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I'm not sure what FOO is, unless you mean Family of Origin issues, which includes everyone! First, you refer to your wife as codependent. It's a "Co-" relationship, meaning it takes two. You're equally dependent. Yes, you're wife is in the "counter-dependent" phase. Both of you lost your independence. Continue to work on yourself and your codependency. Develop interests and friends other than marriage and work. Even if she leaves, on top of the grief you'll feel, you'll need to do that. Learn to create your own happiness, independent of your wife. This attracts others. My book is very useful with lots of self-help exercises is "Codependency for Dummies."
Darlene Lancer MFT
 

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Kathy wrote a beautiful description and I love the visual.:) If we're doing alphabet soup, this marriage may be a K with only Z-man connecting. Yes, detachment is much misunderstood, which is why I call it nonattachment in my book. It really allows you to be MORE loving since you're not imposing your agenda on others. I suggest you check that when you want to share with your wife you aren't seeking her approval or advice, as that will push her away. If you're asking questions, learning to be assertive will help.

I offer Free "14 Tips for Letting Go" on my website at What Is Codependency? Codependency Symptoms and Recovery by Darlene Lancer, MFT
I also
 
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