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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So hears a thought. Is it possible to cheat inversely within a relationship? Example; a couple that's been married now for 10 or years, couple kids, average life style, nothing of note on the outside. However on the inside one of the couple has just quit in the relationship, withdrawn emotionally. When the other trys to work it out the other just doesn't participate. Only when the threat of leaving occurs do they show an attempt at trying, manipulating the others feeling and then continue on.
This continues till the other partner feels trapped and so isolated that they sadly seek solace with another, yes either EA/PA or both.
Who's really at fault in a situation such as this? Both? The one who finally steps out, or the other who drove their partner to step out?
Seems a little more shades than just black and white. What's your thoughts?
 

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So hears a thought. Is it possible to cheat inversely within a relationship? Example; a couple that's been married now for 10 or years, couple kids, average life style, nothing of note on the outside. However on the inside one of the couple has just quit in the relationship, withdrawn emotionally. When the other trys to work it out the other just doesn't participate. Only when the threat of leaving occurs do they show an attempt at trying, manipulating the others feeling and then continue on.
This continues till the other partner feels trapped and so isolated that they sadly seek solace with another, yes either EA/PA or both.
Who's really at fault in a situation such as this? Both? The one who finally steps out, or the other who drove their partner to step out?
Seems a little more shades than just black and white. What's your thoughts?
And the reason said person cannot divorce their terrible spouse instead of cheating on them is?
 

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Who's really at fault in a situation such as this? Both? The one who finally steps out, or the other who drove their partner to step out?
The one who stepped out. If you're unhappy, leave before cheating.

My wife likes to claim that her first affair started because of the way I acted prior to it starting. She can try to blame me all she wants but the reality is, she could have (and should have) just ended the relationship first.

The same goes for everyone else. People can certainly be pushed away but no one makes you cheat and there is always another option.
 

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Maybe you mean to ask is it possible for a marriage to be so dead that cheating isn’t really cheating anymore? My answer is yes.
I do believe there are some marriages that fit that description.
I’m actually not opposed to this at all scenarios, but if it’s done, it should be done above board and not secretly. No lying.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
There’s something known as “quiet quitting” in the workplace, but I could see that happening in marriages, too. But cheating is cheating and couples find all kind of excuses to justify their decisions. Oh, the marriage was dead anyway, so… :rolleyes:
So if a partner quiet quits on the other, essentially becomes single in the marriage, isn't that partner cheating the other of a healthy fulfilling relationship?
 

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There’s no justification for one partner going outside the marriage. That partner is at fault for infidelity.

BOTH partners have ownership of problems within the marriage, although the fault may belong to one more than the other.

You can ask the question “didn't one cheat the other out of a good life” if you want, but that just leads to the question “why was the ‘quiet quit’ partner unhappy?” Those are questions for marriage counseling and are the things we mean when we say we have to “work at marriage”.

Blaming one or the other partner for problems inside the marriage is bad. Both partners owning the solutions is good assuming everyone is honest (meaning that one partner is not manipulating the other).
 

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Cheating means betraying. This meana it is an act of violation towards the other person. There is no justification. What is so difficult to understand about that???

If you feel rejected and feel you want to het something you miss from soneone eöse then make an announcement.
If you and your spouse don't agree, seperate.
A marriage is about making decisions that both parties agree with.
Nothing else. There is no 'but if...'

Discuss what you are doing or intend to do with your partner. If the partnrr agrees, then it is not cheating and then it is OK.

The issue is not if cheating is OK under certain circunstances, rather that you don't undersrand what cheating means.
 

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Twisting words to get a different response to a tort is called rationalizing.

It may work with a woke jury, but not with a wise judge.

Nor, with most wary Mom's.
 
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