Please be honest, is it just me? I’ve been with my partner just 6 years. We are both divorced and now have a two year old daughter together and have lived together 4 years. Throughout the years I have struggled with her texting other men. In the beginning I caught her talking to men on messenger taking selfies of her anatomy and other sexual things. She couldn’t see the harm in what she was doing but I suggested it may not be good for our relationship so she said she would stop. However, even when baby was born she was still texting him, I never caught her being intimate again but she lied about it and covered it up with a different name on her phone, called him donna. She speaks to other men, her ex husband who she was still having sex with when we first met, and other long term male friends. She never really tells me who she is talking to and accuses me of having issues around being insecure and paranoid. After the rocky start we had I have a right to feel like that. She thinks I’m controlling and trying to dictate who she speaks to. Truth is I haven’t been able to let go of the past. She says she wants to be able to speak to whoever she wants about whatever she wants, I feel there should be some boundaries. She said she is happy for me to speak to whoever I want and doesn’t care about what I discuss. I don’t feel comfortable with any of this. I think there should be boundaries, things that couples keep between themselves but apparently I’m living in the dark ages. She’s probably going to leave me because I’m so insecure and controlling. Up until two years ago she was changing names of males on her phone and lying about the conversations she was having and really couldn’t see anything wrong in what she was doing! It’s no wonder I’m paranoid and anxious. I work 70 hours per week, when I’m at home she spends a lot of time on her phone. She won’t marry me nor barely commit to us. All I want is to feel secure in our relationship and be open and transparent about who she is texting. Yes I think it’s ok if she has a male friend but not several and not to talk about whatever she likes. Her ex husband treats her like **** but she will still protect him if I cause her of texting him. She says it’s none of my business. I’m stuck, I love her but she sees me as controlling and I’m becoming more and more anxious. I know she will leave if she doesn’t get to do what she wants.