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Hello!!’ So weird question ... would it be a red flag if your husband was taking toothbrush, toothpaste and cologne with him to work ? Granted, he’s normally home about the same time everyday. But, he does get an hour lunch. I haven’t heard from him while on those lunches (granted bc I am working and just forget). But is that weird ? I noticed his cologne was gone out of the bathroom so I asked him where it was and all he said was “idk”. The last 2 weeks or so he’s been very quiet and distant until it’s his convenience. I’m seriously thinking about following him or paying someone to do it 🤷‍♀️
 

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Hello!!’ So weird question ... would it be a red flag if your husband was taking toothbrush, toothpaste and cologne with him to work ? Granted, he’s normally home about the same time everyday. But, he does get an hour lunch. I haven’t heard from him while on those lunches (granted bc I am working and just forget). But is that weird ? I noticed his cologne was gone out of the bathroom so I asked him where it was and all he said was “idk”. The last 2 weeks or so he’s been very quiet and distant until it’s his convenience. I’m seriously thinking about following him or paying someone to do it 🤷‍♀️
Cologne would be a red flag. If not for that I would say maybe his teeth are bad.
 

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Hello!!’ So weird question ... would it be a red flag if your husband was taking toothbrush, toothpaste and cologne with him to work ? Granted, he’s normally home about the same time everyday. But, he does get an hour lunch. I haven’t heard from him while on those lunches (granted bc I am working and just forget). But is that weird ? I noticed his cologne was gone out of the bathroom so I asked him where it was and all he said was “idk”. The last 2 weeks or so he’s been very quiet and distant until it’s his convenience. I’m seriously thinking about following him or paying someone to do it 🤷‍♀️
Your gut is telling you something is up, follow your gut. Do not ask him any questions, act normal, eyes wide open mouth shut. When inconsistencies arise, record them somewhere, to keep your thoughts organised as this can be emotionally debilitating.
I would suggest putting a VAR in his car, I assume he uses it for lunch outings?
 

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Your gut is telling you something is up, follow your gut. Do not ask him any questions, act normal, eyes wide open mouth shut. When inconsistencies arise, record them somewhere, to keep your thoughts organised as this can be emotionally debilitating.
I would suggest putting a VAR in his car, I assume he uses it for lunch outings?
It may be nothing more than a colleague making a comment which he has taken as implying that his personal hygiene is inadequate - or it may be more.

I second quietly attempting to ascertain the reality - without alerting him.

Recording is important. Record as soon as you can, a password protected computer file? And if you have a close, dependable friend, talk it through with them. Memory is unreliable - particularly when emotion is involved and the imagination will run riot if not limited. Immediate recording provides a reliable source of recollection and, I found, talking with a trusted friend meant that I had to discard my most extreme imaginings so as not to appear daft when sharing my thoughts and fears.

Unfortunately clandestine in-house relationships are difficult to detect - if they avoid communication outside work a VAR and/or 'phone analytics may not help and a GPS on his car won't show lunchtime journeys if none are made.

As a last resort - Do you know any of his co-workers really well? Usually those they work with are aware/have suspicions. Their loyalty is dubious but................
 

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If it were just the toothpaste and maybe deodorant, I would not be as worried. The cologne is odd. Does he normally put on cologne every day? Seems odd for work.
 

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In his app history, there was an app that was there that was downloaded and deleted, MeetMe, a dating and talking app. No harm right ? Then I noticed it was deleted. So I downloaded it onto his phone again to give him the benefit of the doubt that he hasn’t actually signed up.

Well, he did and had a full profile and all. Nothing said he was married. Nothing said he had kids. It said “away on work looking for someone to talk to and hang out with”. Until I saw his messages where he was messaging other women telling them “beautiful eyes”, “beautiful” and he even had one female message him and tell him to “come f*** me” at 2 in the morning Black Friday.
Considering what you found on his phone last month, you have problems with hair on them!
 

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Thanks for filling out the picture a little more Spicy.

Yup. You've got a runner on your hands. Get a VAR or invest in a PI.

Quickly. Document everything. TELL HIM NOTHING.

Contact a lawyer. Just in case.

Sorry.
 

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The red flag for me is that he answered ''I don't know'' when you asked him where the cologne is. He knows but telling you that he's taking it to work, would be an awkward conversation at the very least.

Brushing teeth at work after lunch isn't a big deal, unless he's never ever done that before.

I don't blame you for your suspicions, I'm not sure what VAR will do if he's taking a woman for example, out for lunch. (Well, I guess he could be driving further away from work to meet someone and yea, that would be a red flag) Maybe also keep track of the credit card statements, or what's being debited from your checking account. If you start seeing lunches that seem more than what one person would have for lunch, then I'd start asking questions.

Don't be silent on this though. He's your husband, and while he's an adult, he should be honest with you.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
Toothbrush and toothpaste is pretty normal but he didn’t do it for a while. He just started doing it again a few weeks ago. But the cologne, NEVER. He doesn’t stink, he’s a mechanic and while it’s winter I know people sweat but they work in a garage where the only heat is space heaters.
 

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Hello!!’ So weird question ... would it be a red flag if your husband was taking toothbrush, toothpaste and cologne with him to work ? Granted, he’s normally home about the same time everyday. But, he does get an hour lunch. I haven’t heard from him while on those lunches (granted bc I am working and just forget). But is that weird ? I noticed his cologne was gone out of the bathroom so I asked him where it was and all he said was “idk”. The last 2 weeks or so he’s been very quiet and distant until it’s his convenience. I’m seriously thinking about following him or paying someone to do it 🤷‍♀️
So his been on MeetMe app just returned from 8 wks now take a toothbrush and his cologne to work he's up to no good, why are you thinking of anything less. I sorry your here but he's up to no good. It's time to take it too the next level of holding him accountable for his infidelity and cake eating thing is how are you going to hold him accountable?
 
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