PR - if you are serious about fixing yourself this may no longer be the best forum for you to work on yourself. I'll repeat a suggestion I've made before: I think you should tell your story in the Wayward section of survivinginfidelity.com - it focuses on wayward looking to understand their own behavior and finding tools for effective reconciliation. In any case I would take (as you have) Gabriel's post to heart and decide where your commitment is.Mine was minor, but I never compared them or made some sort of, "now we're even" statement. I just said that I felt humiliated. So I didn' t answer it, because I never made the comparison in the first place.
Look, I know how many of you feel, that having an affair proves you don't love your spouse, so there is no right answer to that, so what's the point? I did something awful and I want to make it better, so I'm not going to go on about how hopeless it all is.
I didn't really think there were this many hurt people here with unresolved issues when I posted. That was my mistake and it is a mistake to continue this. I'm really just defending myself against other people's demons. I really have tried to talk about what actually happened and what is happening, but it just gets drowned out by a lot of hurt coming from other places. Infidelity does suck, and I'm sure it sucks more to be on the other side of it. I sincerely hope that everyone here finds some peace in their lives if they haven't been able to find it yet.