Any emotional or physical connection made outside the marriage without the express knowledge and consent of the other spouse is IMO cheating.
He needs to keep all texts for you to see, give you all PWs and give you all his account information. Tell him if you find any accounts that he is hiding from you that he is in deep trouble. He cheated on you, he hid it. He might be hiding other things. Tell him if there are deleted texts he is in deep trouble.He also hasn't offered up his passwords to anything (email, fb or whatever)but he is not likely to be hiding anything there as he rarely uses a computer or email or anything like that.
Why would you go to him/her then if it was so humiliating? You've posted that a few times on the forums.