Ok, so I'm a 29 year old woman, attractive and with a healthy sexual appetite. Hubby is an attractive 31 year old with little to no sexual appetite. We've been together for 12 years (high school sweethearts). Obviously the first 6 years were awesome! Sex all the time, lots of affection, compliments and attention from him. After that, it's been dwindling to non existent. I would like to have sex everyday. But, am willing to settle for 3 times a week. He would like it maybe 1-2 times a month. He treats me like his buddy, calling me "bro" and "dude", punching my arm (love tap), wrestling with me (totally non sexual), making jokes about me (like guys do, make fun etc) and no romance or showing of love at all. I have to admit that I've stopped inititiating sex because 99% of the time I was rejected. With the non existing compliments, sweet talking, wooing, affection, not treating me like a "woman" and lack of sex, my self esteem has taken a dive. So the rejection just wrecks me. I know in my mind that I am attractive, above average. Guys still hit on me. But, just thinking that he's not attracted to me kills me. I've asked him and begged him to just tell me what is going on, he's says that it's not me. I am 99% positive he is not cheating. I've checked his phone a few times and he looks at porn and I've caught him a few times. That sets me over the edge because if we had a healthy sex life, he was giving me compliments and attention I would NOT care if he got himself off. Honestly. I used to love watching it with him! But he's just so distant in the intimate aspect. We are best friends so our relationship outside of the intimacy is great. We have 5 kids so I should really be the one giving the "I have a headache" or "I'm too tired" excuse and I'm ALWAYS rearing to go! He's very missionary type unless I get him tipsy. When he initiates sex, I'm instantly ready and he just lays down and lets me do all the work. I love to give him oral, he does not like to return the favor. He says that his breath stinks and he can't stand smelling his own breath down there. He swears that it's not me. I just feel like I'm giving 125% in this relationship and he's just getting by with about 25%. I've tried being super nice, talking to him in a humorous way, talking to him in a serious way, accommodating him totally so he's not tired, being cold with him, holding out (which he doesn't even notice) and breaking down and freaking out which I just did 2 nights ago. Something has to change. I'm so unhappy.