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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Is it bad if a husband only wants to do it every other day and you almost always start it ?we use to do it everyday sometimes 3 times a day until i found out when we got in a fight he went to our room to jackoff to a porn he had bought and hid even though we had watched porn together multiple times anyway he threw it out and since then for the last few months he dont come onto me as much and we only have sex every other day sometimes 2 days the longest we have went is 4 days .I try every night but it only gos up every other night it seems , He says hes just nervous or tired idk what do you guys think? I really need male opinions please :scratchhead:
 

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Come on! I'm happy with sex every second day!

Sure I can perform up to 3x a day but not as a regular occurance and nor does it mean that I want 3x a day to become a precedent. Also, whenever I did it 3x a day my wife got p-ssed when it became any less and that's just SERIOUSLY annoying and a headache when her security was tied to how many times I want to fk her. Bah!
 

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I am in my forties and my wife is feeling insecure with our sex life. However, I find I want it every other day. If we are busy and life gets in the way, less.

So it's normal. The not initiating thing is a bit more troubling, but if you are bothering him for sex constantly, why SHOULD he have to initiate it?

Welcome to a man's world...except you seem to be a bit less understanding about 'not being in the mood' than most men are.

Porn should never replace the wife. He's in the wrong there.

I would suggest you get rid of the computer temporarily, and wait for him. See how long it takes him (be ready, willing and able when he does...and make sure you don't try this when Aunt Flo is going to visit in the next week or so)

Let him be the man and let him find his rhythm.
 
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Porn should never replace the wife. He's in the wrong there.
I don't think porn has replaced her and hell I also choke my chicken when my wife and I have a falling out (OP's husband only did it during their fight). My wife and I can't always resolve our conflicts fast enough to trigger make up sex.
 

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I've been with my wifee for 13+ years and we have never had sex more than 3x per week and never more than once either.

I could easily have sex every day and sometimes 3x a day if I'm really in the mood. I'm HD guy.

My wife could have sex 1 - 2 month and sometimes 1x in 1.5 months. She is LD.

Initiating should be whoever is in the mood at that time. Could be the guy or girl, doesn't matter to me.

I think having sex every 2nd day is the best way to go. You get a day of great intimacy and the next day, a break, cuddling and just spending time with your other half. Sex 3 - 4x each week I could do for life. Now I will never say no to sex every day mind you......:D
 

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Is it bad if a husband only wants to do it every other day and you almost always start it ?we use to do it everyday sometimes 3 times a day until i found out when we got in a fight he went to our room to jackoff to a porn he had bought and hid even though we had watched porn together multiple times anyway he threw it out and since then for the last few months he dont come onto me as much and we only have sex every other day sometimes 2 days the longest we have went is 4 days .I try every night but it only gos up every other night it seems , He says hes just nervous or tired idk what do you guys think? I really need male opinions please :scratchhead:
I think that people are missing your point. The real problem you have is not that you only get sex every other day now.

The problem is that you and your husband had a fight which lead you a 50% or more decrease in sex, your husband showing no interest in initiating sex anymore, and his going off and masterbating to porn and making sure you knew about it.

Some negative has happened in your relationship that has him pretty upset.

What was your fight about?
 

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This:
[...] Now I will never say no to sex every day mind you......:D
..and this:
Gee... Where do I begin? I think I'll just keep it simple and not betray my utter shock at this question. Sex every other day with my SO would be my dream come true. Appreciate what you have, so many are not as fortunate.
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Are often the reasons you guys do not get Sex as frequently as in your dreams. You can want it always, no problem! But when your appearance, your approaches and almost all your vibe states "I want it as often as possible from you" -> increased Presure!! -> decrease of interest -> decrease of supply..

Many of you might only see the dark side of this:
I think that people are missing your point. The real problem you have is not that you only get sex every other day now.

The problem is that you and your husband had a fight which lead you a 50% or more decrease in sex, your husband showing no interest in initiating sex anymore, and his going off and masterbating to porn and making sure you knew about it.

Some negative has happened in your relationship that has him pretty upset.

What was your fight about?
..But the truth is that, if you look under the surface you actually see a woman who wants MORE sex AND the reason actually being a husband who wants LESS sex! Yeah, some really believe it is the quarell that is causing less sex, if that were so, then Mrs wife will also be nonreceptive to sex AND the husband would do no porn.

Short: Outwardly displaying less interest in sex (FROM your partner**) CAN increase the desire and desperation for it in your partner.


Caution: When overdone for months, the partner in the victim role can tend to cheat.

_________________-
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I am not saying that guys should do more porn so that their wives want them more! This doesnt work if your wife believes that you are doing porn because you cant get it from her!! IT ONLY works when your wife believes that you can as well once a while do without sex (it doesnt matter whether from her or from porn).

Another mistake men do when they finally successfully archieve the "I dont always need sex from you" is that they become completely sexless - e.g. they do no touching or no teasing anymore.
You have to continue displaying sexual dominance by practicing teasing, dirty talk etc. in order to get more sex. It is the combination and dose of all the above that makes sex frequent!
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Come on! I'm happy with sex every second day!

Sure I can perform up to 3x a day but not as a regular occurance and nor does it mean that I want 3x a day to become a precedent. Also, whenever I did it 3x a day my wife got p-ssed when it became any less and that's just SERIOUSLY annoying and a headache when her security was tied to how many times I want to fk her. Bah!
yea ,i am seeing that to be a problem with me lately it wouldnt be if it wasnt for the porn but it is thank you for the honest post.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I think that people are missing your point. The real problem you have is not that you only get sex every other day now.

The problem is that you and your husband had a fight which lead you a 50% or more decrease in sex, your husband showing no interest in initiating sex anymore, and his going off and masterbating to porn and making sure you knew about it.

Some negative has happened in your relationship that has him pretty upset.

What was your fight about?

Our original fight was about me "thinking " he was watching porn behind my back when he knew he could watch it with me if anything and at the time i almost died 2X from blood loss when i had a csection with our daughter and was dealing with other medical issues and fealt he shouldnt have been thinking about other women but about me and his new daughter.He denied it i still had sex with him everyday until we fought about what i thought he was doing again. He dosent touch the computer so i thought i was wrong.Well we fought about me thinking he was looking at porn and stuff i went to lay on the bed in our babys room which if you open our bedroom door leads right into it (our house is built funny) and acted like i was going to sleep really crying ,our bedroom door dosent have a lock on it so i walked back in our room and he changed the channel but i saw what was on the screen he had dvds of us so i was hoping it was us but it wasnt we fought over the playstation until i got to the porno so for months we have been fighting about that .We are not fighting about it anymore but im still insecure about it and he knows it. Hes 31 and im 22 so i dont know how our sex drives are diffrent but somtimes he says hes getting older and i d k what to think because when he did have the porn wich was the the most of our married life which we have only been married a year , he wanted alot even when the doctor told me not to and we both started it but now a few months later hes saying maybe his sex drive is slowing down. I know people say i should be happy with what i get and iam but i dont want it leading to less and less if we are going to make this marriage work i want us to have a healthy sex life as long as possible i have seen this problem worse then mine is now lead to every wife i know cheating and i want to make sure we never get there
 

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Did you have sex when you were recooperating from your csection...during the time when your doctor told you it was not a good idea?

31 is really too young for a guys sex drive to be slowing down. It sounds more to me like things are not going well in your marriage, plus the stress of a new baby. The fighting over porn is not helping.

You only want him to watch porn when you two do it together. He was telling you that he agreed but was actually watching it behind your back. Is this right?
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Yes we were ,and thats how it was then he agreed to only watch it with me and acted like porn was no big deal to him like he could care less. there is an adult store here we also agreed we would only go to together but he broke that promise to thats where he got the porn we had been fighting over.
 
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