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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello! First time poster here. My husband and I have been married for almost 19 years. We have both been unfaithful in the past but I am not sure he is being completely honest about everything. I found a phone number in his phone named Kayla I asked him who it was and he said a girl from work, I looked the number up and it was a girl that lived in our hometown. I sent him a pic of her and asked who it was and he said "I have never seen her before". Another instance is my neighbor had a girlfriend move in with him... come to find out it was a girl he used to have a crush on in his hometown. Him and her both told me a story that when he was young (she is a bit older) he would go hug her and tell her he was going to marry her one day. Anyway I did not think to much about it, but last weekend we were sitting by the pool and she was drunk and said that she met a kid that used to tell her that he was going to marry her at a bar one time and she had sex with him. She also went on to tell me that he was married. I mentioned to my husband that he acted weird around her and he snapped at me and said she was a liar and a drunk and I shouldn't believe anything she says. Should I be worried. I just have this crazy feeling that I don't know something. Thank you,
 

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There are bold face lies, little white lies, and lies of omission. How many of these do you think he has committed?

Acting weird is a sign there is truth to what this other woman told you. Especially if he is accusing her of being a liar and a drunk. He is hiding something by attacking you and her both.
 

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What?

Sounds like she is pulling your chain.

She tells you about your husband say he was going to marry her one day when kids. Then she tells you a story about a guy at a bar. Too coincidental.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Considering you both cheated, did you all ever go through the proper steps to reconcile and to regain each other's trust?
It happened 15 years ago and we went through counseling for 3 years. 12 years and we haven't had any problems. I have been having terrible insecurity issues. Was thinking maybe that could be the evil seed sprouting doubts.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Why did you cheat?
Because I was 17 years old on drugs and we were running with a terrible crowd. We had been married for a year and I Got caught up in an older man's narcissistic web and my drug driven immature brain said go with it. Obviously it was a bad choice and in even in the state of mind I was in, I immediately confessed.
 

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Why is that relevant?
Well, depending on who he cheated with, this might be the key to tell if there is a chance of reconciliation long term.

Was it an ex-girlfriend? It might be a sign he still has feelings for her.

Was it one of your friends? This can be one of the worst betrayals for you.

Was it someone from your social group? It could happen again if you all still hang out in that group.

Was it a complete stranger? A one night stand, that was not very memorable, might be easier for you both to overcome.

Anyways, cheating is cheating. It could happen again depending on who he cheated with, and why.

JMHO.
 
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