Hi all, and thanks in advance to any who respond.
Brief story. A few years ago, my wife told me in passing, in front of another one of her friends, that while out at a club with some friends, she made out with another woman. She doesn't think it's a big deal, and she still doesn't....mainly because it was with another woman. Yet she waited 3 years after the fact to tell me.
I told her I thought that was cheating as to me, being intimate with any other person beside your spouse is my definition of cheating. This other woman, who is married, had her husband there. This couple is involved in the swinger lifestyle. Due to my work schedule I was not able to go out with them...but I don't like that kind of lifestyle and don't like those people because they are obviously sexually loose so to speak.
After that incident and before she told me about it, she would still go out with them. She kept insisting it was a stupid drunken decision but that nothing more happened. I can't help but question that-a lot. If its just a kiss why wait to tell me? Why hang out with those people after you did something like that? Why still see them occasionally after you told me? Am I reading into this too far or did something more than kissing happen, but she tells me only a little bit so that some guilt is assuaged?
I asked her how she would feel if I made out with another girl and she said its not the same thing, because she didn't make out with another guy. I told her it absolutely was because I am not attracted to men...she still doesn't get it though.
This was also during a period of sexual intimacy problems...my night shift work schedule led us to lead almost separate lives.
When she would get ready to go out, whether with them or not, she would shave her legs, her va****, etc...which I also thought odd. She told me it was just part of her getting ready and that she always shaved everything whenever she shaved.
Since then, we are both in a much better place in our relationship. We've learned how to communicate openly and how to not hide our feelings. Weve come really far. But am I being irrational in thinking something more than a kiss happened, or are my fears grounded in reality that I don't want too see?
Any input would be greatly appreciated, and I'll be glad to provide any more information.
Thanks.
Brief story. A few years ago, my wife told me in passing, in front of another one of her friends, that while out at a club with some friends, she made out with another woman. She doesn't think it's a big deal, and she still doesn't....mainly because it was with another woman. Yet she waited 3 years after the fact to tell me.
I told her I thought that was cheating as to me, being intimate with any other person beside your spouse is my definition of cheating. This other woman, who is married, had her husband there. This couple is involved in the swinger lifestyle. Due to my work schedule I was not able to go out with them...but I don't like that kind of lifestyle and don't like those people because they are obviously sexually loose so to speak.
After that incident and before she told me about it, she would still go out with them. She kept insisting it was a stupid drunken decision but that nothing more happened. I can't help but question that-a lot. If its just a kiss why wait to tell me? Why hang out with those people after you did something like that? Why still see them occasionally after you told me? Am I reading into this too far or did something more than kissing happen, but she tells me only a little bit so that some guilt is assuaged?
I asked her how she would feel if I made out with another girl and she said its not the same thing, because she didn't make out with another guy. I told her it absolutely was because I am not attracted to men...she still doesn't get it though.
This was also during a period of sexual intimacy problems...my night shift work schedule led us to lead almost separate lives.
When she would get ready to go out, whether with them or not, she would shave her legs, her va****, etc...which I also thought odd. She told me it was just part of her getting ready and that she always shaved everything whenever she shaved.
Since then, we are both in a much better place in our relationship. We've learned how to communicate openly and how to not hide our feelings. Weve come really far. But am I being irrational in thinking something more than a kiss happened, or are my fears grounded in reality that I don't want too see?
Any input would be greatly appreciated, and I'll be glad to provide any more information.
Thanks.
)
