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23 Posts
I'll try to be short....
Married 16 yrs, 2 kids
Husband very controlling, almost to the point of being emotionally abusive. Tells me what to wear, who to talk to, who I can be friends with. If I stand up to him, he will make it a huge fight, tell me I am being selfish and immature, and will bring the kids into it saying I am not thinking about their well being at all. (if I want to work out at 5am...so I don't disrupt my time with them...really???!!) He accuses me of cheating if I don't answer my phone on the first ring, and he has gone through all my personal belongings in our home in search of an affair, because I am not "open" with him on EVERYTHING in my life....like what my girlfriends and I talk about when we talk; or personal details about my mom's marriage that she has confidentially told me about.
10 yrs ago, while H was living in another state away from me and the kids working, he admitted to me that he had cybersex with other women every night. He told me "this is what other 30 something married people do for entertainment." He introduced me to how to have cybersex, forced me to be naked in front of a webcam. I resisted at first. but then gave in thinking it would save our marriage. Keep in mind that I have always had the higher sex drive, and I am very open minded to porn, toys, etc. This "real" people thing freaked me out a bit, and I resisted, but again, gave in and explored cybersex because I thought my marriage would be saved if he let me into his world. He often talked about us meeting these cyber-people in real life, and he even yelled at me when I said that I really wouldn't be interested in meeting any of these people in person. He even took nude and lingerie pictures of me, with the idea that he "thought" I was beautiful, and he wanted to keep the pictures for his own use. I was devestated to find out that he used these pictures to lure other couples/people online to chat/cybersex with him when he was out of town because, as he said "people are more open to talking/playing if you are a couple on the internet, instead of some single weirdo guy." So, I guess I was pimped out by my own husband for his own desires.
This forever tainted me, and the way I feel about our marriage. I do believe this is why our marriage has been strained for many years, and I believe he is so controlling and accusing of me because he KNOWS how easy it is to get involved with things. During this time, he barely wanted to have sex with me, even though he was out of time for six weeks at a time.
I am a very sexually open (with HIM ONLY) woman and I am open to many things. But, he does not have a sex drive, at least with me anyway. He will not go to counseling, and I am not sure what else I can do.
Would you consider cybersex in this way cheating??
Married 16 yrs, 2 kids
Husband very controlling, almost to the point of being emotionally abusive. Tells me what to wear, who to talk to, who I can be friends with. If I stand up to him, he will make it a huge fight, tell me I am being selfish and immature, and will bring the kids into it saying I am not thinking about their well being at all. (if I want to work out at 5am...so I don't disrupt my time with them...really???!!) He accuses me of cheating if I don't answer my phone on the first ring, and he has gone through all my personal belongings in our home in search of an affair, because I am not "open" with him on EVERYTHING in my life....like what my girlfriends and I talk about when we talk; or personal details about my mom's marriage that she has confidentially told me about.
10 yrs ago, while H was living in another state away from me and the kids working, he admitted to me that he had cybersex with other women every night. He told me "this is what other 30 something married people do for entertainment." He introduced me to how to have cybersex, forced me to be naked in front of a webcam. I resisted at first. but then gave in thinking it would save our marriage. Keep in mind that I have always had the higher sex drive, and I am very open minded to porn, toys, etc. This "real" people thing freaked me out a bit, and I resisted, but again, gave in and explored cybersex because I thought my marriage would be saved if he let me into his world. He often talked about us meeting these cyber-people in real life, and he even yelled at me when I said that I really wouldn't be interested in meeting any of these people in person. He even took nude and lingerie pictures of me, with the idea that he "thought" I was beautiful, and he wanted to keep the pictures for his own use. I was devestated to find out that he used these pictures to lure other couples/people online to chat/cybersex with him when he was out of town because, as he said "people are more open to talking/playing if you are a couple on the internet, instead of some single weirdo guy." So, I guess I was pimped out by my own husband for his own desires.
This forever tainted me, and the way I feel about our marriage. I do believe this is why our marriage has been strained for many years, and I believe he is so controlling and accusing of me because he KNOWS how easy it is to get involved with things. During this time, he barely wanted to have sex with me, even though he was out of time for six weeks at a time.
I am a very sexually open (with HIM ONLY) woman and I am open to many things. But, he does not have a sex drive, at least with me anyway. He will not go to counseling, and I am not sure what else I can do.
Would you consider cybersex in this way cheating??