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I think my husband is going through a midlife crisis. I've read ALOT over the past few months about the signs, symptoms, outcomes, etc. We have been married for seven years, together for 12. We have two boys, 4 and 5. My husband moved away from his hometown to live where I'm from when we got married. At the time we got married there was no other choice. This summer (about five months ago now) he started withdrawing from me and the boys. He spent a lot of time in his hometown, made a bunch of new friends as well as reacquinted with old ones. Never bothered to introduce me to any of them. I was left at home to care for the kids. I approached him at the end of the summer pointed out the "disconnect" of him and his family. He immediately agreed and said something needed to be done. We talked about separating. He said that is NOT what he wanted. I told him the boys had to come first and he needed to try to reconnect with them quickly. They stopped even asking if daddy was coming along or when daddy was coming home. I started planning things for them to do together. he did it. The kids were happy. I was still not. We started talking alot about what was going on -- every day almost. We never argue. He says he very unhappy but doesn't know why. He loves me. He loved the kids, doesn't want to lose us. He just feels like he's lost himself in his day to day life. The thought of losing me and his kids makes him physically ill, so he says, but he doesn't know how to fix whatever it is that's making him so unhappy. We started counseling. We've been to several sessions alone and several sessions together. We've determined he's bored. He's struggling with how fast time is going. One thing I should mention is he has everything he could ever ask for. We have a house we live in. We have a house at the beach. He has a fishing boat, a smaller boat that we spend days on the bay in the summer. We vacation frequently. We are not rich, but by no means are we poor. Our kids are very well taken care of. We both have great families and friends. From the outside you would say we/he has it all. We don't fight about money. We don't fight about the kids. We argue about little things, not major life changing events. There's nothing else I can offer him that could make him happy. I've read about people in midlife crisis. He seems to fit the profile, but the things he's not doing is pulling away from us in the way that it seems most men do. he has left the house, but his reason for leaving was because he knows how he's been behaving, and he wants to leave before our relationship gets to the point where we dont' like each other anymore. He wants to "figure it out" on his own. Anyone else go through this?? I'm left alone not having a clue what is going to happen on a day to day basis.
 

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Mid-life crisis can really be a humdinger; no 2 ways about it. However in my case my spouse finally became my best friend!!! See you have to talk this out with someone; someone who you feel you could tell anything, like killing your uncle even though they were never a suspect or that you shot Kennedy!!! Is he seeing pro help; cause if not he might be seeing someone who he can confide in!!!

Good Luck girl!!!
 

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when you say he has left the house do you mean he is living somewhere else?

I would be seriously worried if that is the case.

A husband and father's place is at home with his family
 

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If it's not depression on his part (if so, get him individual counseling)..
But if it's not... then I think he's just being selfish & blaming it on mid-life crises.
 
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