So sorry that you had to join us here, rep. First question I have for you: Are you in any kind of therapy or counseling? You have an awful lot going on inside, and it seems like it's been too much for you to deal with alone. Time won't really heal. It takes work to truly heal.
It's great that you can see that this is affecting your relationship with your new girlfriend. Please don't marry someone, and especially have another child, without getting to the bottom of your feelings. That's not fair to anyone involved, including you.
Have you seen your physician through all this? If you're not already on one, an anti-depressant or a sleep medication may help in the short term while you're getting things leveled out.
Another way to get your feelings out is to journal. Write what you're feeling. Make a habit if doing it every day. Reading over those entries periodically can sometimes help you identify where a particular problem area is, what you really need to work on.
Mostly, I would really recommend that you see a counselor who can help you get off the emotional roller coaster that you're on. You sound like someone who really wants to be a good, caring person, and I respect that.
It's great that you can see that this is affecting your relationship with your new girlfriend. Please don't marry someone, and especially have another child, without getting to the bottom of your feelings. That's not fair to anyone involved, including you.
Have you seen your physician through all this? If you're not already on one, an anti-depressant or a sleep medication may help in the short term while you're getting things leveled out.
Another way to get your feelings out is to journal. Write what you're feeling. Make a habit if doing it every day. Reading over those entries periodically can sometimes help you identify where a particular problem area is, what you really need to work on.
Mostly, I would really recommend that you see a counselor who can help you get off the emotional roller coaster that you're on. You sound like someone who really wants to be a good, caring person, and I respect that.
