No, it is not ridiculous. You are right to keep your head about yourself and not rush, but don’t start putting up blinders to protect yourself or minimize your husband’s behavior.No it wasnt the way you're thinking.. we were married in front of both our families and a couple of friends, had a small wedding party etc
And no it's unlikely that he's married to this woman. I know I should keep my wits about me but I'm not going to run off with the idea that he's married to her and hat her child is his. That's ridiculous. Like I said earlier I dont believe it's a PA, it's likely that its EA.
Also I dont see his other friendships the way you've described. I get your point. But those girls and H keeps within boundaries. Since we have been together they have taken a step back and put some respect on our relationship. Anytime we go out I'm invited without saying. Sally has issues and is toxic. Whereas his other friends come across as just normal, mature beings.
I once dated a guy at university who tried to reassure me that none of his ex's 3 kids were his. This was the early '80s when single parents trying to get a university degree was unheard of.We have multiple threads of men hiding affair children which is fraud as well.
Oh I see. No we dont believe in that kind of marriage, There's probably only a small sect of muslims that practice that. Majority dont believe that it's part of the Muslim faith. And regardless I doubt H even knows such a thing exists or would bother with that kind of thing just to get laid... if that is what he's doing.I asked about the marriage and made my comment because I am aware that at least some types of muslims recognize a temporary marriage. That can be dismissed easily once not needed. Even for a night.
So a man can have a 'real" wife as most recognize the role. and, still have other wives of a sort.
I'm murky on the details, obviously. But I'm wondering if your husband is slipping along the borders of technicalities here.
So now I've realised that H is speaking to Sally through the snapchat app... on which messages will just disappear, unless you save them individually. I don't even have to ask him to know he's not saving them. Only realised this morning before he went off to work. I didn't say anything... didn't know what to say or how to confront him. I think what stops me from speaking is that I just don't want to hear any excuses or bull**** stories anymore.The only way we could get through this is if he decides to just be honest with me. If I hear one more lie I'll fly into a rage... and then he will likely also fly into a rage and then we'll get nowhere. I'll probably pack up and go back to my parents home. I'm just sat contemplating all of this... dont know what I would even tell my parents.
He is lying and YOU know it. This isn’t a legal situation where you have to prove to a judge or jury what he’s doing. YOU know it and that’s enough.So I confronted him and now he is gas lighting me. Telling me that my paranoia and insecurities will drive him away and that I need help.
How do you deal with it when someone is gas lighting you?? I need to get to the bottom of this, I have zero proof of anything.
I dont know if he is currently in any sort of affair with sally. But I'm sure that there was something going on between them not long before H met me. And he's gone and deleted the facebook messages that likely had some proof in them. And I can't retrieve them. So basically it's just his word against mine.
You know what you see and experience. If he is prioritizing Sally over you, that is wrong. My mantra is that I will not be in an exclusive relationship with someone who treats other women unrelated to him better than he treats me.I dont know if he is currently in any sort of affair with sally.
He is lying and YOU know it. This isn’t a legal situation where you have to prove to a judge or jury what he’s doing. YOU know it and that’s enough.
I do find it interesting how people treat matters as if they are being tried in a government court. no you aren't. And you don't have the same powers to demand evidence. Even though we here agree that you should see your partner's messaging, we all know that in some places snooping even on your legal spouse can be illegal. Don't wait to the bitter end because you feel you don't have solid proof. We make decisions all the time based on inadequate information. Sometimes, that's all that you are going to get. Plus if he cared, he would be behaving in ways that make you feel safe. Not like something is missing.
He is so desperate to keep in contact with Sally and also hide their interactions that I firmly believe that they are having an affair. Me, too. but he could also just be acting out passive aggressive tendencies. ie "I'll show her." Do you really want that in a partner.
If possible I would move out, at least for a while.Be honest if anyone asks why, he’s behaving inappropriately with another woman and lying to you about it.
What often happens in these situations is that if you split up and he gets together with Sally they will claim nothing happened until you left him. If you tell both families why you are leaving him as soon as you leave he can’t claim to be the injured party. This s true.
No. That's not true. It's his actions against your gut feelings and common sense.So basically it's just his word against mine.