My husband and I are working through a bad patch, we have gotten along like we did in the beginning (really well) for two weeks, we were talking future again etc..., until today, we were talking and he said we need some goals together (which I have been saying for two years).
Although I say we have been getting along great he has some sort of depression, he can be narcissistic and when he went thru a pot phase and withdrawl we thought he might be bipolar.
Anyhow, I stated many goals I thought we reach together but he cut them all down, for instance I want to move to a bigger place or buy a small house. We are very unhappy in this dark basement suite for two years now ever since he has lived in Canada, however, he says well that would be nice if I though you could keep it clean. Ugggghhhh I am sorry to lay partial blame, but except for dishes maybe once a week he does NOTHING ever, oh...garbage too. Seriously tho, nothing. "I work harder than you can ever imagine" he says, and yes he works with heavy windows, I know its heavy. He figures because I sit in my chair all day at work I should do EVERYTHING, even when he didn't have work at first he said I should have still done everything because I should have known how depressing it was for him, stuck in the house while I was out at work.
My clean house, slim body etc...etc... stopped when him and his depression landed in Canada. We knew eachother for 3 years prior and I flew to see him a few months here and there, but he went from happy on anti-d's, quitting them cold turkey as they can affect your libido, to binge drinking 8-10 times over a few months (remember the Hasselhoff video?) same as that but worse. Then to smoking pot, huge amounts all day long. Well...it is not his fault, but my reaction to this was to eat and I did not clean the house as perfectly anymore as I was rebelling probably.
He takes no responsibility at all and asks what kind of real woman would put on weight with their new husband and how could I expect to keep a nicer home as I have failed here.
I am going to post these stupid arguments from time to time, as I need to hear what others think just for my sanity lol. I used to be very strong and independent, now I am lost in all this crap.
Oh...and once again he says thats it, I am not happy, you can not even think of a goal for the two of us (I thought of 5 but he will not think of any) and of course we are arguing at this point as he has no right to insult me over and over and he (once again) says, thats it, it's over lets just pay off our bills and part friendly (he does not want to move out or out of the bed) and then he says "I would be happy if you met a great guy, I will help you lose weight to meet one, nothing would make me happier" What is with that? Everytime we have the big fights he says this garbage. Such a passive-aggressive/controllling or some kind of verbal abuse.
Would love some feedback, especially from men as I know they do think differently.
Thank you so much!
Although I say we have been getting along great he has some sort of depression, he can be narcissistic and when he went thru a pot phase and withdrawl we thought he might be bipolar.
Anyhow, I stated many goals I thought we reach together but he cut them all down, for instance I want to move to a bigger place or buy a small house. We are very unhappy in this dark basement suite for two years now ever since he has lived in Canada, however, he says well that would be nice if I though you could keep it clean. Ugggghhhh I am sorry to lay partial blame, but except for dishes maybe once a week he does NOTHING ever, oh...garbage too. Seriously tho, nothing. "I work harder than you can ever imagine" he says, and yes he works with heavy windows, I know its heavy. He figures because I sit in my chair all day at work I should do EVERYTHING, even when he didn't have work at first he said I should have still done everything because I should have known how depressing it was for him, stuck in the house while I was out at work.
My clean house, slim body etc...etc... stopped when him and his depression landed in Canada. We knew eachother for 3 years prior and I flew to see him a few months here and there, but he went from happy on anti-d's, quitting them cold turkey as they can affect your libido, to binge drinking 8-10 times over a few months (remember the Hasselhoff video?) same as that but worse. Then to smoking pot, huge amounts all day long. Well...it is not his fault, but my reaction to this was to eat and I did not clean the house as perfectly anymore as I was rebelling probably.
He takes no responsibility at all and asks what kind of real woman would put on weight with their new husband and how could I expect to keep a nicer home as I have failed here.
I am going to post these stupid arguments from time to time, as I need to hear what others think just for my sanity lol. I used to be very strong and independent, now I am lost in all this crap.
Oh...and once again he says thats it, I am not happy, you can not even think of a goal for the two of us (I thought of 5 but he will not think of any) and of course we are arguing at this point as he has no right to insult me over and over and he (once again) says, thats it, it's over lets just pay off our bills and part friendly (he does not want to move out or out of the bed) and then he says "I would be happy if you met a great guy, I will help you lose weight to meet one, nothing would make me happier" What is with that? Everytime we have the big fights he says this garbage. Such a passive-aggressive/controllling or some kind of verbal abuse.
Would love some feedback, especially from men as I know they do think differently.
Thank you so much!