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Discussion Starter #1
Well Im a 35 year old man with a girlfriend who is 38. My girlfriend has an extremely possessive female friend who is 50. Her older female friend would offer to babysit my girfriend's little boy so me and my girl could go on a date, however my girlfriend's would only watch the kid if my girlfriend paid her and if my girlfriend spent the night at her house. Not to mention, the money she requested from my friend was unreasonably high for one hour or two hours of babysitting. However, when I did go out on dates with my girlfriend, her female friend would begin to call and text constantly after one or two hours of being on a date,telling my girlfriend to come back to her house now. Every time my girlfriend would tell me she had to go immediately. I know some of you may be thinking its because of the kid, but there's been times the female friend wasnt watching the kid, and my girlfriend left immediately after her friend began calling and texting over and over. She wouldn't stop and at times my girlfriend's female friend's teenage daughter would even begin calling and texting like crazy. I believe the mother put her up to it. My girlfriend's female friend would always wanted my girl to come over and drink till they got drunk. Not to mention, my girl barely drinks and weighs 120 and her female friend weighs 200 and is a borderline alcoholic who has an evidently heavier tolerance to alcohol. While my girl would be at her house my girl wouldn't pick up her phone at past 12 am, and I know she wasn't sleeping, because she told me she and her friend were drinking. She told me her friend would tell her to not pick up or text me, because it’s their time to be together.

To me her friend has very manly characteristic, and not to mention her friend has been in a 20 year marriage with a gay male who my girlfriends’ female friend doesn't have sex with. My girlfriend's friend and her gay husband adopted two girls. My girl's female friend used to try to demand my girl do stuff she desired of my girl.My girl would have to somewhat babysit her kids at a lake, take them shopping, take her lesbian daughter to her female friend's house, and do all she desired of my girl. My girl's friend even used to get her 14 year old daughter to call and text my girl like crazy when we were on dates. My girl doesnt think the mother put the 14 year old to calling and texting like crazy on our dates, but I do because she uses the same tone as her 50 year old mom. I remember once my girl told the 14 year old, " I am on a date with my boyfriend", and the 14 year old responded, " So? I want you to come to my house now". This is before we actually saw the movie. I felt all our time was on a timetable...
I remember once me and my girlfriend were at a lake just talking and hugging. My girl's friend suddenly came to the lake with a highly high and drunk woman talking about they came there to see if we were having sex. It was made known to me and my girl they were looking inside my parked car to see if we are having sex. As soon as they left the lake, and left me and my girl together alone. My girls friend began texting and calling like crazy again. She was telling my girl to get off the date and come hang out with her instead. Soon after my girl was at her house and after 12 am or so she didn't pick up her phone as usual. My girls friend used to constantly ask my girl where’s she at, is she coming to her house, or ask her if she’s with me. Once my girl told me " My female friend said I could see you for 30 minutes today".I was allowed to see her in a Walmart/Subway shopping center's parking lot. Not to mention, that 30 minutes was cut short by her friend texting her to get off the date.

Now when me and my girl first had sex, her friend called right after our act and tried to hold an hour conversation with my girl and requesting my girl leaves my house and come spend the weekend at her house. Her friend never even allowed me to come to her house. Finally, my girl has stopped letting her friend control her life, how long our dates are, and our relationship. My girls female friend is trying so hard to make my girl feel bad for not spending time with her anymore and not allowing her to have that power to control her life, her dating life, and how much time she spends with me However, my girls friend is kind of like a friend of my girl's family. I feel my girl's friend may be using that as a way to ruin my relationship by telling her family all sorts of evils, like "she stopped being my friend because of him". I'm looking to settle down at 35. I don't want to waste time with women who are going to put me through a hellish marriage. Just imagine if her friend controlled our married life. To this day, her friend is trying to regain that control over her slowly. I fear my feelings may grow even more for my girl. I don't want to be wasting time with a woman who may not be honest with her sexuality or has a friend control her every move. I feel as a woman who is 3 years my senior, she should of never given a so called stricly platonic friend of the same gender that much control over her.

i do believe her friend is a lesbian trying hard to make my girl emotionally attached to her ... What do you all think ? I will never feel comfortable with their friendship. In my mind she has crossed the line of being a platonic friend.
 

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It happens. One of my friends had a gay friend who was crushing on her and would actively c0ckblock anyone she dated. She ignored it for a long time but that didn't solve the issue. Your GF needs to stand up for herself and not be controlled.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Assuming this is actually on the level, Here's the breakdown for you:

You are a passive Delta/Gamma male.

Your GF is a submissive bisexual. No biggy. Most women are sexually into other women at some point or another.

Your GF's toxic friend (TF) is a dominant bull dyke lesbian who has got it on with your GF many times. Your GF has probably been, uh, under the older daughter as well.

Does that answer the question adequately?
I have felt the same way about her. I do love her, but i am not looking for a relationship with a bisexual person at this moment
 

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Are they "friends" or are they casual or ex lovers??? Your GF is old enough to know the attention from her friend is a bit extreme. Bring this to her attention and let her know how you feel. If she values her friendship more then you, I would just find another girl. If she values you more then her friendship, I would suggest you discuss some boundaries in the relationship about her obsessive friend.

Answering the phone during a date is a clear sign she is not that in to you, But the friend can convince her not to answer your calls. How long have you been together?
 

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From a woman's point of view:

I'm looking to settle down at 35. I don't want to waste time with women who are going to put me through a hellish marriage.
You ARE wasting time on a woman who's not that into you. As for the hellish marriage, you're not even convinced she's straight! Do not spend ANOTHER WEEK on this worthless relationship. There are PLENTY of women out there who are TOTALLY STRAIGHT (not slamming bi/gay, but that *is* what straight men looking to get married want), looking for a good guy, looking to marry and start a family. FIND ONE OF THOSE WOMEN.

If you learn to be man enough, you can make her yours. It could be fun. Go here and let Roissy educate you about the real facts of life. Just start reading. You need to do this whether or not you stay with her. You're way too gamma. Also see your Dr. about testosterone supplementation.
I have been to that website and read that stuff; it is UTTER CR*P IF you are SERIOUSLY looking for a long-term, successful, marriage relationship! I'm a woman and I'm telling you, the advice on that website may work on bimbettes and women with low self-esteem, or it may work to get you laid (plenty of one-night stands). BUT, if you want a mature, honest, dependable WOMAN (not a flighty piece-of-azz) to meet, marry and raise children with, then STAY AWAY (far away) FROM THE ADVICE ON THAT WEBSITE. You will NEVER get a quality woman OR a quality relationship by playing the kind of infantile games they suggest on that website.

...my free advice, do with it as you will!
 

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It happens. One of my friends had a gay friend who was crushing on her and would actively c0ckblock anyone she dated. She ignored it for a long time but that didn't solve the issue. Your GF needs to stand up for herself and not be controlled.
:iagree:

Posted via Mobile Device
 

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From a woman's point of view:

You ARE wasting time on a woman who's not that into you. As for the hellish marriage, you're not even convinced she's straight! Do not spend ANOTHER WEEK on this worthless relationship. There are PLENTY of women out there who are TOTALLY STRAIGHT (not slamming bi/gay, but that *is* what straight men looking to get married want), looking for a good guy, looking to marry and start a family. FIND ONE OF THOSE WOMEN.

I have been to that website and read that stuff; it is UTTER CR*P IF you are SERIOUSLY looking for a long-term, successful, marriage relationship! I'm a woman and I'm telling you, the advice on that website may work on bimbettes and women with low self-esteem, or it may work to get you laid (plenty of one-night stands). BUT, if you want a mature, honest, dependable WOMAN (not a flighty piece-of-azz) to meet, marry and raise children with, then STAY AWAY (far away) FROM THE ADVICE ON THAT WEBSITE. You will NEVER get a quality woman OR a quality relationship by playing the kind of infantile games they suggest on that website.

...my free advice, do with it as you will!
Yea they all say they want "nice" guys, but rarely does it play out like that in real life.
 

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Your GF is letting her friend and the friends daughter intrude into her relationship with you in totally unacceptable and inappropriate ways.

The only way to handle this is each and everytime it happens to call her out on it. I don't mean yell, or fight I mean call her out. For example:

You're on a date - GF gets a text from friend.. you say "We're on a date together. Don't be texting with people, or reading their texts. If they won't take the hint and stop then turn off the phone."

If your gf won't - then honeslty dump her. Think about it - she ignores your calls/texts when with the friend , because the friend tells her to choose her over you.

Yet, she won't turn off the friend when she is with you.

As for the baby sitting - get another babysitter. The friend is useless at the job.

So it's not if she's lesbian or not - it's that your GF is letting this other person intrude and ruin her relationship with you.

Your GF is going to continue letting her do it because so far you've allowed it as well. You need to start informing your GF this isn't OK, and it is going to cause a break in the relationship.
 

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Yea they all say they want "nice" guys, but rarely does it play out like that in real life.
I love you guys, but REALLY....didn't we JUST HAVE a whole spout-off about stereotyping and generalizations earlier this week on ANOTHER thread?

I agree, that SOME women (usually young) choose the 'hot' d-bag guy OVER the less-attractive more reliable guy. Yep, it happens. And then HOPEFULLY we all GROW UP and realize there's more to life than a 'pretty face and a cute azz' (on either gender).

This man is 35yo, I think he can find PLENTY of WOMEN in their 30's/early 40's who are looking for a SERIOUS, stable, long-lasting, marriage-material relationship. And these women have (for the most part, but certainly not ALL of them) outgrown their 'infatuated with bad boy' phase.
 

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I love you guys, but REALLY....didn't we JUST HAVE a whole spout-off about stereotyping and generalizations earlier this week on ANOTHER thread?

I agree, that SOME women (usually young) choose the 'hot' d-bag guy OVER the less-attractive more reliable guy. Yep, it happens. And then HOPEFULLY we all GROW UP and realize there's more to life than a 'pretty face and a cute azz' (on either gender).

This man is 35yo, I think he can find PLENTY of WOMEN in their 30's/early 40's who are looking for a SERIOUS, stable, long-lasting, marriage-material relationship. And these women have (for the most part, but certainly not ALL of them) outgrown their 'infatuated with bad boy' phase.
It's the 80-20 rule, and no it doesn't go away just because women get older. They come out of 20 year marriages at age 45 and they are still just as susceptible to face, physique, stance, status, relative youth, a$$holery, as they ever were. Maybe even more so, since they realize after a while that they aren't going to be remarrying and they're happier being a member of a high rank male's rotation than being the one and only for a schlub.
 

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since they realize after a while that they aren't going to be remarrying and they're happier being a member of a high rank male's rotation than being the one and only for a schlub.
I don't know WHERE you meet these 'women,' but I SERIOUSLY suggest that you QUIT DRINKING THE KOOL-AID!
 

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I don't know WHERE you meet these 'women,' but I SERIOUSLY suggest that you QUIT DRINKING THE KOOL-AID!
I don't drink the kool aid, which is why I can see things as they are. As to where I meet these women, I'm a trainer. These women come from all walks of life and income levels. But they're all still women trying to attract higher quality men (they think) than the one's they're divorcing.
 

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I think the 50 yr old lady has something on your GF and is blackmailing your GF for sexual favors and money.

But thats just me.

Most liking your chick is bi and digs the old bags attention, while stashing money away for her exit plan.
 

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Discussion Starter #19
From a woman's point of view:

You ARE wasting time on a woman who's not that into you. As for the hellish marriage, you're not even convinced she's straight! Do not spend ANOTHER WEEK on this worthless relationship. There are PLENTY of women out there who are TOTALLY STRAIGHT (not slamming bi/gay, but that *is* what straight men looking to get married want), looking for a good guy, looking to marry and start a family. FIND ONE OF THOSE WOMEN.

I have been to that website and read that stuff; it is UTTER CR*P IF you are SERIOUSLY looking for a long-term, successful, marriage relationship! I'm a woman and I'm telling you, the advice on that website may work on bimbettes and women with low self-esteem, or it may work to get you laid (plenty of one-night stands). BUT, if you want a mature, honest, dependable WOMAN (not a flighty piece-of-azz) to meet, marry and raise children with, then STAY AWAY (far away) FROM THE ADVICE ON THAT WEBSITE. You will NEVER get a quality woman OR a quality relationship by playing the kind of infantile games they suggest on that website.

...my free advice, do with it as you will!
she claims shes avoiding her friend, but I just notice her friend has been calling her phone at 1am yesterday on Saturday.
plus on her phone records it showed they spoke today.
this friend seems to want my girl to do the mommy role stuff for her friends kids like take them to school meetings.
her friend doesn't work n her friends kids are constantly begging my girl for some form of allowance. I don't feel comfortable with her friendship. she gave her friend the green light to constantly call her, by telling her friend id never miss a call from you
actually it went near verbatim like this " I will never miss a call another call from you again. .. love you" and the friend responded " I love u too"
I could understand a long time female friends from childhood having brotherly ot sisterly love for each other, but my girl says they've only been friends for three months. I work a lot during the week, just in two days I covered 23 hours of work, so around 10pm when I get off is our quality time, and her friend knows this, but yet at 1am I notice her friend kept calling her phone, its usually about my girl coming to her home. infact last week her friend asked my girl to babysit her teenage daughters and said shed be back before I get off at 10pm . the reason was she was going to a party. what party that includes heavy drinking ends before 10pm ? I'm not saying it doesn't exist, but not very likely. that's her attempt to ruin our time together. ive never dated a woman who has a friend that is so demanding of her time, and my girl gets mad at me because I keep talking about it.
I'm sure if my girl were to be married, her friend would try to ruin her marriage by being demanding of her time. I'm I being weird but would many men allow it? my ex just got out of a marriage where she said here ex husband drunk and placed friend time above family, but now it seems this is what she will do.
 

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Discussion Starter #20
Are they "friends" or are they casual or ex lovers??? Your GF is old enough to know the attention from her friend is a bit extreme. Bring this to her attention and let her know how you feel. If she values her friendship more then you, I would just find another girl. If she values you more then her friendship, I would suggest you discuss some boundaries in the relationship about her obsessive friend.

Answering the phone during a date is a clear sign she is not that in to you, But the friend can convince her not to answer your calls. How long have you been together?
we've been together for about 3 to 4 months. Basically a bit shorter then when she began hanging out with this older woman. she gave the older woman the green light to call and be extremely demanding by telling the older woman, " I will never miss another call from you ... I love you " and the older lady said " i love you too " and that's very near to verbatim.
I felt it was gay considering my girl says they haven't been friends for long
I could understand having love for an old friend that your close to as a brother or sister, but she always says she barely knows this woman. this woman is a family friend that she hasn't ever been close too.
my friends friend is in a 20 year marriage with a gay man. nothing wrong with gays but what straight woman would be married to a man that is gay and gives them no sex, unless their not looking for sex from a man.
see the older friend is southern and probably from a conservative southern family who may reject her if she said straight, " I'm gay" .

so her and her husband took the understanding, we act married, but we do our own thing. that's the only logical reason, they adopted kids rather then trying to have their own. one kid is 15 and a lesbian and the other is 14 and already hyper sexually minded.
my girlfriend slept at her house religiously when we began dating. I asked her verbatim " what 38 year old and 50 year old women slumber party so much? "
she uses the excuse of her past living situation, but shes been over there sleeping since having better living conditions.
I never asked a woman to terminate her friendship, and I feel bad about it, but I cant focus and feel secure in their friendship because of what has occurred. my girl has another friend, but that other friend is more worried about her own relationship and never is obsessive with my girl. I don't think I can remain in a relationship like this, and when I talk to her about it, she calls me " homophobic, an idiot, retarded, and demeaning hurtful things" . ive tried to break my back helping my girl because of I love her so much, and my cultural tradition is a man should be there for a woman. I'm not talking about financial help but other forms of help. please give advice
 
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