Is there a point????

As the topic suggests,I wanted to ask is there a point in knowing details of what actually is the reason the STBXH started asking for a divorce so vehemently????My marraige ahs been roller coaster all around???Had always been a doormat kind of person,low self-esteem and waiting for him all the time(years of separation in btw) ,false reconciliation then again demand for devorce from his side;;;;

I did not have the energy to now why he is again adamant in leaving me,whetehr it is just our quarrels or he is actually after some woman;;was so weak,I could not take it anymore;;;;;After 2 months of begging,said yes to the divorce;;Am not crying,not weeping anymore;;;

Sometimes I get violently angry and feel used(11 years wasted ,met him when I was 18);;;;
But I feel no emotion at all;;;I want to be peaceful adn satrt a frsh life;;;Have no esire of finding anybody again;;;;have just become so disinterested in everything;;;;;

Do not want to see him again for the final divorce hearing;;;;
I fear that though Ihave followed the actual 180 .Want no reconciliation,am bent to start a fresh life, but still I find an emptiness inside me;;;;;I am actually so surprised to see that I am so strong and not the crying baby I was earlier;;;I did no know I had this in me;;;;Its difficult sometime sthough and I feel the tough appearance is just a false phase and I will break down;;;Then I force myself not to think negative nad pull myself to start a happy ,healthy life again.....

Anyone felt the same like this????