Is it Okay for Christians to Masturbate?

12178 Views 166 Replies 41 Participants Last post by TinyTbone, 7 mo ago

352744

Discussion Starter · Dec 18, 2021

I'm pretty new to this site, so apologies if this has been addressed before and I haven't seen it. But I want perspectives from other professing Christians on the topic of masturbation. I'll try not to be too explicit or vulgar 😅.

I have read respected Christian scholars and counselors on the topic of masturbation and they have differing views. One view is thoroughly represented in this post: If Your Right Hand Causes You to Sin: Ten Biblical Reflections on Masturbation

The other view is from Wayne Grudem who believes that masturbation is not always sinful and cautions against making prohibition of it a "rule" since the Bible itself doesn't do that. He thinks adding commands not given in Scripture is a potentially very dangerous idea. He also thinks that a lot of people, young men especially, will reach the point of being so discouraged in their walk with the Lord because of their failure to abstain from masturbation that it will be a serious problem for their faith. That said, Grudem believes that mental images of naked people and accompanying fantasies are sinful based on Jesus's words in Matthew 5:27-30 (v. 28 specifically).

So my situation is that I have a pretty high sex drive but I'm unmarried. I believe in the Bible and that sex outside of marriage between man and wife is unwise and sinful. So I masturbate to relieve sexual tension. The problem is, I agree with both of the views on Christians and masturbation above 😅. Obviously they're in conflict with one another. I admit that lust is something I struggle with as a Christian, but I do try to fight it daily. But as I said I have a high drive and I masturbate almost daily, though without visual aids, just imagination.

So I'm hoping for some clarity and biblically based evaluations of this issue. I doubt we'll conclusively resolve it here but any well-meaning posts are welcome.

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DownByTheRiver

· #2 · Dec 18, 2021

I no longer Christian but I had a Christian upbringing although it wasn't a very strict one, and I certainly remember that premarital sex was frowned upon but I don't remember anything about anyone saying masturbation was off-limits.

I tend to look at it like this. If you're Christian you believe that God was a creator. If he created people to be horny whether they were married or not, then if you really believe he was the architect of man, then that would suggest he doesn't care what you did about that.. I figure if he was really a stickler for no masturbation, the heat of created people to only get horny after they were married and only for their spouse. Which is nowhere close to reality.

Reactions: 1

jonty30

· #3 · Dec 18, 2021

Good Friend said:
I'm pretty new to this site, so apologies if this has been addressed before and I haven't seen it. But I want perspectives from other professing Christians on the topic of masturbation. I'll try not to be too explicit or vulgar 😅.

I have read respected Christian scholars and counselors on the topic of masturbation and they have differing views. One view is thoroughly represented in this post: If Your Right Hand Causes You to Sin: Ten Biblical Reflections on Masturbation

The other view is from Wayne Grudem who believes that masturbation is not always sinful and cautions against making prohibition of it a "rule" since the Bible itself doesn't do that. He thinks adding commands not given in Scripture is a potentially very dangerous idea. He also thinks that a lot of people, young men especially, will reach the point of being so discouraged in their walk with the Lord because of their failure to abstain from masturbation that it will be a serious problem for their faith. That said, Grudem believes that mental images of naked people and accompanying fantasies are sinful based on Jesus's words in Matthew 5:27-30 (v. 28 specifically).

So my situation is that I have a pretty high sex drive but I'm unmarried. I believe in the Bible and that sex outside of marriage between man and wife is unwise and sinful. So I masturbate to relieve sexual tension. The problem is, I agree with both of the views on Christians and masturbation above 😅. Obviously they're in conflict with one another. I admit that lust is something I struggle with as a Christian, but I do try to fight it daily. But as I said I have a high drive and I masturbate almost daily, though without visual aids, just imagination.

So I'm hoping for some clarity and biblically based evaluations of this issue. I doubt we'll conclusively resolve it here but any well-meaning posts are welcome.

Origen, one of the Church Fathers, castrated himself in hopes of laying to rest his thoughts of lust.
He later reported that it didn't work, so even going as far as removing your hormones will not stop it.

God has promised forgiveness everytime you confess your sin, so you can have confidence when you fail to live the best life, you can ask forgiveness and carry on.
I believe that, as long as you do not involve anybody else, like pornography or a female, it's really a non-issue.

Just keep to as many wholesome activities as you can and, when you fail, ask forgiveness and get back to keeping to wholesome activities.
Much of masturbation is really about being disconnected, so one area you need to address is finding ways to becoming more sociable.
Determine the areas that you need to improve on and work on them.
Clubs, interests. The more sociable you can be, the less time and opportunity you have to start focusing on your inadequacies, which drives you to sexual lusts.

Reactions: 2

352744

Discussion Starter · #4 · Dec 18, 2021

DownByTheRiver said:
I no longer Christian but I had a Christian upbringing although it wasn't a very strict one, and I certainly remember that premarital sex was frowned upon but I don't remember anything about anyone saying masturbation was off-limits.

I tend to look at it like this. If you're Christian you believe that God was a creator. If he created people to be horny whether they were married or not, then if you really believe he was the architect of man, then that would suggest he doesn't care what you did about that.. I figure if he was really a stickler for no masturbation, the heat of created people to only get horny after they were married and only for their spouse. Which is nowhere close to reality.

I disagree with the second paragraph... I don't think God creating people suggests he doesn't care what they do with their bodies or hormone-driven desires. But though I disagree I appreciate you taking the time to read my post. Can I ask how long you were a Christian?

Reactions: 2

352744

Discussion Starter · #5 · Dec 18, 2021

jonty30 said:
Origen, one of the Church Fathers, castrated himself in hopes of laying to rest his thoughts of lust.
He later reported that it didn't work, so even going as far as removing your hormones will not stop it.

God has promised forgiveness everytime you confess your sin, so you can have confidence when you fail to live the best life, you can ask forgiveness and carry on.
I believe that, as long as you do not involve anybody else, like pornography or a female, it's really a non-issue.

Just keep to as many wholesome activities as you can and, when you fail, ask forgiveness and get back to keeping to wholesome activities.
Much of masturbation is really about being disconnected, so one area you need to address is finding ways to becoming more sociable.
Clubs, interests. The more sociable you can be, the less time and opportunity you have to start focusing on your inadequacies, which drives you to sexual lusts.

I like your idea of being more sociable. Do you have any suggestions?

Also, I agree with you that involving pornography or other women would definitely be wrong. What do you believe the biblical answer is to mental sexual acts during masturbation? Is that wrong?

jonty30

· #6 · Dec 18, 2021 (Edited)

Good Friend said:
I like your idea of being more sociable. Do you have any suggestions?

Also, I agree with you that involving pornography or other women would definitely be wrong. What do you believe the biblical answer is to mental sexual acts during masturbation? Is that wrong?

What kind of skills do you want to learn?
Do you cook? Do a cooking class.
If you develop interests, you'll have a reason for people to want to associate with you.

Learn to cook.
Learn to present yourself better and more confidently.
Learn your domestic skills, until you're the queen or king of cleaning.
Musical instruments.

There is so much out there to do, instead of wallowing in your basement and focusing on your inadequacies.

DownByTheRiver

· #7 · Dec 18, 2021

Good Friend said:
I disagree with the second paragraph... I don't think God creating people suggests he doesn't care what they do with their bodies or hormone-driven desires. But though I disagree I appreciate you taking the time to read my post. Can I ask how long you were a Christian?

Just growing up until I became an adult. I grew up in a very strict fundamentalist Baptist community but that was not the church I attended, but it was the predominant Church and they owned most of our little suburb and now have a church the size of a huge arena.

352744

Discussion Starter · #8 · Dec 18, 2021

jonty30 said:
What kind of skills do you want to learn?
Do you cook? Do a cooking class.
If you develop interests, you'll have a reason for people to want to associate with you.

Learn to cook.
Learn to present yourself better and more confidently.
Learn your domestic skills, until you're the queen or king of cleaning.
Musical instruments.

There is so much out there to do, instead of wallowing in your basement and focusing on your inadequacies.

I do like art and music. I could learn to develop either my drawing or piano skills.

352744

Discussion Starter · #9 · Dec 18, 2021

DownByTheRiver said:
Just growing up until I became an adult. I grew up in a very strict fundamentalist Baptist community but that was not the church I attended, but it was the predominant Church and they owned most of our little suburb and now have a church the size of a huge arena.

I understand. I hear of a lot of people in that situation growing up.

Reactions: 1

jonty30

· #10 · Dec 18, 2021

Good Friend said:
I do like art and music. I could learn to develop either my drawing or piano skills.

The main thing is to put yourself in a sociable situation as much as you can.

Beach123

· #11 · Dec 18, 2021

So what you want. Stop allowing others to make the rules for you.

The main rule is - cause the least harm to yourself and others.

Don’t live in shame and guilt. Be happy.

Reactions: 3

Young at Heart

· #12 · Dec 18, 2021

Prior to and during puberty, the nuns at the all girls Catholic school taught my future wife that masturbation was a mortal sin any time of year. That is one perspective.

Another perspective is that you have free will. What you are proposing is not a violation of the 10 Commandments. Still, why not skip a holy day. Still you are the one that needs to decide and use the free will you were given. Your posting the question implies you have questions about doing that on a Holy day.

Diana7

· #13 · Dec 18, 2021

We are both Christians and can't see where the Bible says masturbation is wrong. Like anything else it can become an obsession but as long as porn isn't involved I can't see what is wrong.
If you can masturbate without the mental images, just on the physical sensations even better.
Trouble is that people get married so much later today which makes it hard for Christians.

Hopefully you have a good supportive church with Christian friends.

Reactions: 1

Diana7

· #14 · Dec 18, 2021

Young at Heart said:
Prior to and during puberty, the nuns at the all girls Catholic school taught my future wife that masturbation was a mortal sin any time of year. That is one perspective.

Another perspective is that you have free will. What you are proposing is not a violation of the 10 Commandments. Still, why not skip a holy day. Still you are the one that needs to decide and use the free will you were given. Your posting the question implies you have questions about doing that on a Holy day.

The RC does largely teach that. It's not Biblical though.

Reactions: 1

Beach123

· #15 · Dec 18, 2021

It’s hard to take the RC religious guidelines anymore. Many of the men have in power have harmed many many young children, especially boys.
It’s not a believable basis to believe the guidelines they may preach - and not live with those rules as ones they follow themselves.

Use your own conscience.

jonty30

· #16 · Dec 18, 2021

Beach123 said:
It’s hard to take the RC religious guidelines anymore. Many of the men have in power have harmed many many young children, especially boys.
It’s not a believable basis to believe the guidelines they may preach - and not live with those rules as ones they follow themselves.

Use your own conscience.

The RC church is rooted in gnosticism, where we as material beings are are supposed to work towards shedding our material bonds and becoming holy and spiritual. That's not the we are as created beings. WHom we are, as created beings is exactly how we were meant to be.

Diana7

· #17 · Dec 18, 2021

Beach123 said:
It’s hard to take the RC religious guidelines anymore. Many of the men have in power have harmed many many young children, especially boys.
It’s not a believable basis to believe the guidelines they may preach - and not live with those rules as ones they follow themselves.

Use your own conscience.

Best to go by what God says in the Bible rather than what the RC church decides is right or wrong.

Reactions: 2

hamadryad

· #18 · Dec 18, 2021

What type of God would bestow these powerful urges and desires, yet expect you to practically lose your mind because you can't find a woman willing to accommodate? And even if you did find a woman, that might mean(depending on your drive) she would have to basically be available numerous times a day. What if that doesn't work for her? Isn't religion about being kind and respectful?

I've always been high drive but teens and 20's ? Forget it. At least now I have a bit more control then during those times. It was a tool for survival at times.

At the end if the day I guess you have to follow your beliefs and if they forbid it then I really don't know what advice anyone can give. Perhaps what another poster mentioned. Do what you need to do then just confess later. As long as no one else is affected , then perhaps that's the most reasonable compromise. I dunno I wish you well.

Reactions: 1

Mr. Nail

· #19 · Dec 18, 2021

As you have demonstrated, Christians don't agree on masturbation. Obviously there is enough scattered inference in the bible to justify creating a rule. That can be said of many things. Jonty's advice to involve yourself in other things is good and practical. There are many things you can focus your attention on that will make you a more Christ like person. As a Christian you should work towards following his example.

Reactions: 1

Tested_by_stress

· #20 · Dec 18, 2021

Is it ok to masturbate? .......Beats me!

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