I think I already know the answer, but let me *try* to briefly explain everything about the destruction of my marriage here and then in subsequent posts explain where I am now and get some advice from the forum.
My wife and I are in our 30's. We have no children. We have been married for more than 2 years and together for more than 4. We do not have significant financial or health problems.
Wife left me in early September after months of frigidity. We had plenty of arguments but the real problem was the escalation of small arguments into indictments on our relationship. I was responsible for much more of the escalation, although my wife was responsible for starting an equal amount of the fights. The fights would generally relate to control. Both of us wanted more control over the direction of our marital life (where we were going, who we were going with, what we would be doing, house decisions, etc.). I know now that I had lost control of my professional and family life which contributed to my unhappiness. My wife hates my parents, which was initially mostly their fault and now is equally hers. She blames me for taking their side more and they blame me for taking her side more. The truth is I have taken her side on virtually every issue, although I succumbed to some parental pressure.
We are both extraordinarily stubborn and well-educated leading to battles ranging from the mundane to the important. During at least one of these arguments I expressed that I wish that we had never been married and I accused her of forcing me to marry her (she did apply a lot of pressure but that is fairly normal for single women in my experience).
My wife stopped having sex with me almost altogether and was always frowning, unhappy and drew no satisfaction from being with me. She told me she didn't know how she felt about me anymore. She began to stay out later and would not return until about midnight on some occasions. We would not spend weekends together. I realized that we were on the verge of collapse and for about a month did everything I could to show I was making a 180 but was less than successful. One day I was so upset that I suggested that if she couldn't turn things around that we should separate. I did not really want this. A week or so later she told me she was leaving, packed her things and left.
My wife and I are in our 30's. We have no children. We have been married for more than 2 years and together for more than 4. We do not have significant financial or health problems.
Wife left me in early September after months of frigidity. We had plenty of arguments but the real problem was the escalation of small arguments into indictments on our relationship. I was responsible for much more of the escalation, although my wife was responsible for starting an equal amount of the fights. The fights would generally relate to control. Both of us wanted more control over the direction of our marital life (where we were going, who we were going with, what we would be doing, house decisions, etc.). I know now that I had lost control of my professional and family life which contributed to my unhappiness. My wife hates my parents, which was initially mostly their fault and now is equally hers. She blames me for taking their side more and they blame me for taking her side more. The truth is I have taken her side on virtually every issue, although I succumbed to some parental pressure.
We are both extraordinarily stubborn and well-educated leading to battles ranging from the mundane to the important. During at least one of these arguments I expressed that I wish that we had never been married and I accused her of forcing me to marry her (she did apply a lot of pressure but that is fairly normal for single women in my experience).
My wife stopped having sex with me almost altogether and was always frowning, unhappy and drew no satisfaction from being with me. She told me she didn't know how she felt about me anymore. She began to stay out later and would not return until about midnight on some occasions. We would not spend weekends together. I realized that we were on the verge of collapse and for about a month did everything I could to show I was making a 180 but was less than successful. One day I was so upset that I suggested that if she couldn't turn things around that we should separate. I did not really want this. A week or so later she told me she was leaving, packed her things and left.