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I am 37, been married for over 8 years, been with her for over 12, and we have a 4 year old son. Here's my problem...

I am a cop (CSI) and provide 2/3 of our income plus insurance. I do all of the yard work, I take out the trash, clean the toilets, do 90% of our cooking, take care of our cars, computers, and cellphones (maintenance and updates), love our son and play with him as often as possible (he sticks to me like glue), and love to be intimate with my wife as often as possible. I do not hit her, I do not drink, I do not do drugs, I do not smoke, and I have never cheated on her (and never would).

She is a pre-school teacher, does the laundry (half assed...piles clean clothes in the floor), and does the dishes 1x a week after I fuss about not having any clean dishes to cook with or eat off of. She lays around on the couch, watches TV, refuses to clean house, and has no sex drive at all. I have to beg for intimacy and if I am lucky, I get one night a month (or longer). She is EXTREMELY fussy and a nagger. She is never happy and nothing I do is ever right or good enough.

I have spoken numerous times with her about my issues and where we are headed. She blows me off, refuses to make changes for the better, and does not want to do her part to make the marriage work. We have gone to a counselor and he immediately recognized that she was the central issue. She admitted her shortcomings to him and what needed to be done to correct them...she never even tried.

I now feel like that I do not have a wife; I have a lazy roommate with a once a month benefit. I have no desire to spend the rest of my life with someone who does not appreciate me, and is unwilling to reciprocate my feelings.

Is divorce inevitable?
 

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Totally, CD! Provided you feel that there is still hope, she needs to consent to entering MC with you. In the absence of that, which would be my educated guess, then you need to resort to "the 180" on her, enter IC on your own, and consult with an attorney soon. And if you must file, then you should file for custody of your son, who would be far better off with you than with her.

I'm reading in to it that your W probably has some "mental issues." If she's willing to admit to them and willingly wishes to face up to them in counselling, then there's still the prospects for hope. Otherwise, it just a recipe for diaster!

You've come to the right place~ sorry to see you here. But being here will put you in contact with folks who have already gone through what you're currently enduring!

I truly wish you well, my friend!
 

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hmm. could be because you are a cop. she might walk all over you with no fear of repercussions. Drug dealers girlfriends and wives however get total respect because they know if they dont listen he will knock the **** out of them or pimp them out.
 

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And no. im not joking, cousins a cop, my sister was married to a cop. wifes sister was married to a cop. wives walk all over cops from what i have seen. what are they going to do?

i have known a couple drug dealers in my life as well. Their girlfriends and wives were a lot more respectful. They knew if they weren't they would be in deep ****.
 

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So is it 8years of hell or 12 years of hell?

If this behavior is all new then I would suggest you give her the option to divorce or go get some help.

If this is been going on since you've known her then why in the hell do you tolorate the disrespect?

You diserve good things so stop being so codependent!
 

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I feel your pain buddy.
I hate encouraging divorces and things like that, but it seems like if she doesn't get her priorities straight, divorce her..

life is too short to wait or spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.
 
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