Hello everyone! This is my first post. I've never been on one of these forums before, but a female friend at work suggested to take my questions/concerns online (so here I am... ).
****** (my wife nick name) and I have been married for 7 years as of 2013. I'm 30 years old with a high sex drive and she is a few years younger with almost zero drive. We've talked about it several times and tried to even set goals. I've tried toys (expensive handheld ones), movies, dates, and even meds. She is usually too tired or not in the mood. I assumed it was because of the daily work load of house chores and our two children (5 yr old, 2 yr old). As any good husband would, I stepped up my game since February. I made it my mission to be the only one to do the dishes and wipe down the kitchen each day. Only one to now do the laundry twice a week (including folding and put away). Every weekend I force myself to get up early and vacuum the whole house. My wife cooks during the week and I do the cooking on the weekends.
All of my effects paid off after the first week and for the second week she was all over me (meaning sex twice that week, and shower play once as well). After that 2nd week it all went back to being the same - to tired or not in the mood. I'm still on my mission and have been doing most of the house chores by myself... but We might be intimate once a month if I'm lucky. I always make it a point to really help her relax and enjoy 'getting her Off' (in anyway she wants) - in part because I hope it will make her want it more often. She says all the time how lucky she is to be with me and that there is nothing wrong. We both have gained a little weight since we first got married (she was 120 lbs, now 140 i think; and I was 180 lbs 6 ft tall, now 200 lbs and lost my abs). Could that be the cause? I gained some belly fat? --- Having sex and being intimate with my wife 12 or LESS times a year is very hard for me, and she knows this because we have talked about it. Just wanted to see what more people thought about it. Maybe I'm being selfish.
Thank you for reading and sorry about the long typing... Any advise or constructive criticism would be appreciated. Thanks again.