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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
:confused::D Okay, so first off this is my first thread. EVER! I am going to give you a briefing on my life, just a rough run through.
My husband and I started dating when we were in 8th grade in school. We have been together since. Married in the year 2004 and in 2005 we had our first born and in 2007 had our second. Now due to me having pregnancy complications we decided not to have another child so I had my tubes tied. A few years past and I was having pains and found out it was endemetriosis. I had to have a complete hysterectomy due to this. So now I am going through menopause. I am only 25! I only have FL medicaid and the Dr's. I am provided with will not give me hormone replacement therapy. I have tried all natural products and no luck yet. So I am moody, hot flashes always, and just in general stressed. I lost my job of 3 years at walgreens due to not being reliable enough because of my condition always worsening. So it is just my husband providing right now. I guess what I am getting at now that you have a little backround is in the recent months my husband and I have been fighting alot. Over financial issues and over just us not working out. You see with me not working hes pulling all the weight and Ive always helped but its taking time to get back to work. Alot of places are not hiring so in the meantime I am home ALL DAy with the children. I tend to be a little clingy when hes finally home from work which im working on. But he does work 8am to 11 at night because he works two jobs. When he does get home from work its straight to the shower and bed. He doesnt talk to me unless hes complaining about something with me. I go through the effort of making him nice dinners and hes not eating them or critisizing them! When we do have a free moment for each other it turns into a fight. He doesnt look at me the same anymore. I have gained a little weight but im only 130pounds. I work out when I can and barely eat. Heres an example of something that got to me. We walked out of a sprint store and he flew the door open and sped off to the truck and the door nearly hit me in the face cause he didnt think to hold it for me. Or how about going from Sex 3-4 times a week to two times a month? He told me to stop calling him while hes at work but I have no choice. He leaves me with no car and no means to get things for the kids. So i call him to remind him to get these things and he gets mad! I admit I like calling him at work bc its the only time i can talk to him but he just gets mad and hangs up, says i embarrass him like i dont trust him or something. So ive stopped calling period, and dealing with things on my own. This is alot of scatterd info but im jut concerned. We talk about it once its got to far into the fight and divorce or seperation is threatend. Its sad it takes us nearly splitting to talk things out but theres no time for us to talk in his world. What do I do? I am seeing a councelor myself, but he wont bother. It feels like its just me and the kids, I dont feel married. He doesnt even feel like my best friend anymore and he was my only friend.
Also, we have a male roomate and hes almost 30 and my husbands younger sister who has twoo infants and is pregnant. Were in a three bedroom 2 bath house. My kids are in my room always. Weve never lived without somebody living with us. I feel like he cant live with just me and the kids. And i dont like the kids sleeping in my room. Not to mention his sisters a complete BIT. She and her man have problems and he refuses to take care of her and her kids so shes living with us living off us for free. Im aggravated with this bc the boyfriend sleeps here every night without permission he sneaks in. on my husbands birthday she got mad at me for feeding my children lunch in front of her kids because her mans a loser and wont provide her with food. So she punched me in the face. My husband got mad at me for it! Kicked me out for the day and as i threatend to call the cops he threw my phone down. He doesnt wnt his pregnant sister arrested. I understand but I dont deserve that abuse. So were all crammed in this hell hole!
 

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D: Wow. I know it's not as easy as kick everyone out and get a job so he can quit working two, but that's the only advice I can give. I can't blame either of you for being completely stressed out. Yikes.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
D: Wow. I know it's not as easy as kick everyone out and get a job so he can quit working two, but that's the only advice I can give. I can't blame either of you for being completely stressed out. Yikes.

Yeah well hes set on keeping the one roomate (male) for sure because hes helping with rent since im not working. But this is his best friend. Sometimes when he comes home the roomates waiting for him and has a full blown convo in front of me like im not there. And my husband just goes to bed. Its like, I wanna talk too darnit!!!!! I wish I could kick everyone out. Hes told his sister to get out twice and shes still here!:scratchhead:
 

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What a mess....and a stressful mess it is! I'm sorry you are having to live like this. This arrangement isn't healthy for anyone.

Do you and your children have a friend or family member who can take you in? You really need a safe haven while you make some decisions. Are you on one of the Medicaid HMOs? It sounds like it. Florida Medicaid is really not providing adequate health care to its receiptants. Are you seeing a gynecologist or a general practice physician? You need to focus on your health, so you can find employment again.

BTW, I would have called the police on your SIL. And I believe I would be leaving the husband for supporting his sister's bad behavior. Unbelievable!
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
What a mess....and a stressful mess it is! I'm sorry you are having to live like this. This arrangement isn't healthy for anyone.

Do you and your children have a friend or family member who can take you in? You really need a safe haven while you make some decisions. Are you on one of the Medicaid HMOs? It sounds like it. Florida Medicaid is really not providing adequate health care to its receiptants. Are you seeing a gynecologist or a general practice physician? You need to focus on your health, so you can find employment again.

BTW, I would have called the police on your SIL. And I believe I would be leaving the husband for supporting his sister's bad behavior. Unbelievable!
Hey, no I have not a friend in the world. As in real friend that would pull themselves away from a bar for 2 seconds. So no! :( Its sad really. But he has all the friends in the world and I have none. Im the nagging house wife. Ive never been on a vacation, a get away, nothing. I wish! Were always just getting by. Its sad but true. Florida medicaid does suck I hate it but Im greatful for what I do have anyways even the little bit that is. Im seeing both obgyn and GPP. Ive been focusing on my health but then money comes an issue. Because since im not working he doesnt admit it but he gets pissed when he has to pay the few medical bills for me that he does. If it wasnt for me we wouldnt have food stamps. He acts sometimes like i provide nothing. I dont know. It is unbelievable and sad. My dad did report my SIL because he works for the county. Just incase something else arose. My dads all together done with that family. And I cant say I almost agree. I dont know what besides love ties me to him anymore. Its scary what we go through. This cant be normal right? I know lifes not a fairy tale but I see all other couples happy and doing fun things together. We cant even have a convo. Dont speak unless spoken to is what i feel like. I dont call him at all just so he doesnt get mad. Since he works 24/7 any time I call is business time. But its like when do i get my 2 seconds. And sometimes my roomate annoys me. Hes waiting by his window for my husband to come home to talk to him so when he walks in the door my roomie strikes a convo with him and then they get bored and off to bed. Sometimes i wanna smack my roomate. Like seriously? Are you the wife or something? Sometimes Ive assumed they were gay secretly. I hate to say that but the way they act. They never fight, there butt buddies haha! Sad, but so so true. I dont believe there gay but it has crossed my mind. Its just annoying. I know im babbling im just lost. How can we not be having sex? Why isnt he trying. Im done with making the moves. Is he not into me? Is he cheating? Well who knows :confused:
 

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I think first things first.
The healthcare you are receiving is inadequate.
Here is a link to an organization in your state that will be able to help you or refer you to the people who are contracted to oversee the quality of the care provided under Medicare and Medicaid.

FMQAI | Healthcare Initiatives Beneficiary Protection

If this woman assualted you in front of your children or her children then that is abuse towards the children. It needs to be reported. If her kids were hungry then that also needs to be reported, if she is unable to provide them adequate food on a regular basis.

You have the right to report an assualt, and to report abuse and neglect of children. Your H does not have the right to decide when you can do this.

The police will inform him that he can be charged as an accomplice or even witness tampering.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I agree, my SIL's boyfriend is a loser. He has had plenty of chanced to get jobs and has turned them down because hed rather smoke weed. Just like food stamps they cant be approved because fl foodstamps drug tests now so instead of putting his children first hed rather smoke. And im not a bad aunt ill cook for them when i can. But I have my own family to support you know. I am not working and there not paying rent so theres no income to help otherwise. There was a report filed later that day by my father. The problem that im having right now is my husband and I told her to leave 4 days ago and she still hasnt left. She was only sposed to stay a week and shes been at our house for 4 months now. She looks right through me and gives me a death look. Like what did i do to her? I mean seriously. We helped her as much as we could. When her bf would abuse her id call the cops and take her in everytime. It got to the point that me and her friends gave up because she kept going back. And she doesnt understand its not easy for me to see that. So this was her last chance and now shes sneaking that A hole in my house at night. I feel if I say something shell hit me again, and I dont want to deal with that. And my husband doesnt want police involved because shes pregnant and though he says he agrees with me 100 percent now he doesnt want her in jail. I understand but still. She says she has no where to go. She does but shes chosing not to go there, thats not my fault. Ughh theres alot about her i could go on for days. Since she moved in , weve had more problems then normal. Shes dirty doesnt cleean after herself nothing. And my H and I have seen better days before her arrival. How do I get her out asap? Without law?
 

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I see this as abuse all the way around. Perhaps contact an abused women's shelter for guidance. I also understand the United Way may be helpful in cases like yours. The bottom line is that you and your children need to find a way out of the situation you are in. Don't wait on your husband. He is part of the problem.
 
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