[Linguist]

How valuable is it for you to spend time with your X so your kid/s can see their parents together?

This was important to me at first but considering how ridiculous my stbxw is and how deceptive, manipulative, untrustworthy she is, I'm struggling to see the benefit. We don't fight in front of our child, and outside holidays or special occasions I really have no interest in her at all. I'm not attracted to her physically and emotionally it's like dealing with a petulant teenager

So long as there isn't any tension, I'm still putting my child first. I'm the only one who finds value in this though, so it's only when I have my child it occurs but my stbxw is important to my child so I still feel it has value

 

[BigMac]

180 suggest not to !

 

[Staying Strong]

Hi Linguist, I am separated right now, and I thought this would be a good idea. Unfortunately, it just started to give my husband and child false hope that we would get back together, etc. He also still argued with me in front of our son, so it wasn't very good to continue with that.

You obviously don't want to spend any time with your ex, and I am sure your child will pick up on that when you're all together. Face it, you can tell when someone wants to be somewhere or if they're only there because they feel like they have to.

I would recommend putting up a "united front" at his basketball games, school functions, etc. That may mean sitting near your ex, etc., and then maybe out to eat pizza quickly afterwards, but not actually going off to the zoo together for a full day.

Kudos for not fighting in front of the child. I was a child of divorce, and I can say neither one of my parents said one negative thing to me about the other. I grew up in a fairly good divorced environment, and I think that's important, more than anything.