[rep]

I was married 17 years. i have a 16 year old girl and 7 year old son. I thought our marriage was good until the last year when she started getting angry over everything. She lost alot of weight and even got plastic surgery. She was even changing clothes at work bc she started wearing very tight (****ty-IMO) clothes and it started 1 fight.
She left one night and I have only been in a room with her 1 time in 2 years. I miss the old person I was married to and dislike this new person. Im trying hard to sum it up bc its a long story. Financailly the divorce cost me millions and sent me to bankrutpcy. My daughter, whom was my best buddy in life refuses to talk with me. I have joint with our son but we never have to see each other bc the bus does the transporting. I do have an apt with her and my sons school this coming week and Im freaking out to be in a room with her. This divorce has destroyed my ability to trust people. I have a new great girlfriend but Im hard on her. Im afraid. I find myself still thinking about the old women I was with with. Everyone says time will heal but I cant wait for it. I dont know if I miss her or just miss having the family. My emotions go all over the place sometimes. I cant tell heads from tails. Its even been 4 months since ive spoken to my ex bc her new boyfriend is someone I completly disapprove of and I know you guys will beat me up for that.
I actually find myself wanting to remarry and have another child bc I was the happiest when I had a family. Im miserable alone.

 

[angelpixie]

So sorry that you had to join us here, rep. First question I have for you: Are you in any kind of therapy or counseling? You have an awful lot going on inside, and it seems like it's been too much for you to deal with alone. Time won't really heal. It takes work to truly heal.

It's great that you can see that this is affecting your relationship with your new girlfriend. Please don't marry someone, and especially have another child, without getting to the bottom of your feelings. That's not fair to anyone involved, including you.

Have you seen your physician through all this? If you're not already on one, an anti-depressant or a sleep medication may help in the short term while you're getting things leveled out.

Another way to get your feelings out is to journal. Write what you're feeling. Make a habit if doing it every day. Reading over those entries periodically can sometimes help you identify where a particular problem area is, what you really need to work on.

Mostly, I would really recommend that you see a counselor who can help you get off the emotional roller coaster that you're on. You sound like someone who really wants to be a good, caring person, and I respect that.

 

[Corpuswife]

Reach out, to others, during this time of transition if you haven't already. You have no other choice but let time tick on and move on.

No marriage and no children.....it's not fair to you or them. It's not time.