New dilemma. I hate when I hear about lop-sided marriages and Im not sure if thats the turn mine is going to take. I've been recently discussing things I want equal the marriage with my wife. It seems like she is either selfish to the fact or she is just not getting it. Ive posted about couples benefitting from a "no turn down" policy for sex unless its something extreme. I have one, my wife doesn't and she says can't promise that she ever will have one. Then she says if I remove mine and one day she initiates sex, she will shutdown for who knows how long when I initiate it. Mind you the times she has, Ive NEVER turned her down. So when I say equality Im telling her she should either honor my policy and maintain one too or I remove mine so that we make it an even playing. Somehow it becomes a catch 22, we both can't win and it angers me. Im sure there are situations but isn't it logical to have equality in a marriage. If my needs aren't being and I continue to meets your in hope that you will change to start meeting my needs, why should I continue to meet hers? Let me guess, "lead by example". Well follow my lead then!