[BurntEnds]

Hi, new member here.....concerned about a conversation I had with my wife last night so I am coming here for feedback.
So my wife and I have been happily married for about 15 years. We have 2 kids and we have a trusting relationship with little to no bumps, just the usual nitpicky stuff here and there but nothing major. Neither of us has ever cheated on each other, however, for the majority of our marriage, we have always expressed our fantasies with one another when getting intimate. The most common fantasies have been the two of us with another man joining in (typically my fantasy) or her and another man with me in the same room watching (all her fantasy). Through the years, this has been our typical "dirty talk" and we have always discussed that it's just that and nothing more. She usually brings up, "I'm a mother and I would just feel immense shame afterwards" so there is a track record of this just being dirty talk.
My wife goes out with her girlfriends every now and then, maybe twice a month and usually to a karaoke bar or a brewhouse. I on the other hand generally stay home with the kids and just keep to myself, I don't really have any friends and really just keep my free time confined to my family.
Anyways, about 2 weeks ago, my wife went out with the girls and maybe had a little too much to drink as she was hungover the next day. Well last night, we were getting intimate and talking dirty. Lately she has been losing weight and started waxing "down there" and she has been feeling sexier and more confident which is something that she has always struggled with (i.e. low self esteem). Well, during our dirty talk, I asked her things like, "do you notice guys looking at you when you go out?" and she starts giggling and recounts that night 2 weeks ago and says that yes, men were looking at her that night and some even bought her drinks. During our foreplay, I tried to get more information out of her, while still in the guise of "fantasy mode" and she starts saying things like, "what would you let me do with other men?" I ask her "what do you want to do?" And she says "are you okay if I flirt with other men?" I say sure, and she asks if I am okay if a man buys her a drink and dances with her. Again, I say sure, just to gather more "now very real" information and I ask her "what else do you want to do?" To which she says "I want to kiss other men". At this point, I am alarmed, and I feel like I am much to blame given our ongoing fantasies, so after we are done being intimate, I ask her "how much of what we discussed was just fantasy?" We had a 2 hour conversation and she tells me essentially that she doesn't want to sleep with other men, that she just enjoys the confidence boost, the free drinks and likes to dance. We discuss kissing, to which I say "kissing on the mouth is basically where cheating starts". That basically caused her to sink into her shell because she knew that was the nail on the head for me. She then disagrees and says it depends on how it's done. I ask her for examples and she says a peck on the cheek as a "thanks for the dance/drink" is wholly different than a full fledged makeout session. I tell her, "would you be uncomfortable with me kissing another woman?" And she circles back to "if it's a little peck, I wouldn't care but if it was open mouth with tongue, then yeah I would be upset".
So basically after this long discussion, we establish that a guy buying her a drink, some dancing and flirting is "fine" but that kissing is where I see the start of being unfaithful. She says the attention she gets is what causes her to come home extra frisky and is why she always wants to jump my bones lately.
I never fell asleep, and I still have knots in my stomach just recounting the whole ordeal but really I'm just worried that this is now the beginning of a difficult to manage situation. I feel like she "has permission" to go further than she's gone before with "kissing" being the line in the sand, but I know that if it ever gets to that point, human nature is bound to throw caution to the wind and just deal with the ramifications later, especially when the types of men that are solely going to bars go to basically get laid.
I hope I can solicit some female responses as I feel her situation is relatable. Of course, all feedback is welcome.
-Troubled in Texas

 

[BurntEnds]

This kinda sounds like a cheesy erotica story?

I wish that was the case but it's my real life failure to maintain a once promising healthy marriage

 

[BurntEnds]

Welcome to TAM @BurntEnds I think based on your OP you know deep down where this is heading. I agree with what @Diana7 said in post #3 that this should not be going on and that the kiss I agree with her has already happened and she was just feeling you out. I hope that is all that has happened, but I am afraid that maybe more has happened. I hope I am wrong here is what I think based on what you have said she told you. She has progressed to dancing and drinks with a guy and then they sit together and kiss as she said open mouth and he gets a little handsy and she really likes it but she stops it before it goes any further. That's why she is coming home and jumping your bones, she is as others said feeling you out to how you feel about things and she is considering going further.

If she starts going out more often and not wanting to jump your bones when she comes in then you really need to worry. A couple of questions then a suggestion for you. These girlfriends she goes out with are they married? Is one a designated driver? Has the frequency of these GNO becoming more often or staying out longer. Do you all share each others cell phones or if she has started keeping her phone with her more using it more that could already be a red flag. Now for a few suggestions one if the phone thing is as I said above I would suggest checking it or your bill to see if their are any numbers you do not know. Next, if where they go is a large and crowed bar/club hire a sitter and after about 30 minutes to an hour go into to the club lay low and observe for yourself if spotted you could always say you were fulfilling a little of your own fantasy. I personally don't recommend the following to the club(just a suggestion).

Finally, here is what I would actually do if I was in your shoes. I would sit her down after kids are asleep and say after your discussion about feelings of real/fantasy you think this is not good. First I would ask her point blank if she has already kissed another guy (on the lips) more than once or more than one guy? I would think after being together for 15+ years you would know if she is telling you the truth. Then I would say that giving this more thought (even if she says she has not kissed or done anything with anyone and you believe her) this is not a good thing for your marriage and your family. That it was your understanding that on these GNO she was just going out with her girlfriends and having some drinks, them dancing together, and doing some karaoke. It now seems to be progressing to areas you are not comfortable with for you or your marriage. I would use the example of how she came home two weeks ago and say what if you get a more drunk than then and a good looking guy comes onto you hard. I would say that you are a guy and a guy in a bar/club who you let buy you drinks and dance with and even kiss is going to want and expect more than that. I would also say is the reason you ask me about how I felt about how far flirting should be allowed to go and what I thought was it because you a) want to do things with other men b) already have done some things with guys and due to you feeling guilty wanted to see how I felt about things or wanted to try and tell me a little of what has happened to see how I would react. You seriously need to sit her down before she plans another one and get this out or I am afraid you will be on here in a few months telling us she had a ONS with a guy from a bar she had to much to drink and was flirting and things just went to far and you will be crushed so you need to put a stop to this now. Let her know how you feel and if she really loves and cares about your marriage and family she will understand and agree. If she does not agree and tries to gaslight you and say you are being controlling and jealous then she probably has already been involved and wants to continue. I would as kind of a compromise suggest that you can hire a sitter and go to a club just you two and share it together. Best of luck! Please don't be a one post and done let us know how things are going. It really sounds like you have a good marriage and family, but I really feel you need to step up here be firm and tell her how you feel and get this stopped before it goes to far, because trust me it will continue to progress if you allow it.

This has been the most reasoned response so far. Thank you kindly for your feedback, I sincerely appreciate you. I will follow up as time progresses.

 

[BurntEnds]

Agreed. Also, what kind of women is she going out with. Be honest, because they are a reflection of your wife.

2 Married women, one in her 40s and one in her 20s

 

[BurntEnds]

That kind of surprises me I would have throught they were single. One other question does you wife work outside of the home or is she a SAHM? Do you know these women very well? Do they flirt or could either or both have a open marriage or their husband travel for work and are gone a lot, or has your wife mentioned anything about them having an affair or how they act when they are out together.

The two and my wife are all teachers. The oldest is also in a trusting marriage. The younger one has only been married for a month. My wife gives me free reign of her phone. I can snoop at my leisure.

 

[BurntEnds]

Thanks for the additional information @BurntEnds . I will admit it does not seem as bad as first thought after you providing more info and answering some questions. However, I still say you need to sit her down as soon as possible and let her know after giving your discussion some more thought that you are not comfortable how this is progressing and you really are not comfortable with anything other than your wife going out with her friends for some drinks and talks but nothing else. I still would ask if she has done anything that she hinted out the night you guys were being intimate.

I agree, my head is so heavy with despair at the moment but I am going to talk through it again tonight. We are very open and honest with one another but the only thing that heavies my heart is her reaction to the "kiss" talk. I do trust that she is not trying to cheat, naive as that may sound, I just feel like she is getting new found attention at the moment and is trying to navigate through it. Note that this is a recent phenomenon which is why I am so out of sorts but open communication is key and that's what I plan on doing. Will update you my friend and thanks again for your kindness and understanding

 

[BurntEnds]

One other question for you @BurntEnds are you and the 40 something teacher friend husband friends? If so in a casual conversation you could ask him what does his wife say about their GNO?

Unfortunately no, the older woman's husband and I don't know one another, I just have insight into their relationship based on what my wife says about them, but it seems like a well established and trusting marriage. Kids, house, family vacations, active in church, etc.

 

[BurntEnds]

I just joined this forum and the first post I saw was yours and I came here to post almost the same thing! Given the responses you got, I don't know if I want to post now.

I'm here if you want to talk @BurntEnds

I appreciate the words. I would like to know your situation. I'm not sure how that works on this forum but someone going through the same stresses would be of comfort

 

[BurntEnds]

I tried to privately message you, but because I've only just joined this forum I couldn't. I could say my peace about my wife, but I don't want to hijack your thread.

Understood. If you are able to eventually private message me, I would like to know more, thanks for reaching out

 

[BurntEnds]

What I would love to do and witness, is to listen to the ladies on TAM reading this, and digesting what is being said in this post and posts, even more 'salacious'.

How do they 'honestly' feel about flirting and roping in strange men?
Those one night stands, maybe, one hour lay-downs?

What is it, that they are really thinking when they hear of these things?

Do they feel disgusted?
Do they feel secretly stimulated?

Or, are they amazed at how some other people think and act?


Nemesis-

I agree, I would love a genuine female perspective. I would like to know their honest feelings when flirted with, bough a drink and invited for a dance versus their honest reactions to these 3 specific things.

 

[BurntEnds]

boundaries are everything.
If you want to play with fire, you need some fire retardant gloves, and maybe a fire extinguisher or two lying around.

If you want this Hotwife role play to expand into the real world, what ARE the boundaries?

Some hotwife boundaries i have heard of:

• can only date the same guy four times max (to keep from falling in love with him)
• no sex in your house. and ESPECIALLY no sex in your marital bed.
• some guys assist in picking out a stud for her. Some women want to do it 100% by themselves. need to figure that out.
• nobody at work (to keep her from getting fired)
• Sometimes the husband is involved (MFM), sometimes not, sometimes hubby is there but humiliated for his pleasure.

and so on.
there are actual hotwife forums online where you can chat with other guys in your situation. some have a female only part, where hotwives can talk to other prospective hotwives, and give advice.

Most people will warn you to NOT do this, since it means your marriage is over.
but it sounds like you are already most of the way there...so IF you are choosing to move forward, at least do it with both of your eyes open!

My boundary is "flirt, dance and have a drink" but it stops there. Anything further than that (i.e. - groping breasts, getting grabby, kissing, etc. is off limits). I'm comfortable with these boundaries so long as they are met (which is totally dependent on the honor system), I just don't know how human nature can get it from escalating, especially when booze is involved.

 

[BurntEnds]

As a woman on TAM and as a cheater and attention wh*re, I still only speak for myself here when I say that not all women are turned on by men grinding on them on the dance floor and whispering perverted things in their ears - whether that man is their husband or some hot guy in a club. I’d be so grossed out if my husband or any man did that to me because I just finding grinding sort of embarrassing and cringeworthy. It doesn’t get me going at all. So don’t generalize all women here, ok?

I do know that many women are turned on by that stuff though. It certainly sounds like it’s the stuff that gets OP’s wife going, so it’s a relevant point here. I agree that OP should try going out and doing these things with his wife instead of sitting at home in the sidelines. If you don’t know how then learn how.

I’ve actually always been turned on by hot dads. Even as a teenager I always had crushes on hot dads that I knew. So, I’d probably screw the hot dad who is babysitting his kid over the hot guy grinding at the club. Actually, when I did have an affair it was with a hot dad, not some guy I met at the club. Point is, if somebody doesn’t have strong boundaries and they fall into a situation where somebody who floats their boat and rings their bells presents themselves and is willing, eventually there’s a good chance that something will happen. In the case of OP’s wife, it probably would be with one of the hot guys at the club that she’s grinding on and kissing. I just hate when people want to generalize that all women want the kind of macho guy at the club rubbing his junk on her because it’s not what every single one of us into.

I agree, my wife has always been into nerdy, quiet types like myself. She doesn't go for that "toxic masculinity" stereotype

 

[BurntEnds]

I know you told me in answering my comments and questions you said you were going to have a serious talk with your wife last night I was just curious to how that went and if you either got these GNO stopped, or you and her go out together or you got some firm boundaries agreed on by both of you.

Hello, yes we did talk last night in depth. And the kissing was the first matter to tend to, so I asked and probed and I genuinely believe that she did not kiss any man or men with her lips and theirs. I do believe that she plopped a big wet smacker on a cheek as a thank you of sorts. I've known my wife long enough that I know when she isnt being up front. She typically is always up front, and when she's not, she dances around what she doesn't want to say, , I tell her "just tell me" and she does. She's not a liar. I on the other hand will lie from time to time, little things but intentional lies regardless (why didn't you pick up so and so at the grocery store? Oh, I thought I did, the cashier must've not sacked it, when in reality I just forgot). When I asked her if she's kissed anyone, I assured her that we could "come back from it" but to just be honest about it because this is a serious matter and honesty is the only way to get through. She took a deep breath and said "no, I haven't kissed anyone on the lips" and I said "show me then how you have" and she demonstrated , what I can only refer to as a "big ol' smooch" on the cheek. So I'm not concerned with a kiss, and truth be told I'm not worried that she has slept around. I did have my concerns that she had some kind of subconscious messaging due to our explicit fantasy talk that it would have my blessing if she did and I told her, "I feel like our sex talk has been sending you subconscious messages that I WANT you to cheat on me" and she told me "I've never taken that you want me to go out and find another guy. Is that what you think I've been wanting to do?" And I told her that I just feel that she thinks she has subconscious permission to sleep with other men. She went on about how we have a great structure with our family life and how she needs us both to be upfront with what we are feeling because she can't do this (family life) without me. She suggested to cut out the sex talk entirely, like to not even bring that kind of stuff up. I'll be honest, what I give her sexually at home "does the job". I'm not trying to sound like a stud because I am far from it but I do pleasure her 3 or 4 times every time we have a go at it. And sometimes we make passionate love with no dirty talk and other times we have raunchy heavy raw intimacy. Our sex life did have a lull many years ago but I occasionally take pills to help and it really has been super ever since. If I thought her to cheat, I would have thought it to be back then. I guess the thing that turns off a lot of people here is my comfort level with her having a drink bought for her, having a guy flirt with her or dancing with her. I know that's a lot for some to be okay with, but I've always had enough trust in her that she wouldn't let it get that far. I still do, but now that I had established the clear boundary of "kissing is cheating", she knows my limits. I guess the "kinky talk" is what has be more okay with that than others would permit. But we also don't have a "you can't even TALK" to the opposite sex when I'm not around type of relationship. She doesn't willingly intend to "go find a guy to dance with, flirt with and get drunk with", but it is happening more that she has been working on herself. In my younger days, the shoe was on the other foot and girls would talk to me and she would get very jealous. I just said "I'll never talk to another woman again when your not around" and its pretty much been that way ever since. I guess this is where I am after the talk.....I believe she still loves me and wants to make the marriage work. I believe she has not cheated on me. I believe she wants to make an effort to take my sensitivities into account and not trample on them. But I don't know that after "1 drink too many", that escalation can be avoided. I'm not going to tell her she can't go out with her friends, and as you know, her friends are also mothers with kids and families so i don't think she is around bad influences. She is going to play music bingo this Friday with the gals so I guess I'll just let time take it's course and gauge my trust level by then. Is she messes up, I know her "I messed up" body language all too well. There's no hiding that, it's impossible for her to. She genuinely is the most honest one in the relationship. I did tell her, "don't drink past your limit, I don't want you losing your inhibitions and feeling sick the day after" and I just have to place my trust and pray that's the case.

 

[BurntEnds]

Thanks for sharing your important talk with your wife last night @BurntEnds I think you did the right thing and made a good start. I hope you read the post above from @Robert22205 he made some very good points and raised some excellent questions that need to be verified I think as well.

One question I have after rereading your OP and the post of your talk last night. In your OP you said that she told you she really wanted to kiss other men. Did you ask her why she said that and also like one of the posters ask when she told/showed you she had kissed a guy on the check just curious did you follow up and ask her if it was only one kiss with the one guy or had she kissed other guys the same way. Also did you ask her what the guy did after she kissed him? To me that would be something I would want to know myself. Lastly, did you suggest about you two going out to a club/brew house together just the two of you.

I mean, the feedback I'm getting from the vast majority of the posts here seem to say "run for the hill, it's done for" but from our conversation, she made it to be like she wants to make changes to keep the marriage intact. She made the "let's eliminate the kinky talk", suggestion, she said she feels much better about the direction of our marriage now that I "cleared the air". She suggested I do things for myself. I was originally going to see new new 007 movie on Saturday by myself at the movie/brewhouse. She said "let's get a sitter and go together." She said, "why haven't we had conversations like these before?" I may be a fool but I wholeheartedly believe she respects what I am not willing to tolerate. My only concern is when too much alcohol happens, those boundaries are out the window. I got what I needed from the kiss talk.....lip to lip kissing to me means it may as well be over. Look, in my younger days, I would frequent bars while married to see live touring bands. I kept her awake aplenty while she wondered what kind of shenanigans I might get myself into. But I don't drink much at all, and I was never there to pursue other women. I was legitimately there to watch live music. Would girls occasionally look in my direction? Sure, but I never approached them. Would I talk to them on occasion when approached? Sure, sometimes a woman would just converse with me and I would talk for a little and that was that. Was "sex racing through my head"? Yeah, absolutely. I'm a red blooded male. But I respected her enough to know right from wrong. The issue here is too much alcohol. I'm comfortable with the boundaries regarding free drinks, dancing and flirting because if the shoe was on the other foot, I would want her to understand that I'm not totally going to shun myself from interaction. So long as it stays in my pants and as long as she keeps it in hers, I would want her to be okay with some playful flirting or a random dance with a random stranger too on my end because unfaithfulness isn't what is driving the behavior, "having a good time and feeling good about myself" is the driver. I do believe she is not all on on adultery but our years of sex talk was in retrospect a horrible idea because I'm sure when the looks started going her way, she was likely testing the waters to see where my stance is. I don't think I'm out of the woods, not by a longshot. 2 conversations is one thing, being drunk and trying to make sound decisions is another. HappilyMarried1, I respect your input, it is the most valuable to me in these comments. Please let me know what you think of this.

 

[BurntEnds]

Thanks for the kind words @BurntEnds i truly hope it helps the new info you provided is even better. I would still advise to read the post by Robert he raises some good questions that need to be discussed. I still think you are having an undo stress on your marriage. My point meaning if on these GNO she is flirting and dancing with different guys (which I hope is the case and not the same one) she had told you how she gets all worked up and come home and jump your bones. If you and her allow this to continue eventually there could be a perfect storm meaning a good looking alpha type guy a little too much to drink and he is a pro and says and does all the right thing and he takes a kiss on the check and returns with a kiss on the lips and one thing leads to another and something happens. When it does I truly believe she will feel awful afterwards very guilty and will call you crying or come home crying telling you how sorry she is that it just happened, she felt as though she wasn’t in her body etc truth is that is true but it won’t change what it will do to your marriage.

One last thing I think you need to talk about let her know you are fine with her going out with her girlfriends and having a good time but the dancing and flirting and especially the drink buying is very dangerous I don’t think you all realize how easy a guy could put a date rape drug in that bought drink and what could happen from that. Here is a suggestion if you guys still are both into this flirting and dancing thing do it together go out with each other or even go out together and go in separately and then have a little innocent fun (I don’t think this is good) myself) but for some this works and nothing dangerous or bad could happen. I hope this helps you need to continue to open up and talk but you really need to let her know the dangers of where this could lead. If this continues a man is going to expect more than a dance or a peck on the cheek. Best of luck! Keeps us updated.

I will keep updating as events occur. I get the feeling that my wife is at a crossroads in her life. The older the kids get, she gets really sad that they're not babies anymore and misses the motherhood aspect of raising little ones. She's wanted a third child and wrestles with that versus advancing her career in education. I think a lot of this plays into our current dynamic. I read the post you recommended and I really do not have worries about "a consistent man that she is becoming emotionally invested with". She doesn't exhibit warning signs of an emotional attachment with another man and she isn't trying to get knocked up by another man just because she wrestles with having a third child. She always praises my fatherhood, tells me that I'm such a good dad to our kids and says I'm the reason she thinks a 3rd kid is a good idea. Our level of emotional investment hasn't changed,she hasn't tuned out at all so I really don't think she is falling in love with another man. I legitimately feel that is not the case here. Our fantasy talk or real talk has always been centered on strangers, "random hotties" that we encounter that turn us on. It's no secret that a long marriage involves both partners occasionally thinking of these "random hotties" during intimacy. It's no secret either that we see attractive people and get turned on by them too. We both acknowledge this. We've both acknowledged that we think of other people during sex. Like once time I saw a scantily clad woman at a store with no bra, a skimpy tank top and short shorts showing off her rear end and she absolutely got my engine going. During sex, I told her about her and she told me to imagine her while we were going at it. Other times I start with the dirty talk and her response is "no, I just want you" which is when she just wants to make love. But I'm rambling.....the point is, for the two of us, the random stranger that we find desirable or that they find us desirable is the actual "kink", this is the turn on that would make two average looking individuals with no significant traits considered to be "peak beauty" feel sexually charged. I hate to think I am alone in both of us being turned on by this but the onslaught of commenters seem to indicate that perhaps I am. Like every normal couple out there has the "I only think about you baby" attitude except maybe OldShirt. Part of being honest with the two of us is acknowledging what we are thinking. But in either case, I think my head is in a better place than 2 days ago. The commenters seem to think that I am some political lefty (terms have been used in comments like "woke" or neo-feminist), which is frankly quite insulting. I'm a super moderate guy and I don't fall into all this team red/team blue silliness. I am just a guy who likes his wife to feel desired and gets turned on when she feels desires, especially because she has had self esteem issues for the majority of her life. Commenters have talked about her waxing her hoo-ha like if that is some sort of dead giveaway of infidelity. I disagree. She has always been "very hairy" down there. She doesn't like to shave because she would often get painful ingrown hairs. But we go to the beach and she doesn't like a huge muff bulging through her swimsuit. So in July prior to a beach trip, she decided to do a full Brazilian so that the hair wouldn't show through her white full body swimsuit. I didn't object and actually found it quite arousing as I could see the whole thing. And when I play down there, she says she can feel every part of her organ getting treated since it's so clean. This is when she says she started feeling more "womanly" and I guess started getting a big head about her sexuality. People also comment that shes losing weight for someone else or to find a new partner. Again, I disagree. She has always struggled with her weight. At one point she was 240 lbs. Her ideal weight is 175. She is down to 180. So this has been the cycle off and on since I've known her. Weight loss isn't something she just started doing, she's been trying to manage it for most of her life. But what I am saying is that these are all contributing factors that have led us where we are at. Shes looking good and feeling good about herself. More eyes are going in her direction. Shes at a crossroads in life with motherhood. She's had unhealthy subconscious reinforcement from me that I might be open for an open marriage. Couple all this with being out on the town with her gal pals with booze in the mix can certainly lead to disaster. I think that's why our boundary conversation was crucial, and she knows my honest feelings about our dirty talk and how we have to cut it off. I agree that we are probably still playing with fire, and by no means do I feel like I am out of the woods, but i do feel that at least in a sober state, we are on the same page. I feel like I at least have a water hose handy instead of being empty handed.

 

[BurntEnds]

I wonder if she is wearing a wedding ring when she is doing this flirting, dancing and getting drinks from guys.

@BurntEnds Does your wife wear her wedding band?

Yeah she wears her band. Well, she has two that she normally wears together but she takes off the "expensive" one when she goes out to places that might be at risk of theft

 

[BurntEnds]

I was asking more for an idea of his wife's mindset. Obviously she could be taking it off as soon as she walks out the door. I was just curious if she "advertises" that she is married.

Right, I agree. During our first talk, she even made mention that "I have my ring on so they know I'm taken" to which I scoffed and replied "right, like that is going to stop some horny bastard from going in for the kill". But her mindset was the key here, that she's not putting forth the effort to make men think she is single.

 

[BurntEnds]

How often is she going on the GNOs?

Typically once or twice a month

 

[BurntEnds]

How old is she?

ETA - you've been married 15 years. So she's at least in her mid-late 30s.

That's pretty old to be clubbing. Especially every month, sometimes twice a month. Seems she's wishing she was still a single 23 year old.

Not great.

I say this because my wife went through this phase with a bunch of single GFs a couple of times. Once around 30 and once again around 35. She did it more than your wife, even, and it almost ended our marriage more than once. The more she does that (this would go for guys too), the less time she's investing in the relationship and the more she's wishing for a different life.

I speak from experience.

I think the terminology "clubbing" insinuates something different to me. She's playing music bingo at a ******* bar with her teacher friends, most of which are older, fatter and married. She is 35. She's not out with a bunch of young gorgeous skinny little things. Believe me, if she was going to the metro downtown with a crew of hotties and coming home at 3am, I'd be scared to death. But I know she is with older not so desirable gals (which makes her by default the pick of the litter) playing bingo at a hick bar in the sticks and normally gets home like at 11 or 12. Some months she doesn't even have a GNO at all. It's more infrequent than frequent

 

[BurntEnds]

You said earlier that she usually goes out with one women in her 20's and one in her 40's.
You are now trying to play down the things you said earlier.

One friend that is 22 and recently married. The others are well into their 40s. I suppose I would take the comment back that my wife is the pick of the litter. The 22 year old is thin, beautiful and Asian. My wife is 35, chubby, average looking and white.