It is NOT an acceptable excuse. However, it might really be true. Your wife might not be able to see her behavior objectively and may need counseling to get out of these bad habits of abusiveness. Additionally, you need to figure out why you have let yourself be treated this way.
You have two choices in front of you and you should think long and hard before you decide: A) leave her and find someone without such baggage, B) try to work it out, which will be hard as hell and which will only work if you are BOTH committed to change. Think about what these two paths offer you.
A) No one would fault you for simply leaving. It would be easier to leave her. You don't deserve to be treated this way. However, if you choose this route, you still have to learn how to undo your own codependent, passive behaviors that enabled this situation you are in so you don't find yourself in the same situation again.
B) If you want to work it out with her, get some good books about anger management, domestic abuse, and how to handle conflict resolution and power struggles. Get a good marriage counselor who can help you guys figure things out. Learn how to stand up for yourself and start reading about positive assertiveness and boundaries. Don't let her rug-sweep the situation in favor of having a clean slate without her cleaning up the mess because otherwise, she will revert.
Get video cameras in places where you guys are likely to have conflict. After a big fight has happened and she has calmed down, let her see what her actions look like. She may not be aware of the extent of her behavior and might need some help coming to terms with how she is treating you.
If your life is in danger, leave her.
An unrepentant abusive spouse will definitely act up again and increase intensity to level the playing field once the dust has settled. You've brought attention to the problem and now you have two options 1) deal with it so it doesn't happen again, 2) prepare for it to get way worse.