Talk About Marriage banner
Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 20 of 28 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
406 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I suggested this to my husband, knowing he wanted to have sex more often, and his reaction was negative.

I realize it takes away from the 'spontaneity' but I just thought it would help me if I knew that morning to shave closely in the shower, not stay late at work, that sort of thing.

Thoughts?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,076 Posts
If both are you are so busy then I would say no. I think if you change the wording around a little you can get the same results. Instead of saying on Sat at 9 we will have sex. Send flirty texts all day. Things like that work, that we are desired and not scheduled.
Posted via Mobile Device
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,636 Posts
I suggested this to my husband, knowing he wanted to have sex more often, and his reaction was negative.

I realize it takes away from the 'spontaneity' but I just thought it would help me if I knew that morning to shave closely in the shower, not stay late at work, that sort of thing.

Thoughts?
Never scheduled a particular day of the week, but we have scheduled when I started to initiate and she was not into, so we agreed that to connect on the next day. That was never a turn-off for me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,036 Posts
I hate it when my wife tells me, we will have sex later after her tv show or when she's off the phone, laptop, etc. She likes to know the time, day.

I love to be random, spontaneous, no time, no day, could be in the middle of the night when I'm totally asleep, anywhere, anyplace, making it fun, not boring and predictable.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
260 Posts
It's about being intentional. If it is treated like a chore or obligation, then yeah... It is a turn off.

If it is scheduled as a way to make the magic happen, then for me and a lot of other married couples I bet... it would be great thing!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
845 Posts
My husbnad would not like scheduled at all either, It usually has to be totally spontaneous for him. He likes to catch me by suprise and interupt what i'm doing. Once we were biulding a fence, He went to the shed to look for some tools "though I thought" then called me in to help him find something, which was just to get me into the shed cause he wanted to have sex in the shed. Another time we were moving and he said he needed help packing our bathroom. He called me into the bathroom and asked what my vibrator was, so then we had sex in the bathroom
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11,827 Posts
I would suggest you schedule a date night regularly. It might or might not turn into more, but the date itself is really what you need.

My wife is only capable of scheduled sex due to her childhood stuff. I understand why we are on a schedule and I think the schedule is good from the standpoint of taking away excuses. Oh, there's a cool old movie on tv! Sorry, record it to watch some other time.

The bad part is the schedule is the only time it ever happens. Never on a Tuesday, never when there is a surprise afternoon we're both home and the kids are all away. If your husband thinks the only time he's going to get sex is when it is on the schedule he might start to think he is just one more obligation you are ticking off your list.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
16,572 Posts
Not really a turn-off per se, more especially if the two of you have diverse work schedules, but I totally agree that flirty texts sent to each other would definitely add to things later!
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
262 Posts
I suggested this to my husband, knowing he wanted to have sex more often, and his reaction was negative.

I realize it takes away from the 'spontaneity' but I just thought it would help me if I knew that morning to shave closely in the shower, not stay late at work, that sort of thing.

Thoughts?
Hmmm...This wouldn't bother me in the least.If my wife says sex on Mondays,Wednesdays,and Saturdays at 9:00,then so be it.Did your husband give an explanation as to why he didn't like the idea?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,015 Posts
it can also cause problems if it's expected on a certain schedule and you say no.
This is what I was thinking. If you're trying to schedule sex to ka esure your husband is being satisfied, I applaud you. You must, however make sure to have a high fulfillment rate. If you "promise" sex on a certain date and time and then get tired/busy/etc. it is likely to have a very negative effect.

Otherwise, I see no real problem with the practice. In fact, I would see it as a very encouraging effort that my wife was making to meet my needs.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
294 Posts
We always schedule sex. Usually at night around 1am when the kid is asleep. I believe scheduling is very important to prevent unrealistic expectations.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,407 Posts
Prove him wrong. Schedule it and show up enthusiastic - so much so that he'll wish you'd penciled him in years ago.
 
  • Like
Reactions: SunnyT

·
Administrator
Joined
·
45,105 Posts
Scheduling sex is the same as making a date. When people are single they have no problem with making dates and the sex is usually hot.

Works in marriage as well.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
360 Posts
I say you can schedule,but do not just have sex on the scheduled days only[Suprise him] on off scheduled days.Like another poster said if you do schedule it make sure it happens even if you are tired or else he will be upset.,it could even just be a bj/hj nice ans senual.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,235 Posts
Also.... make it special. Since you take the time to schedule it, then make it to his benefit (well, yours too) by turning off phones, lighting candles, a bubble bath together, a picnic on the frontroom floor, sensuous food, .... whatever floats your boat.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
299 Posts
Scheduling sex is the same as making a date. When people are single they have no problem with making dates and the sex is usually hot.

Works in marriage as well.
I agree.

When you're dating, and maybe you haven't seen each other in a few days, there's usually no question that you'll be having sex.

Why the big change?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,335 Posts
Let's see. Which is more of a turn on? Checking an item off the to do list? Or being married to a woman who actually desires me? I'll think about it and get back to you.
 
1 - 20 of 28 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top