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Is this a hill you want to die on? I wouldn't. Remember, one day you may need them to wipe your derrière. I wouldn't poison the relationship over bad manners. There are many more important things in the world.

Maybe you and your wife can compromise. Send them cards without money, but just before Christmas, send another one with the check. "Oh, I forgot your check!" It will give them pause. Or maybe not. It's "only" $50.
 
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