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Send her this in two separate texts:

“Cheaters cheat; that’s what and who you are, and that’s what you do. It is and will forever be your legacy.”

“We’re done. I’m so happy I didn’t marry you. Don’t bother contacting me again.”

And then block her everywhere. Never contact her again. If there’s anything of hers left at your place, pack it up and ship it to her.
 

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I'm asking everyone looking for a different answer. I just can't believe it. Not her. My ex, ok. My girl...just no
Yep.

You got duped. Just read the terrain for what it is and drive accordingly.
 

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It sounds as though you are asking members to give you hope. To come up with some believable scenarios where your girl is really the angel you believe her to be. I'm sorry, but that is not the type of advice that will actually help you.
Exactly.
 
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You want to hear stories that will give you hope this can be fixed. That may happen now and then but a better relationship after reconciliation is difficult to achieve and takes years of work. Repeat, years. Only she knows exactly what happened but my guess is she found someone else and has been trying to decide if he’s worth breaking up with you over — or is he that serious — and she still doesn’t know. IOW, she doesn’t entirely consider you out of the picture yet because she may need to pull you back in. Proceed very cautiously.
Waywards don’t like losing options — especially their Plan B’s.

They’ll even engage in things like couples counseling to keep them on the line. 🤷🏻‍♂️
 

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I believe everything you say here is correct. I am still in shock and still want to believe some couples therapy and hard work will right this ship before it sinks. I want to believe she hasn't gone too far emotionally. I know both of these things are unlikely but I just can't give up on her. Its been 9 days since I found out. About 6-8 weeks since I had reason to suspect. Still can't process. I have periods of strength and acceptance and a firm feeling of the need to close the book and not look back, but it happened so fast I feel like I have no closure, not all the facts, or at least not enough, and that's bad for the way my brain functions.
What is she admitting to at this point?

What is she denying?
 

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Send her this in two separate texts:

“Cheaters cheat; that’s what and who you are, and that’s what you do. It is and will forever be your legacy.”

“We’re done. I’m so happy I didn’t marry you. Don’t bother contacting me again.”

And then block her everywhere. Never contact her again. If there’s anything of hers left at your place, pack it up and ship it to her.
@crushed2x

Think I’d use this as the second text instead:

“We’re done. I’m so happy I didn’t marry you. I realize now why <your daughter> was giving us so much grief — she was onto you, even if she didn’t know it. Don’t bother contacting me again.”

…and then turn off your phone because HOLY **** the calls and texts will start pouring in like a hurricane. 🤣🤣🤣
 

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She told me she cheated. End of story. I am trying to have a meeting with her to tell her what that did to me, whether she hears it or not is irrelevant. I need to do it to close the book and move on. I am still in the beginning stages and can't help but do some what if's but I agree that is weak. I will get stronger and be able to heal. Sorry if I offended you I thought your post about getting royally **** by another dude wasn't very nice but I get it. I was trying to make a point. Some people have open marriages. Some people have a lot of sex before marriage, some people cheat and they find a way to work through it eventually. I am not that guy, it would bother me forever, but I have wanted to hear stories of all sorts.
Come on, man. Don’t go out like that.

If you want closure, send the texts I posted earlier (or something like them) and then drop and block her — immediately, everywhere, and permanently.
 
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You should’ve just sent the texts.

Hell, maybe you still can.
 

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i don't understand this...please clarify

Send her this in two separate texts:

“Cheaters cheat; that’s what and who you are, and that’s what you do. It is and will forever be your legacy.”

“We’re done. I’m so happy I didn’t marry you. Don’t bother contacting me again.”

And then block her everywhere. Never contact her again. If there’s anything of hers left at your place, pack it up and ship it to her.
 
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I sut her off on last Friday. I am struggling a lot today. My biggest setback is she is now talking to my friends, and in fact my best friends wife telling them "i never cheated on him" and even on the same exact day she came here and told me she is "dating" this new guy she spoke to my friends wife on the phone an hour earlier and told her the guy I had told my friends wife she was seeing a couple months ago, "we are just friends". I had a guy friend see her out two nights later holding hands and kissing her "friend" It's not bad enough to try to just say F her about the cheating, but now she's hitting close to home with my son, and my best friends and sowing her lies. Makes it all fresh every day.
Public Facebook post —

“Yes, she cheated. No, she’s not going to admit it. Cheaters never do. 🤷🏻‍♂️“
 

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I agree and understand, what pisses me off is why do they have to go on a lying and smear campaign. Isn't it bad enough you cheated and upended my life? Now you have to make it my fault and lie to my kids and my best friends...hurts more, and more than it should. Makes healing harder
An addendum:

“Ask yourself this — why is she calling you out of the blue to tell you she didn’t cheat?

Hell, it’s not even the first time she’s done this. Years ago she cheated on her husband… with his own cousin.

Please — if you have nothing else to say to me, please just leave me alone and let me heal.”
 

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I have no lines of communication open with her. She is now hitting my friends and my kids with the self-preservation calls and texts. I can't say the above, I'm not opening up communication again. I just don't know why people who break your heart have to keep breaking it over and over again for their own benefit, its awful
You misunderstand — I meant that to be the second part of a public Facebook post that YOU could post. Hence the quotes. You’d basically be saying that (along with my post before that) to your FB friends and any mutual FB friends — and anyone else that wound up stalking your FB page, which you can bet she’s doing right now. Doesn’t matter if she’s blocked, she’ll just open another account to stalk you.

She’s out to protect (or salvage, really) her reputation. Waywards hate the truth like cockroaches hate sunlight.
 

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too much respect for her kids, and Mine, believe me I have written it on my phone and thought about it a lot. I also don't need the backlash from her troops that have been assembled behind my back for who knows how long..
You don’t have to mention her by name.

And if she weren’t smearing you there’d be nothing to say, right?
 
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