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2 Posts
I apologize in advance for this lengthy thread, but i needed a place to vent my thoughts. Im thankful to have found this website.
Here is my situation:
I grew up in a home where affection didnt come around very often or on a daily basis. A hug here and there was pretty normal in my household. With that said, im not an affectionate person what so ever. I have dated my husband for over 4 years and we have been married now for a little over 2 years. He has known this about me from the very start that im not affectionate. Now that we are married he "thought" that our new title would change the way i am towards being affectionate. That hasnt been the case what so ever. I still dont care to be affectionate, it makes me feel uncumffy.
I sometimes try to make a mental note to touch him from time to time (a hug or kiss) to make him happy but overall it makes me unhappy/uncumffy. The attempts i make never seem to be enough. He always wants "more", as he often tells me "i expect to be smotherd by you". He will take it upon himself to show me affection in order to get some type of physical touch. In my opinion its way too much. A few examples: If im watching tv/movies, he will sit next to me and rest his hand on my leg, hand, or back and caress. If im sitting at my computer browsing, he will walk by to hug and kiss my forehead (every 10-15 mins). By this point im annoyed by all the affection. I cant go anywhere in our home without him "touching" me in some way. I do love my husband but i think that he goes overboard with the affection and i would like for him to tone it down. As he would like for me to tone it up in that area. He often gets offended when i move away or tell him not to touch me. I dont mean to be rude, but he always takes it personally. Its not that i dont want to be affectionate/touched. Just not all the time because its not what im used to, as he knows this.
Is there a such thing as too much affection? Should there be limitations? Should my spouse smother with me affection? Should there be a compromise as to how much affection should be given so that both parties will be happy?
Thanks.
Here is my situation:
I grew up in a home where affection didnt come around very often or on a daily basis. A hug here and there was pretty normal in my household. With that said, im not an affectionate person what so ever. I have dated my husband for over 4 years and we have been married now for a little over 2 years. He has known this about me from the very start that im not affectionate. Now that we are married he "thought" that our new title would change the way i am towards being affectionate. That hasnt been the case what so ever. I still dont care to be affectionate, it makes me feel uncumffy.
I sometimes try to make a mental note to touch him from time to time (a hug or kiss) to make him happy but overall it makes me unhappy/uncumffy. The attempts i make never seem to be enough. He always wants "more", as he often tells me "i expect to be smotherd by you". He will take it upon himself to show me affection in order to get some type of physical touch. In my opinion its way too much. A few examples: If im watching tv/movies, he will sit next to me and rest his hand on my leg, hand, or back and caress. If im sitting at my computer browsing, he will walk by to hug and kiss my forehead (every 10-15 mins). By this point im annoyed by all the affection. I cant go anywhere in our home without him "touching" me in some way. I do love my husband but i think that he goes overboard with the affection and i would like for him to tone it down. As he would like for me to tone it up in that area. He often gets offended when i move away or tell him not to touch me. I dont mean to be rude, but he always takes it personally. Its not that i dont want to be affectionate/touched. Just not all the time because its not what im used to, as he knows this.
Is there a such thing as too much affection? Should there be limitations? Should my spouse smother with me affection? Should there be a compromise as to how much affection should be given so that both parties will be happy?
Thanks.