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I was drawn to the title of this thread while googling for answers to my very similar circumstances. This is my 1st time on this site and would love feedback from anyone as I have been searching for answers for years and am still looking for some insite that will hopefully lead me to the truth.

I have been married for almost 6 years and have been with him for a total of almost 15 years. Throughout our relationship, I have never caught him cheating but have always suspected it. About 4 1/2 years ago I came across an email from a girl that was dating one of his employees. The email was a poem about men vs women and sex. Had my attention at SEX! I confronted him about it and he said he had no idea who she was and then said oh isn't that the girl Jeff is dating. I said yes, but why is she emailing you. He said that Jeff probably emailed me from her address......anyway it had my attention, thus the investigation began!!!

He at the time had just started working for this company the year before. I investigated pretty heavily for a year and it didn't lead me to much. But I was not about to overlook the sicking feeling still in my gut.

When he started working for this company, there were 3 owners (all men and all married with kids). Two of them always struck me as having feminine tendencies and the other one not so much. As time went on one of the feminine ones went through a divorce and was eventually fired due to his performance. Before being fired they would all 4 go on fishing trips together in Florida for 4+ days, atleast 4 times a year. They would usually get 2 rooms and 2 would stay in one room and 2 in the other. At 1st, I thought it was a little odd especially for my husband only being in the company less than a year, being invited on extravagent trips, and sleeping in the same room with another man that he barely knew. Then on the other hand, I never suspected that he might be gay so I didn't give it much thought. It wasn't until after being a regular occurance on any trips he went on with them business or pleasure, he was staying in the same room with one of the bosses in particular (the one that was feminine). When I questioned why with him and not the other one, he said because he snores too much and no one wants to be in the same room as him. After about the 3rd or 4th fishing trip, he came home and was acting a weird all week. That weekend, we had an arguement about my suspitions. Then he started crying and telling me that he was depressed and was having thoughts of sucide. I had no idea what happened nor why all of a sudden after the fishing trip he had these feelings???? Could something homosexual have occurred for the 1st time and he didn't know what to feel?????? Keep in mind that all trips he goes on, esp the fishing ones, there is HEAVY drinking that occurs. Esp the 1st night they get there. And alot of times he would say he would call but never did, or called sooo late at night after I was asleep and leave me some drunk message.

Around this time, I had been checking his boxers regularly because I still had suspicions that he was fooling around with someone. My daughter was a baby at the time, therefore I could not follow him or wait for him to go to lunch to follow him around to see what he was doing. I also feared he would see my car and know that I was on to him. Therefore, I resorted to checking his clothes. I started noticing semen stains in his boxers more frequently (especially in the ones from his trips) and know it was not coming from me all the time. I started to document it and what I would find to see if I could notice a pattern....but there was none. Sometimes it would be once a week, sometimes 2 or 3, but I could never pinpoint a certain pattern from week to week. He never brings his lunch to work and therefore eats out everyday (usually with one or both bosses), with the exception of a working lunch in the office. For years, I had the suspition that he was fooling around with the office manager. When I would bring up her name and ask about her and if he was having an affair with her, he would always get sooooo defensive and deny everything. RED FLAG RIGHT????? But after years of getting to know her a little here and there, she seems like she is a devout christian and happily married with kids.

So who then????.....the investigating continues. For awhile, everytime I would question his whereabouts or question his infidelity, the stains in his boxers would disappear (atleast for a week or 2). Then BAM, they would return again. I started noticing that he would work late and when he would get home he would be on the phone with one of his bosses (feminine one), sometimes for hours outside pacing our LONG driveway and walking way up in the street for the majority of his calls. He would say that was because he got better reception there???? Or did he not want me to hear the convo??? This went on for a long time and he would say it was because they had a lot of issues at work and his boss was a worry wart. I was getting extremely tired of it, considering he would work all day, get home late, and come home and be on the phone until late at night with his boss.

He was also climbing the ladder rather quickly at work. Starting out as a project manager and is now VP soon to be President and partner after 5 years of working there . Don't get me wrong, he has worked his butt off and truely deserves it, but just odd.

I started noticing that every trip he went on with this boss, he would always return with semen stains in his boxers and sometimes latex smell. And they were staying in the same room. Ummmmm???? Could it be that it is from him masturbating, them sleeping with some woman or women, or them having sexual relations together???? I have on a couple of occasions noticed him walking funny (as if something's up his butt) for a day or so after he returns from these trips. SOMEONE HELP ME!!! Could my husband be bisexual???? I have noticed a couple of times semen stains on the outside of his boxers by his anal area from a trip with this guy. What the heck is going on????

About 2 years ago, we were staying at a lake house with one of his bosses and his wife. After multiple glasses of wine and everyone asleep but his wife and I, my tongue started to slip and I asked her if she thought the other boss was kind of feminine. She said yes. So I asked her if she thought is was odd that when they went on fishing trips, that her husband slept on the 3 bedroom boat by himself while the other boss and my husband sleep in a hotel room together. NO COMMENT......foot in mouth. Oddly enough after that conversation with her (which I tought was between us) they have NEVER slept in the same room again (or from what I am told anyway). Therefore she ran her mouth to her hubby and he told the other boss. JUST LOVELY!!!

All that aside, the stains and latex smell in his boxers still continue every week and esp from his trips. I am now pretty good at detecting if the stains are from maturbating with lotion, lubricant, just arousal, etc. However, I have recently started noticing white stains on the inside of his boxers right around the anal area. I have tested them with the semen detector kit twice and both were negative. However, I don't think (or surely hope to God) that if he is having anal sex with this guy that he is using protection. Therefore, I wonder if it is from a lubricant or lotion?? He does not use lotions on his body after showering only when masterbating. Any insite would be much appreciated!! The most recent time was this past Saturday when he had to go to the office and meet this boss to sign some papers for something. He was there for 45mins which should have been 15min. He came home, worked in the yard, and took a shower. Low and behold the white anal stains were there. Huh????

I have made remarks to him a few times (usually when I'm drinking) that he is gay and he blows up and says how insulting that is and that he will divorce me the next time I say it. I am at my wits end with all of this crap. I just want a normal, happy marriage and family. We have one child and I would like another, but don't want to go that route if his is possibly cheating with another (married with kids) man.

My hubby has always been very anal about home, car, yard, etc. cleanliness and appearance. He has also always been very anal about his own appearance. About a 1 1/2 years ago he started working out in cross fit 2-3 times a week with his other boss and has lost 20+ lbs. Now he wants to wear more form fitting clothes (always designer), is more worried about his appearance, does more man grooming, etc, etc. Both of his bosses wear extremely expensive designer clothes, shoes, watches, etc and are very particular about their appearance.

Soooooo sorry for this lengthy novel!! Hopefully you aren't snoozing !!! Unfortunetly, I could keep going and going and going, but am out of time. This is only a fraction of what I could say about all of this. Any feedback and similar personal experiences would be lovely!! Ta Ta for now !!!
 

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Based on the evidence you've found I would think your suspicions are accurate.

The question is, with all you DO know, what do you want to do about it? He's not going to tell you you're right. He's denied your questioning already.

I'd be tempted to hire a PI or find a way to follow him myself. Borrow a friends car or whatever.
 

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Outside of your concerns about him cheating, what is your relationship with him like? Do you have sex? Is it good?

Sex toys (like a fleshlight) might cause the latex smell.

How tolerant is the community that you live in? Would it have been possible for him to 'come out' before you were married?

The excessive time with bosses does seem weird. Do you have friends besides his two bosses? Does your husband react strongly when you encourage him to develop other friendships?

Based on the fact that you were reading your husband's e-mail, and that you found it troubling that a woman would send a funny poem to your husband, and your reaction to the mere word 'sex' suggests to me that you tend to be suspicious, and might find cause for concern whatever your husband was doing. It's hard to determine.

Regardless of what he's doing it might be most helpful for you to drop the infidelity obsession, and express your concern for the marriage to him and ask him what you might both do to make it happier.
 

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Sounds like he's gay.

Guys aren't really bisexual; they're just hetero or gay, although some gay men will have sex with women from time to time, either due to confusion or just to cover their tracks, that sort of thing.
 

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Sounds like he's gay.

Guys aren't really bisexual; they're just hetero or gay, although some gay men will have sex with women from time to time, either due to confusion or just to cover their tracks, that sort of thing.
Bold statement to make.
Anyways, to OP.
Are you sure they are gonig on a fishing trip? Maybe they go to Vegas for the weekend?
Or maybe they have girls come to where they are fishing?
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Ryan, I know they are where they say they are because I have his password to his amex business acct and can see certain but not all charges. However, he does have another business acct that I don't have access to and can't get it bc it is controlled by the owners. I have thought about that many times that maybe they are bringing girls to the location but do not know for sure. But, def something is up. Sagebush, our relationship is ok. It used to be amazing! Yet from the start he was ALL about his friends. I have learned to deal with it now, but there has always been something more important throughout our relationship. Friends and family have always come before me. We have many friends, he can't live without them. Loves hanging with the boys. He has 3 brothers and his dad was very manly and raised them that way. So no, he would never come out willingly if this is the case. Sex is ok for me. There is no foreplay anymore unless I ask for it and sex usually lasts a couple of minutes before he's done. I have asked for years that if he wants it more, to turn me on when I'm not in the mood. Instead, I get a dry hump and u want to f*** or suck it??? Wow!!!! My juices are flowing....I mean give me something from time to time! I have introduced toys, like beads and used them once on him and now am reluctant to break them out due to the circumstances. However, he put them in his drawer and uses them often. I would love to work on our relationship, however I have tried numerous times with no avail. I am just exhausted with my efforts never getting me anywhere and this stuff still occurring. I am now at my wits end as to what to do. I have wanted to hire a PI, however I am a stay at home mom and our acct is joint. It would take me awhile to secretely pull out enough funds to do it. I am scared, as any woman would be to find out that the man they have been with for 15 yrs may be gay and have a child involved too. I am a beautiful woman who has lost my place and confidence in this world due to my situation. If he is doing something, which I suspect, and given all of our history, I would pick up and move on if I have actual proof that something is going on. He is very manipulative and sneaky in his ways. Therefore, unless I have proof, he will deny, deny, deny till the day that he dies.......
 

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Whether he's bisexual or not is beside the point. You're in a terrible marriage with lousy sex.

Save your money for the lawyer that you will likely need, regardless of whether he's having sex with men, women, dolphins, or his hand.

Personally, I'd give him an ultimatum that included several demands. Among them:STD testing and condoms for the next 3 months, 4 nights/wk spent with family, and counseling. If he won't comply, then let him know that you aren't sure how much longer you can stay in the marriage. Then take steps to becoming independent: schooling, get your health in order, sock money away. Your changes may get him to reconsider his ways.

Stop obsessing over his sexual orientation -- it's irrelevant for any action you would need to take.
 

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Pink, the bigger question is what this means to you.

You're making yourself crazy and going to great lengths to condemn your husband. You don't have to have undeniable proof. Either you're happy with things or you aren't. If you thought he was having an affair with a woman, you'd have enough evidence to make a decision. You have enough now.

Assume your suspicions are correct and move forward from here - whatever that means to you. If it means you want the marriage to be happy, then drop the issue and focus on whatever it is in the marriage that needs work.

If it means you want out, go now. "I don't want this any longer" is a valid reason for leaving if you're not happy.

You're not going to change his sexual inclinations any more than you could suddenly become attracted to women more than men. Either accept what you have, or find someone you can accept.
 

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If he is gay and with all the detective work you have put in, which sounds exhausting, your husband is staying in the closet and never coming out.
Posted via Mobile Device
 

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She said she never thought he was gay but he changed when he started the job.... Could he feel pressured to go along to get along - that type of sexual relations that people get involved in because they want to be at the top, want to be in the LOOP crowd?

I was reading a thread where they talked about what happens in the music industry and what men have done to get where they are now. There is always someone at the top who will use his power to get what he wants and usually its is pursuing that one person that they have to PROPOSITION and QUID PRO QUO type deals. The thread called names and listed all the men that gave in to get where they are now but dont consider themselves "GAY" but just did what they had to do to get to the top. If you do it and then feel like you Dang near suicidal-- sounds like it is definitely not worth it.

I also saw this commercial some years ago that would have been a good novel or movie but the guy was a doctor and wanting to open a clinic and some guy came to him giving him his dream- great job, clinic but he had to sleep with him. After he did, he had this look of disgust and his wife was asking him what was wrong.... it was a serious wakeup call for people to stop wondering and start asking questions
 

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Discussion Starter #11
I guess my biggest issue here is that I would love for our marriage to be healthy again and work through our issues. However, we have tried in the past with no avail. Yet on the other hand, If this has been going on for as long as I think it has then what an SOB he is.

There have been many times when our relationship is going smoothly and sex it great, then he returns from one of his "trips" with s*** in is underwear. And he comes home so lovey dovey and what am I supposed to think and how do I act when the evidence is clearly there??? This all just sucks........never how I expected my marriage to be.

Maybe the issue is not about his sexuality, but it is about him cheating. I guess the fact that it may be with a man as opposed to a woman pains me more. Esp if he was this way before we married. Then what have I just been a cover up to his secret lifestyle for all of these years????

As I said before, I love him dearly and want this to work out. However, I am at a point now where I want to know the truth. And in order for me to move forward in my life, I have to see it with my own eyes so I can rest assured that I am not crazy for thinking these things. Not to mention, that if I left this marriage now on the account that I am just "done with things" then I feel defeated. Because there is no way in h*** that he will admit to his wrong doings, EVER. It is just not ok for him to have done this for this many years and I just walk away and let him get away with it. I don't want him telling our family, friends, and daughter later on in life that we ended our relationship because of me. Am I crazy for thinking this way?????
 

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You are not crazy for thinking this way. I think you have enough here to make a decision. The fishing trips are ridiculous. The sharing beds is ridiculous. The anal stains are ridiculous. The smell of latex is ridiculous. It's all ridiculous. The timing of all of these things is not coincidental. Your woman's intuition tells you all you need to know.

Set some boundaries for the sake of your sanity and the sake of your marriage. Enough is enough with his behavior. Read back through your own posts in this thread. The answers couldn't be more clear. YOU are not getting what YOU need out of this marriage. That needs to change for you to stay.

I also agree that you need to have PI follow this guy on one of his fishing trips. Yes, it will be expensive, but hire a PI in the area where they go so you can finally get the answer here.
 

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Thank you for your comment shaylady! I know in my heart that this is the case with my husband. The one boss has gay tendencies, is married to a wife who is so nieve and just loves the money and expensive things he buys her, and they have 2 kids. The other boss I think is the same, but is better at hiding it and his wife just does anything his says and doesn't question anything. She likes the money too!!

Our relationship was great before this job. Of course we had our issues, but very healthly. After about a year of this job, is when it all started going down hill. He was spending more time at the office, on the phone till late with the bosses, going on trips, and moving quickly up the ladder. The time that he came back from his trip looking depressed, remorseful, and suicidal is when I believe it all began. There are still times when he comes back from certain trips that he gets upset if I am distant after discovering that his underwear is full of stuff. Therefore, I can see that he doesn't want to hurt me and feels guilty for his actions. However, it does not stop and now I feel in my heart that he may actually enjoy it.

His bosses are so far up their own a****, rolling in their millions (that my hubby helped to create), and think that they are smarter than anyone. Obviously, my hubby wants a piece of the pie that he helped create and I believe will stop at nothing to get it. Meanwhile, I am here wanting our marriage to be normal again and he wants his cake and eat it too. Thus, I will not let these SOBs get away with ruining our marriage for their own personal satisfaction and wealth. That's why I want so badly to catch them in the act and bring them down as well......
 

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Thank you for your comment shaylady! I know in my heart that this is the case with my husband. The one boss has gay tendencies, is married to a wife who is so nieve and just loves the money and expensive things he buys her, and they have 2 kids. The other boss I think is the same, but is better at hiding it and his wife just does anything his says and doesn't question anything. She likes the money too!!

Our relationship was great before this job. Of course we had our issues, but very healthly. After about a year of this job, is when it all started going down hill. He was spending more time at the office, on the phone till late with the bosses, going on trips, and moving quickly up the ladder. The time that he came back from his trip looking depressed, remorseful, and suicidal is when I believe it all began. There are still times when he comes back from certain trips that he gets upset if I am distant after discovering that his underwear is full of stuff. Therefore, I can see that he doesn't want to hurt me and feels guilty for his actions. However, it does not stop and now I feel in my heart that he may actually enjoy it.

His bosses are so far up their own a****, rolling in their millions (that my hubby helped to create), and think that they are smarter than anyone. Obviously, my hubby wants a piece of the pie that he helped create and I believe will stop at nothing to get it. Meanwhile, I am here wanting our marriage to be normal again and he wants his cake and eat it too. Thus, I will not let these SOBs get away with ruining our marriage for their own personal satisfaction and wealth. That's why I want so badly to catch them in the act and bring them down as well......

If he is saying he is suicidal he may be torn bewtween what he may have to let go in order to be "normal" again but be careful because if someone says that, it is serious...- There are so many ways people get caught up in that type deal... justifying it by saying he is doing this for his family or trying to give the family a great life but people get caught up in titles and the whats going on in loop crowd like they are a nobody if they dont have direct contact with the big bosses - :rolleyes: - its sad but it happens so much-

And be careful with talking about catching people like that in the act-- when people like that have their "LIVELIHOOD" threatened, there are no boundaries on keeping their secret a secret-
 

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Thank you for your comment shaylady! I know in my heart that this is the case with my husband. The one boss has gay tendencies, is married to a wife who is so nieve and just loves the money and expensive things he buys her, and they have 2 kids. The other boss I think is the same, but is better at hiding it and his wife just does anything his says and doesn't question anything. She likes the money too!!

Our relationship was great before this job. Of course we had our issues, but very healthly. After about a year of this job, is when it all started going down hill. He was spending more time at the office, on the phone till late with the bosses, going on trips, and moving quickly up the ladder. The time that he came back from his trip looking depressed, remorseful, and suicidal is when I believe it all began. There are still times when he comes back from certain trips that he gets upset if I am distant after discovering that his underwear is full of stuff. Therefore, I can see that he doesn't want to hurt me and feels guilty for his actions. However, it does not stop and now I feel in my heart that he may actually enjoy it.

His bosses are so far up their own a****, rolling in their millions (that my hubby helped to create), and think that they are smarter than anyone. Obviously, my hubby wants a piece of the pie that he helped create and I believe will stop at nothing to get it. Meanwhile, I am here wanting our marriage to be normal again and he wants his cake and eat it too. Thus, I will not let these SOBs get away with ruining our marriage for their own personal satisfaction and wealth. That's why I want so badly to catch them in the act and bring them down as well......
Pink, I feel badly for you. As I've read your additional posts, it sounds to me like your husband has been sexually harassed and victimized.

As a man, it's very hard to acknowledge something like that. Men who believe they are supposed to be strong, and be good providers, are especially vulnerable to situations like what Natural Heart described.

Let's look at it from his shoes for a minute. He's feeling good about his job prospects. His new bosses are promising him the world and he feels happy at the idea of giving his family everything they could want or need.

He's honored when they invite him on executive trips. UNTIL.... he's placed in a position where he is forced to submit to their sexual whims or get fired. They might have manipulated to do something illegal, with or without his knowledge, to secure their own safety and privacy. If he doesn't comply with what they want, he has more at risk than just his job. In a worst case scenario, he could be in a situation that could land him in prison if he's done something he shouldn't have.

When he gets home from that trip, he's confused, overwhelmed, and feels weak and hopeless. He considers suicide because he doesn't know what else to do, even though he has a loving wife and is making good money. But he's NOT a weak guy. He finds a reason to keep living, which means that he has to rationalize and deny the horror of what's happening to him. Over time, he might even learn to find some pleasure in it, as most sexual abuse victims do.

But then his wife starts noticing changes. She starts digging for information and keeps getting closer to the truth. At first, he might have wanted to open up to her, but how does a guy do that without looking weak and pathetic? He doesn't know, so he sticks with denial. Before long, her concern and focused attention on the whole matter starts making him feel attacked by her. She no longer seems like a support, but has turned into someone else who victimizes him.

I couldn't tell you if this is your husband's situation or not, though your statement about him feeling suicidal seems to give this a ring of truth. If it *is* true, then you immediately need to STOP letting him know that you're digging, STOP trying to confront him, and STOP blaming him.

Instead, you need to get back to supporting him. Let him know that while he's a great provider, his happiness is far more important to you. Find articles once in a while on male exploitation and tell him what you "stumbled upon," how you feel angry when you hear about men or women being treated that way, and ask his opinion. Over time, if he comes to see you as someone who will not judge the victim, he may open up to you. Then again, he might not ever. The sense of shame that happens with sexual victimization is tremendous and some people can never find a way to cope with it.
 

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And be careful with talking about catching people like that in the act-- when people like that have their "LIVELIHOOD" threatened, there are no boundaries on keeping their secret a secret- [/COLOR][/FONT][/QUOTE]


I know as I have tought about this far too many times. But I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place. I feel deeply betrayed by my husband and these men. I know my husband wants to provide for our family, but at what cost?? I honor my dignity too much to just walk away from this marriage without seeing the truth for myself. However, it does scare me to know what could happen if I did expose their lifestyle.

Years ago, I felt like I was a part of the movie The Firm and The Devils Advocate. At times feeling like I was being watched, followed, and listened too at home. Strange occurances that I could not explain. So I backed off some for awhile and it seemed to go away. These guys and my hubby are very intellegent men and know what they are doing and will stop at nothing to keep their secrets just that.

Frustrated and sick to my stomach......
 

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You are not crazy for thinking this way. I think you have enough here to make a decision. The fishing trips are ridiculous. The sharing beds is ridiculous. The anal stains are ridiculous. The smell of latex is ridiculous. It's all ridiculous. The timing of all of these things is not coincidental. Your woman's intuition tells you all you need to know.

Set some boundaries for the sake of your sanity and the sake of your marriage. Enough is enough with his behavior. Read back through your own posts in this thread. The answers couldn't be more clear. YOU are not getting what YOU need out of this marriage. That needs to change for you to stay.

I also agree that you need to have PI follow this guy on one of his fishing trips. Yes, it will be expensive, but hire a PI in the area where they go so you can finally get the answer here.
Good advice here. I've gone on trips w/ 3 other girl friends and have shared rooms and if there are 2 in a room w 2 doubles no big deal but that's usually to conserve $ and these guys are well off? All the well-off men I know wouldn't share a room.

But regardless you aren't happy and suspect he's cheating. He has conversations outside. I would suggest a VAR in his car to record his half of any conversations there and if you have a garage, maybe in there if he tends to talk out there? Or a porch? Surely it rains some time and he's not pacing the driveway so has to talk privately elsewhere.
 

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And be careful with talking about catching people like that in the act-- when people like that have their "LIVELIHOOD" threatened, there are no boundaries on keeping their secret a secret- [/COLOR][/FONT]

I know as I have tought about this far too many times. But I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place. I feel deeply betrayed by my husband and these men. I know my husband wants to provide for our family, but at what cost?? I honor my dignity too much to just walk away from this marriage without seeing the truth for myself. However, it does scare me to know what could happen if I did expose their lifestyle.

Years ago, I felt like I was a part of the movie The Firm and The Devils Advocate. At times feeling like I was being watched, followed, and listened too at home. Strange occurances that I could not explain. So I backed off some for awhile and it seemed to go away. These guys and my hubby are very intellegent men and know what they are doing and will stop at nothing to keep their secrets just that.

Frustrated and sick to my stomach......[/QUOTE]


I know and I'm sorry and i definitely felt like I was reading a novel or movie and i watch a lot of those investigation stories to know that people will do anything to keep secrets. You are saying you want to save your marriage and expose these men but you will have to expose hubby as well.

It wont come out as your hubby being a grown man was forced to go on these trips and have these sexcapades with the top dogs of his company. You may find out some things that may make you want to take your child and completely walk away from him . So just be careful and be very open to his role and his actions as well. Just focus on you and him and whatever serious suspicions you have; you address with him first.
 
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