Here's the short version of my story:
2 months ago, my wife left me abruptly when I found an inordinate amount of texts and phone calls to a number unknown to me.
Prior to that, we have been together for 12 years, married for 9 with no kids. Everything seemed to be going fine, however, after I confronted her with this information, she said she had been "unhappy for about 6 months" and I wasn't attentive enough to her. She is a very beautiful woman, who has been catered to by me, and is very spoiled, and dependent on lots of money to travel and buy things!
Well she is a nurse, and I eventually find out that she is having a PA with a married surgeon who started texting her. She let me suffer for about 1.5 months saying that I was stupid, and there was no affair. I had never experienced such emotional pain in my life, I couldn't eat, sleep & had to go on anti-depressants. Throughout this whole process, she watched, and I remained in communication via text and phone calls the whole time.
Since this guy is a Dr., and he just built a large home, has a wife, and 3 kids, when I contacted him via text and told him to leave the wife alone or I would spill the beans to his family, he stopped all communications at that point. Well, once this stopped another surgeon that is his friend began to text my wife and the talk quickly turned to sex. She also began texting sexually explicit texts to this guy! In addition to this, while on one of our MC recommended "date nights", I found out that she was telling another guy she used to think was "hot" to text her so they could catch up.
The problem is that now, my wife feels that she is love with him (the first surgeon), even though he has nothing to do with her. I know all of this because I have tons of transcripts of her text messages that she backed up on my home PC. She has since moved back in (I didn't find any of the transcripts until she moved back in) and our marriage counselor is telling us to try and get along and we slowly address the situation, and she has to work on building trust. The problem I have with this, is that I seem to be the only one trying to be nice, and trying to act like this never happened until the next MC session....
My question is will this kind of communication ever be effective, or should I kick her out again, and try the 180? Thanks guys.
2 months ago, my wife left me abruptly when I found an inordinate amount of texts and phone calls to a number unknown to me.
Prior to that, we have been together for 12 years, married for 9 with no kids. Everything seemed to be going fine, however, after I confronted her with this information, she said she had been "unhappy for about 6 months" and I wasn't attentive enough to her. She is a very beautiful woman, who has been catered to by me, and is very spoiled, and dependent on lots of money to travel and buy things!
Well she is a nurse, and I eventually find out that she is having a PA with a married surgeon who started texting her. She let me suffer for about 1.5 months saying that I was stupid, and there was no affair. I had never experienced such emotional pain in my life, I couldn't eat, sleep & had to go on anti-depressants. Throughout this whole process, she watched, and I remained in communication via text and phone calls the whole time.
Since this guy is a Dr., and he just built a large home, has a wife, and 3 kids, when I contacted him via text and told him to leave the wife alone or I would spill the beans to his family, he stopped all communications at that point. Well, once this stopped another surgeon that is his friend began to text my wife and the talk quickly turned to sex. She also began texting sexually explicit texts to this guy! In addition to this, while on one of our MC recommended "date nights", I found out that she was telling another guy she used to think was "hot" to text her so they could catch up.
The problem is that now, my wife feels that she is love with him (the first surgeon), even though he has nothing to do with her. I know all of this because I have tons of transcripts of her text messages that she backed up on my home PC. She has since moved back in (I didn't find any of the transcripts until she moved back in) and our marriage counselor is telling us to try and get along and we slowly address the situation, and she has to work on building trust. The problem I have with this, is that I seem to be the only one trying to be nice, and trying to act like this never happened until the next MC session....
My question is will this kind of communication ever be effective, or should I kick her out again, and try the 180? Thanks guys.
