without exploring any "romantically driven" one.

we love eachother like crazy...
that's the backstory.

the question is...what to do? our lease is up in 2 months and she has been entertaining the thought of getting separate apartments...

i think we have a bond that's rare, and believe there is nothing better out there...

any thoughts?
Really? REALLY? REALLY?!?!

So let me get this straight.

My wife want's lots of sex.
She wants sex and romance and some hot naughty action
I don't want sex like that, I don't want much sex at all
She's thinking about separate apartments (so she can GET REAL SEX FINALLY)

Dude, coming from a "sensitive" guy, I'm telling you to MAN UP. Push on your stomach so your balls FINALLY descend. Go home and just TAKE your wife. She wants sex. GIVE IT TO HER. Find your own sexuality. Find your manhood.

She's telling you I want a man, not a girlfriend. Stop being her girlfriend. Be a man!

Sorry if this seems harsh but you're letting her slip away. Trust me, she's a lot further gone than you realize right now.
 

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My wife and i have been best friends since the age of 12. we havent had any other boyfriend or girlfriend. my wife hasnt even kissed any other guy....

we just went through our 7-year itch, and it really tested our resolve to stay together. we got over it but not without some permanent rifts.

now in our 8th year of marriage, my wife and i hit 30, and her sexual drive has skyrocketed. it's always been more than mine, but now it's extreme.

we have more of a best friend relationship than a romantic one...


any thoughts?
That's a bad combination, in my opinion.

I agree with a previous poster - She doesn't want a glorified roommate!

If you want to keep her... you MUST step up your game. Date her, romance her.
 
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Really? REALLY? REALLY?!?!

So let me get this straight.

My wife want's lots of sex.
She wants sex and romance and some hot naughty action
I don't want sex like that, I don't want much sex at all
She's thinking about separate apartments (so she can GET REAL SEX FINALLY)

Dude, coming from a "sensitive" guy, I'm telling you to MAN UP. Push on your stomach so your balls FINALLY descend. Go home and just TAKE your wife. She wants sex. GIVE IT TO HER. Find your own sexuality. Find your manhood.

She's telling you I want a man, not a girlfriend. Stop being her girlfriend. Be a man!

Sorry if this seems harsh but you're letting her slip away. Trust me, she's a lot further gone than you realize right now.
:smthumbup::smthumbup::smthumbup:
 

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Yes, i think she's beautiful...but often i do find other women more desirable if we're speaking strictly about physical attraction...

we make love once a week, usually. there are times though where a couple of weeks may go by...i'm ashamed to say i dont notice...she does.

but is that grounds to seek a separation? doesnt every relationship eventually lead to more of a friendship and companionship than just sex??
I've been with my H for 25 years...married 22. We have fun and fantastic sex about 3-4 times a weeks...sometimes more sometimes less. It doesn't matter to me the exact number...it's knowing he loves me and wants and desires me that matters most.

To go weeks on end and H not even be bothered would do my head in.

No other friend can take his role as my lover...

Unless i get my own apartment of course...then I might meet some other lovely man who will want and desire me.

Is this what you want in YOUR marriage?

She telling you she wants more sex/affection and your huffing and puffing about... is it really such a bother to be loving to your wife?

I'd say let her move out if that's what shes asking for, so she can get her needs met by someone else...someone willing!

Sometimes life doesn't go how we planned... the new path isn't a bad one necessarily...just different than the one we had planned to travel on.
 
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