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Is it okay to be at a bar at all hours of the night when married?

  • Yes

    Votes: 3 9.1%
  • No

    Votes: 30 90.9%
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Just curious what others think. I say no. I'm okay with a girls night out every now and then but staying out to 3,4 and 5am is not okay.
 

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It all depends. If its something that happens once a year then I wouldn't have a problem with it. My wife rarely if ever goes out, if she does and doesn't come home till 4 I trust her. If it was every Friday and Saturday night thing than yes I would have a real problem with it.
 
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It all depends. If its something that happens once a year then I wouldn't have a problem with it. My wife rarely if ever goes out, if she does and doesn't come home till 4 I trust her. If it was every Friday and Saturday night thing than yes I would have a real problem with it.
Good point ... I agree.
 

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I am assuming you mean, without your spouse.

My vote is for hell no. There really isn't any circumstance I can think of where I'd be ok with it, ever.
 

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This is one of those "it depends" situations.

I have 7 siblings who live all over the country. When we get together in one city we all will sometimes end up in a bar (lounge, whatever you want to call it) and spend the whole night up talking and drinking. We don't get drunk so it's light drinking. There is no harm in this at all.

I also have a girl friend who I go out with and sometimes we stay out late like that just talking.

Just because a person goes to a place called a 'bar' does not mean that they are there to pick up on people.
 

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Agree, it depends. As richie33 said, if it was something that happened once or twice a year, then no, I wouldn't have a problem if my SO did that.

Depends on the occasion, what they're doing, and how often it happens.
 

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I agreed with richie33 above about the one night a year not worrying about it but I neglected to mention my wife doesn't drink, never has, and it's doubtful she's ever even been in a bar.

If she were to go out with the girls for something like that then yeah, even once would be a problem.

But if she were at a female friends house (playing board games, whatever) I'd let it slide if she came home that late as long as it was a rare event and she called to let me know what was happening and that she was all right.

For those whose wives would be out at a bar until 3,4,5 am yeah, that'd be a HUGE problem.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
If your spouse has an issue with it and you still do it its a problem. And yes a girls night out every once in a while is fine. But dressing up and going clubbing till 4am is not okay to me. Just one of those things you dont do when married. And i dont think guys should do it either. Nor be at a strip club
 

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I trust my wife 100%. If her and her sister want to go out and have a night out and they come home at 4 no problem. She almost never does this. If there was some kind of history of cheating in marriage then I would have a different opinion.
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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Re: Re: Is it okay to be at a bar all hours of the night when married?

I trust my wife 100%. If her and her sister want to go out and have a night out and they come home at 4 no problem. She almost never does this. If there was some kind of history of cheating in marriage then I would have a different opinion.
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She almost never does this is the key. And there is nothing wrong with it then. But if it happened regularly it might be a problem
 

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There is NO good reason I can come up with that would allow for a MARRIED woman or man to be out that late in that environment. MARRIED people gave up the right to act single when they got married, period. If you want to be out that late, then go with your spouse.

A GNO (read girls or GUYS night out) should NEVER be that late. The old saying "Nothing good ever happens after midnight" comes to mind here.

A bar is a place where the infidelity triangle comes together. That triangle is opportunity, capability, and intent. Put those factors together and the probability of something bad happening goes up exponentially. Again, nothing good comes out of being drunk, grinding on the opposite sex, and getting "hit on" whether you be a man or a woman.

Then there are the security issues of being out that late. Rape, kidnapping, and murder come to mind. Those hours of the night are when these events are likely to happen. Is that GNO worth your life? Think it doesn't happen or won't happen to you? PM me, I have HUNDREDS of stories from the military where that happens ALL THE TIME, EVERY WEEKEND.

If the GNO is a dinner and a movie type thing or a "sleep over" at a TRUSTED friend of the marriage then it can work. In by 10 PM.

This debate comes up on this site rather frequently. The two sides of the debate seem to be those that blindly trust their spouse and then there are those who know the GNO in the context described by the OP is wrong. The "blind trust" group tend to populate the "Coping with Infidelity" section more frequently. Just saying...
 

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Not to put a wrench in the works, Married in VA, but - there are hundreds of rapes going on against female soldiers all the time anyways. They don't have to going out on a GNO for that to happen. Or were you talking about soldier's civilian wives?

I think it all depends on the environment and yes "bar" can mean different things. Do you mean some skeevy hole in the wall full of old drunks? Or - some hopping club for sexy young things? Or - going to Buffalo Wild Wings? Me and my best friend made it to last call at a Cheesecake Factory once (it was like 11 PM), and I guess that technically had a bar.

I've gone out without my husband until after midnight with a girlfriend exactly once since we got married - because sitting through the Les Miserables movie a second time was so not on his list of things to do. So, like other posters, I'd imagine the frequency of it happening has a lot to do with it.
 

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I can't help but put my 2 cents in here...I am a bartender, I have seen it first hand, I have actually lived it and the answer would be NO! There isn't a chance in Hell I would allow it because there are a lot of underlined issue's that take place and lies that are told and hearts that are broken, families are torn, children are hurt...it's a nightmare! If they'll go out with out you, they'll do more than that without you and what you don't know ...you never will.
 

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My wife has a problem with alcohol. Not alcoholic, but once she starts drinking she does not stop. She will claim that she is "OK, not drunk" right up until the time she falls on her face.She also admits that alcohol lowers her inhibitions and thus her judgement.

So is it OK for my wife to go to a bar without me?

NO, NO, NO, NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. As long as she is married to me that is.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Ill have to make sure my next one and i will be in the same page from the get go.
 
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