Talk About Marriage banner

101 - 120 of 121 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,294 Posts
Meh. It would still be considered weird or a huge age gap. Less stigmatized than your situation.
I'm going to have to disagree on this; it can happen but is in no way guaranteed or even likely. I never caught any crap from having a GF 15 years my junior, and neither did she that I heard about. Her family really liked what I was about, liked that I was really good to her and her kids, and that I took good care of them. I'm still on good terms with them, and they tend to think she made a mistake by moving on.

For my part, my family never made comments about me robbing the cradle or her just wanting to be cared for. Everyone just saw two people who got along well and were happy for us.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
178 Posts
Discussion Starter #102
It's interesting to observe my own emotions change and my conversations with the older woman develop leading up to when I go see her later this month. I certainly had what most certainly must have been some sort of hormonal explosion of soaring expectations and fantasy about this woman just about a week ago, and it was so intense I crashed and slept for like 9 hours. Then I had a day or two of feeling kind of emotionally clingy---HOWEVER I DID NOT ACT ON THIS. I kept my distance for a couple of days.

Now I've returned back to center, and I've recommitted myself to the following: my absolute top priority is that this woman is my friend first and foremost. Whether or not it becomes a romantic or sexual relationship I'm considering a secondary consideration and not of prime importance. The reasons I'm committing to this are:

1) When I had told her of my feelings she made me promise to be her friend either way. I said of course!
2) If I think of her as a sexual end-goal, then all my thinking will be in terms of cat and mouse gameplay, or manipulation: "How do I make her want to have sex with me?" I don't like thinking this way.
3) I genuinely like her, the person. And she genuinely likes me, the person. That's actually MORE important to me than sex. I already was married 11 years. I know what sex is like. And quite frankly, it is overrated. IF I ever have sex again, I want it to be because I formed a really strong friendship with a woman FIRST. Then, it has potential to be a really special expression of affection for someone who really means something to me.
4) A good friend of mine gave me advice along these lines---he said: "pretend sex is not an option" and said, with the right woman this actually makes you more desirable---because the woman feels valued, doesn't feel like a piece of meat.

So we'll see what happens. She keeps dropping little hints or alluding to my original letter seeming to indicate continued openness to us becoming more than friends, so, obviously I'll have a background hope that it develops. She's gorgeous. God, it would be a dream come true. Did I mention she was a red head? I have a thing for red heads. Big time LOL.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,542 Posts
he said: "pretend sex is not an option" and said, with the right woman this actually makes you more desirable---because the woman feels valued, doesn't feel like a piece of meat.
That's a good advice and I wish all men could think like that at some point in their lives.

I genuinely like her, the person. And she genuinely likes me, the person. That's actually MORE important to me than sex.
If that's the case, give it a try. It's not surprising. You're attracted to mature people (mentally) so whether it's a man or a woman, it's this type of character you get along with better.
 
  • Like
Reactions: onceler1

·
Registered
Joined
·
178 Posts
Discussion Starter #104 (Edited)
That's a good advice and I wish all men could think like that at some point in their lives.
I think a trap many men fall into, and I'm no exception, is that men tend to get obsessed with their own virility to the point where it causes toxic situations with the opposite sex, whether you're trying to attract one or whether you're already married to one and you're demanding too much. Maybe men worry too much about being "friendzoned." And then engage in all sorts of thinking about how to trick women into wanting them sexually. I've had a bunch of girlfriends, and was married 11 years, I only recall getting friendzoned once haha. I guess that means I have enough mojo I shouldn't worry about that. LOL. But with this woman I just don't know what to really expect since it's quite new territory for both me and her (the age difference). I think that's probablly more what's going on than anything. It's like, I like her, she likes me, she hasn't shut me down, she's open to it, but we both are like: "okay, this is new. But maybe it could work..." :D so I guess I'll just find out when I go see her.

and yeah I might not have mentioned this would wind up being long distance at first, but the thing is I don't have very deep roots where I moved to recently, she lives back where I came from it'd be easy to go back---if this develops to that point... but I'm getting way ahead of myself lol.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,294 Posts
I think a trap many men fall into, and I'm no exception, is that men tend to get obsessed with their own virility to the point where it causes toxic situations with the opposite sex, whether you're trying to attract one or whether you're already married to one and you're demanding too much. Maybe men worry too much about being "friendzoned." And then engage in all sorts of thinking about how to trick women into wanting them sexually.
Hmmm. I'm not sure how accurate this is. I agree that you shouldn't manipulate a woman (by lying about your attraction level, for instance) to get sex. Nor should you need sex to bolster a poor self image.

But beyond that, what is the toxic behavior to which you are referring? What is demanding too much? Personally, if I was married or living with someone I'd be a 2x per week person, which is perfectly reasonable. A lady saying that is too much for her doesn't make either of us unreasonable or wrong. It just means that she's not into me (or sex period) that much and we're not well-suited for each other unless she can work her way up to 2x per week.

Similarly, a woman resenting some level of sex being a requirement does not mean that having such an expectation is unreasonable. My attitude is "I don't require sex, but my relationships do". If a lady wants a guy who is willing to be a solid everyday partner without getting that need met, I'm not the right person for her. As long as I'm honest about it there's nothing wrong with having that outlook.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
178 Posts
Discussion Starter #106
Well, I've seen several marriages ruined due to porn addiction for example. Sometimes the woman seems to be blamed because of withholding sex, but then if you dig a little bit deeper, you find that the man actually was being very petulant, demanding, or critical towards the woman concerning sex---which completely turns her off. I actually myself began to behave somewhat this way towards my ex wife, when her interest in sex began to slow down a bit. I used to like 2x a week as well, but she began to only seem to want it about 1x a week or sometimes less. My response was to become quite petulant and demanding as a result. Frustrated I came to this website for advice. A generous person on this site actually reached out to me to talk to me in PMs for a while, and suggested that I simply grow up and wait for my woman to be ready and be gentle and patient with her. This did actually greatly improve things for a while, but her pace of being ready for sex was slower than mine. However, I actually learned to abstain for longer than I had previously been comfortable with, and the result is that the sex with my wife improved.

Perhaps others are lucky enough to navigate these situations without frustration entering the picture... I'm grateful in my case I was able to resolve it just by increasing my own ability to be patient. However, I know of two marriages of people who were close to me where the man became so obsessed with porn and his own virility and frequency of sex that he completely ruined the sex life with his wife and ended in a terrible divorce. So...if you've avoided this, have a high sex drive and a woman receptive to it...good for you...but it destroys a lot of people it seems to me.

So that's in the scenario of being married. Toxicity as I see it with respect to trying to attract someone is basically just that you want sex so badly it completely blinds your ability to interact with a woman on a normal human to human basis.

I've had a pretty piss poor love life, here. If I actually manage to have a healthy, real relationship with the woman I've been discussing in this thread it'll be an awfully nice break/good karma returning, that's for damn sure...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,294 Posts
Well, I've seen several marriages ruined due to porn addiction for example. Sometimes the woman seems to be blamed because of withholding sex, but then if you dig a little bit deeper, you find that the man actually was being very petulant, demanding, or critical towards the woman concerning sex---which completely turns her off. I actually myself began to behave somewhat this way towards my ex wife, when her interest in sex began to slow down a bit. I used to like 2x a week as well, but she began to only seem to want it about 1x a week or sometimes less. My response was to become quite petulant and demanding as a result. Frustrated I came to this website for advice. A generous person on this site actually reached out to me to talk to me in PMs for a while, and suggested that I simply grow up and wait for my woman to be ready and be gentle and patient with her. This did actually greatly improve things for a while, but her pace of being ready for sex was slower than mine. However, I actually learned to abstain for longer than I had previously been comfortable with, and the result is that the sex with my wife improved.
I hear what you are saying, but the problem I see with your process is that it sets the woman's preferred pace and timing as the standard; the man needs to adjust his need to hers. From a philosophical perspective, this violates the concept of marriage as a partnership. A marriage should be a situation where the wants and needs of both should be equally important. What you describe above is not that.

From a practical perspective, making that accommodation improves nothing. Generally, being flexible on sex just results in additional depriortization of sex. The sex just dries up and you have the same discussion, except with a lower baseline. Why in the hell would I want to act like less sex is okay when it isn't?

I had a GF who aimed for a routine of plan a date, have a nice outing, hang out, then she'd call it a night. I was expected to always be the stand up traditional guy - supportive, provider, etc. But for her, it was all optional; she said her body is worth more than anything a guy could offer, so it was okay to be like she was. And, tying relationship status to the sex life was akin to abuse. I basically told her "good luck with that"; she adjusted her position in fairly short order. But can you imagine if I just tried to wait it out? BTW this one still drops serious hints that she's changed and wants another shot; ummm, no thank you.

Another one had a lot on her plate and the sex life took a dive. Now she was a busy person and we had been together for a year, so I of course gave her a lot of slack and patience. But one morning she blew me off again so I start packing up to go home. No complaining or anything like that, but if she has better things to do then so do I. Of course now she notices and says something and I honestly tell her that I can tell she's not into it so I'm getting on with my day. Then she goes on about being stressed and I suggest that maybe she might need to learn how to manage that better (not just about sex, it was starting to be an overall issue for her). Her response included an understanding that people don't break up for a lack of sex. I told her that people do indeed break up for that reason. Again, can you imagine if I just let it slide and didn't confront the issue?

Lastly (and I see this a lot here) you are oversimplifying this. It's either that I find a lady with a high drive to accommodate me, or I just need to wait on her, be patient, and accept what comes. Black or white - nothing in between. But real life is different. There are ladies who love their husbands and enthusiastically want to provide a good experience even if it requires effort and whatever activity is not their preference. And there are ladies who at least recognize a good situation and know that a relationship without sex generally doesn't work out.

And above all, I don't need a partner to be happy. While I'd like one, I'm not going to just endure to have one. So I have no problem cooling down a relationship or just flat-out saying "hey, it seems like you're not into it. Is it something fixable, or perhaps we need to go our separate ways?"
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
178 Posts
Discussion Starter #108 (Edited)
I suppose everyone has to find their own way of dealing with the powerful male sex drive...and one's mileage may vary with respect to finding a woman willing to negotiate or receptive to a man's needs.

But to try to dig a little deeper into what I'm saying---I think that a lot of men fall into a trap with the availability of porn these days that makes men feel like their virility is literally unstoppable and that they should be entitled to have sex and masturbate multiple times a week and that they can't run out of sexual energy. It's this extreme trap that I'm referring to---perhaps it never took hold for you personally, but it certainly had for me briefly (but I DID fix this during my previous marriage), and it definitely took hold for the husbands in 2 marriages close to me. It's no wonder to me that e.d. is a problem for a lot of men when they are sapping their energy like this on a regular basis and why they don't find their own spouses arousing anymore. THAT's what I'm talking about. Men who behave like that probably contribute to their wife wanting LESS sex. If you're not unhealthy in this regard, and you're not being demanding, impatient or petulant with your woman, AND they are receptive to your sexual appetite...that's awesome. That's a tough thing to achieve...one, you have to be a disciplined guy that doesn't ever get obsessed with porn, and two, you have to have a woman who doesn't get sick of sex.

What I've personally found from my experience in my first marriage is that learning to wait for her was actually very good for me too. Erections lasted longer and orgasms were bigger for me, and I think she felt better because I wasn't pushing her or making her feel bad about not being there for me, instead I'd just be very patient and gentle and try to initiate in a kinder, more romantic way.

I suddenly remembered I'm aware of a third marriage where the man was being petulant and demanding and ruined it. Two of those three marriages the man was accused of rape at one point because, clearly negotiation broke down and the man was unwilling to wait.

So I guess at the end I've just developed this ability to abstain and wait. I can go weeks without masturbating or looking at porn. Personally I see this as a gift I can give my next partner, because I will be able to be patient, but more importantly, all my energy will be saved for when she actually is ready for me.

In fact, one interesting side effect of my newfound ability to abstain is that, for the last month or so thinking about this woman I've been discussing in this thread is all I've needed for myself...I haven't looked at porn since this relationship became a possibility---which tells me I've reconnected my feelings of arousal with having an emotional connection to a woman rather than watching a bunch of actors having fake sex with each other. (well, not fake as in not functional, but fake as in, exaggerated expressions and vocalizations).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,542 Posts
Generally, being flexible on sex just results in additional depriortization of sex. T
I'd say it's better to be flexible rather than set a time. It'd make it feel like a chore, rather than something out of pure pleasure and excitement.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,294 Posts
I'd say it's better to be flexible rather than set a time. It'd make it feel like a chore, rather than something out of pure pleasure and excitement.
I was referring to being flexible not just with timing of sex, but the overall frequency of it and what acts are done. The gentleman I was discussing this with said easing up on his requests for a bit was an overall positive. That has not been my experience. Usually it just goes from a few times a week, to once a week, to once every few weeks, and so on - setting a new normal in her eyes at each step.

While ideally sex is spontaneous and exciting, the real world does not work that way. You might have to be intentional about sex to stay connected. If you know sex is important and I'm not content, yet you keep putting it off, before long I'll be as apathetic about the things you value. Because I'm good at doing the little things that make my partner feel loved, you'll notice a real change in the dynamic. And now you're hurt and maybe resentful, because now you're feeling ignored. Isn't it better to maintain and be proactive rather than have to fix things down the road?

As far as making sex feel like a chore, that is a mindset thing - nothing more. You can think "I have better things to do, so let's get this done" or you can think "I have a good guy who works hard to provide that which is meaningful to me, so I'm going to give back lovingly and plentifully"; it's 100% up to you. Now, if you can continue to take and still look at giving back as a chore, that's where I'm going to tell you we need to discuss whether we have a future.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,294 Posts
I suppose everyone has to find their own way of dealing with the powerful male sex drive...and one's mileage may vary with respect to finding a woman willing to negotiate or receptive to a man's needs.

But to try to dig a little deeper into what I'm saying---I think that a lot of men fall into a trap with the availability of porn these days that makes men feel like their virility is literally unstoppable and that they should be entitled to have sex and masturbate multiple times a week and that they can't run out of sexual energy. It's this extreme trap that I'm referring to---perhaps it never took hold for you personally, but it certainly had for me briefly (but I DID fix this during my previous marriage), and it definitely took hold for the husbands in 2 marriages close to me. It's no wonder to me that e.d. is a problem for a lot of men when they are sapping their energy like this on a regular basis and why they don't find their own spouses arousing anymore. THAT's what I'm talking about. Men who behave like that probably contribute to their wife wanting LESS sex. If you're not unhealthy in this regard, and you're not being demanding, impatient or petulant with your woman, AND they are receptive to your sexual appetite...that's awesome. That's a tough thing to achieve...one, you have to be a disciplined guy that doesn't ever get obsessed with porn, and two, you have to have a woman who doesn't get sick of sex.

What I've personally found from my experience in my first marriage is that learning to wait for her was actually very good for me too. Erections lasted longer and orgasms were bigger for me, and I think she felt better because I wasn't pushing her or making her feel bad about not being there for me, instead I'd just be very patient and gentle and try to initiate in a kinder, more romantic way.

I suddenly remembered I'm aware of a third marriage where the man was being petulant and demanding and ruined it. Two of those three marriages the man was accused of rape at one point because, clearly negotiation broke down and the man was unwilling to wait.
I'm not sure what you mean about running out of sexual energy, so I guess it doesn't apply to me. I've never been one to just keep compulsively pounding away on myself or someone else. I've had instances where occasionally I'm horny a few days in a row or even twice in the same day, but those are uncommon and generally follow a period of inactivity - not the same thing as you discuss.

One thing to consider is that our experiences may be different because we are all individuals. Your innate sex drive simply might be lower than mine, which is why you abstaining from sex for weeks is not a big deal. But for me, not having any release for a few weeks (especially when younger) with your attractive partner nearby was distinctly unpleasant - you are aware that guys have biological triggers that want you to have sex, right?

Another thing (possibly more important) is relationship dynamics. I've had relationships where we didn't have a ton of face time. Either our work schedules didn't really line up, or family needs came first, etc. In that type of situation of course expecting regular sex is unreasonable - I'd go two weeks or a month even without sweating it.

But I'm thinking of situations where you see each other most days or every day (married, GF lives close by, GF lives with me). My experience is that the ladies expected me to have their wants and needs as a priority. And that's fine by me; if you're my partner I feel it's very appropriate to expect me to place a high priority on your wants and needs and I address them accordingly. But at the same time, they expected me to not worry about my own needs.

That's where I take exception. I'm happy to do the heavy lifting and take the lead in the relationship, setting an example for how the relationship can be. But having a partner that expects me to be consistently on point while expecting much less of herself is simply not going to happen. This problem has a selfish woman at the core.

So, if I had a relationship where my partner was pretty laid back and not demanding it would be relatively easy to be gone a lot, do my thing, and reconnect every so often. But a partner who expects regular attention to her needs has to be ready to give back in kind. To do otherwise is disrespectful, doesn't promote mutuality, and violates the norm of reciprocation.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,542 Posts
That has not been my experience. Usually it just goes from a few times a week, to once a week, to once every few weeks, and so on - setting a new normal in her eyes at each step.
As far as the frequency goes, abstaining from sex for weeks/months(unless there are other medical conditions), wouldn't be normal for a healthy (relatively) young couple. But sex-drives should be taken into account as well. If both are LD, then going sexless for several weeks, wouldn't be a problem. If there is a mismatch between an LD and an HD person, the this would be a real incompatibility issue.

While ideally sex is spontaneous and exciting, the real world does not work that way. You might have to be intentional about sex to stay connected.
If you know sex is important and I'm not content, yet you keep putting it off, before long I'll be as apathetic about the things you value. Because I'm good at doing the little things that make my partner feel loved, you'll notice a real change in the dynamic.
I do agree with you that regular sex to meet your and SO's needs is very important but when I used the term "chore" I was referring to the expectation to have sex EVERY SINGLE night...meaning..once you lie down in bed you know you have to have sex. This is the chore I'm talking about.
It doesn't give me the chance to "miss" sex or even initiate it. How do I "miss" it if I know it's there anyway...every single night..?
Just like OP said, when he started having it less often - he had better orgasms. So, I think there needs to be a balance between quality and quantity of the sex-life you have with your partner. But this also comes down to the sex-drive match that I referred to above.

As far as making sex feel like a chore, that is a mindset thing - nothing more. You can think "I have better things to do, so let's get this done" or you can think "I have a good guy who works hard to provide that which is meaningful to me, so I'm going to give back lovingly and plentifully";
That depends if I'm having a good guy who has proven in many ways he's into me.
But, If we're talking about a guy who leans on the selfish side, doesn't do much at home to help and still expects me to be a superwoman with kids, with home and in bed...and still wants sex every-night, then no thank you!
If we're talking about the guy you're referring to as a good provider (not just monetary-wise but also emotionally-wise) then I'd be happy to fulfill his sexual desires (and more) on frequent basis, several times a week - although not every-single night for the fear of turning sex into a chore. I could do it 3-4 times a week or even 5 times ...but 7/7 times ...would be over the top.

But I'm thinking of situations where you see each other most days or every day (married, GF lives close by, GF lives with me). My experience is that the ladies expected me to have their wants and needs as a priority. And that's fine by me; if you're my partner I feel it's very appropriate to expect me to place a high priority on your wants and needs and I address them accordingly. But at the same time, they expected me to not worry about my own needs.
Yeah, I can see the double standard here. I agree with you that the needs and priorities should be met equally for both partners and should be considered with the same value from both partners for each other.

Your innate sex drive simply might be lower than mine, which is why you abstaining from sex for weeks is not a big deal. But for me, not having any release for a few weeks (especially when younger) with your attractive partner nearby was distinctly unpleasant
Yeah, it could be that OP's sex drive could be different from yours and he's able to be sexless even for a few weeks.
In this case, if his older lady also has the same frequency then they'd be ideal for each other.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
178 Posts
Discussion Starter #113
Update: 10 days til I go visit her. It wasn't certain if she was going to be in town at first but I quietly made plans to visit and said "I'd be in town" even though it was really just for her haha. But today she started talking to me and she's making certain she gets to see me on that date. Plus she randomly went into my fb profile and left a heart on one of my pics. And she spoke with me at length about how great it has been becoming closer friends over the last couple months particularly after my letter to her. I feel like its nearly 95% certain now we're gonna be something together... well I'm very excited.

I keep asking my 8 ball fortune app if she's gonna kiss me when I see her and it keeps saying yes. haha why not sex? well tthat'd be kinda fast for me on the FIRST meeting of someone lol maybe 2nd or 3rd tho....hehe...

I just feel bad for my parents for if I end up telling them I'm seeing someone 17 years older than me. haha, I'm gonna try to make them guess I became gay first. I'm evil LOL. "You want me to be happy...right?" "oh god, son...are you gay? we totally accept you an dlove you you know that you can tell us" LOL
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
178 Posts
Discussion Starter #114
Wow...she (the older woman discussed in this thread) made her intentions explicit this evening. She is 100% serious about exploring a relationship with me. How cool is that? I'm excited now hehe.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
178 Posts
Discussion Starter #116
Visited her this weekend. Best time I've ever had with a woman in my life hands down. At the end of the date we talked for an additional hour or so before I actually left and were being very open and real about the newness of everything including our age difference but I kissed her. 3x. It was awesome. Didn't feel like kissing my mom or anything lmao. Cause my mom is in her 80s. She feels 100% like my equal and peer. And seemingly becoming an amazing friend and now very likely lover.

Probably most interesting weekend of my entire life so far. Can't wait to see her again. 😍🥰
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
13,187 Posts
My girlfriend is now 21 and I'm 35, 14 years apart. Currently we are now three years together, and I'm considering more... permanent arrangements. I'm dragging my heels due to already experience two divorces in my life; my parents, and with my ex-wife. But my girlfriend now well, it's nothing like any relationship I've ever been in before.

I know your thread is about a younger man and older woman, but there exists a universal truth when it comes to age gap relationships, regardless of the gender/ages involved:

Age just disappears.

It becomes a meaningless number. There are far more important aspects to a relationship, and if you guys have all the other pieces of the puzzle matching, you'll realise age itself was never part of the puzzle to begin with. Three years ago I asked a similar question on this forum to what you're asking now, and I'm glad I give it a shot. Good luck!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
178 Posts
Discussion Starter #118
My girlfriend is now 21 and I'm 35, 14 years apart. Currently we are now three years together, and I'm considering more... permanent arrangements. I'm dragging my heels due to already experience two divorces in my life; my parents, and with my ex-wife. But my girlfriend now well, it's nothing like any relationship I've ever been in before.

I know your thread is about a younger man and older woman, but there exists a universal truth when it comes to age gap relationships, regardless of the gender/ages involved:

Age just disappears.

It becomes a meaningless number. There are far more important aspects to a relationship, and if you guys have all the other pieces of the puzzle matching, you'll realise age itself was never part of the puzzle to begin with. Three years ago I asked a similar question on this forum to what you're asking now, and I'm glad I give it a shot. Good luck!
What a nice post, thanks!

Not only does it disappear, but in terms of just hard numbers, the age gap actually continuously becomes a smaller percentage of each of your ages as you get older.

I'm still feelin' pretty good about my situation. I visited her one more time in a non-date type of scenario prior to my flight home---which wasn't as romantic, but it still was nice and got another hug and kiss though she seemed slightly concerned her son would see, haha. She may be being a little cautious---which I totally respect. Like, not leaping into super serious things with me. That's good. I'm in no rush. Still seems like the warmth/temperature of things are quite high since then talking to her online.

Man... I almost had an opportunity to go spend time at a girl's party this evening, she's 24 which is 13 years younger than me haha. She's really cute but I don't know anything about her. However, I decided not to go. I don't like parties.

And then on top of that another woman who is about 16 years older than me has become a friend and now wants to get lunch sometime. Maybe i've found my niche. haha
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
13,187 Posts
What a nice post, thanks!

Not only does it disappear, but in terms of just hard numbers, the age gap actually continuously becomes a smaller percentage of each of your ages as you get older.

I'm still feelin' pretty good about my situation. I visited her one more time in a non-date type of scenario prior to my flight home---which wasn't as romantic, but it still was nice and got another hug and kiss though she seemed slightly concerned her son would see, haha. She may be being a little cautious---which I totally respect. Like, not leaping into super serious things with me. That's good. I'm in no rush. Still seems like the warmth/temperature of things are quite high since then talking to her online.

Man... I almost had an opportunity to go spend time at a girl's party this evening, she's 24 which is 13 years younger than me haha. She's really cute but I don't know anything about her. However, I decided not to go. I don't like parties.

And then on top of that another woman who is about 16 years older than me has become a friend and now wants to get lunch sometime. Maybe i've found my niche. haha
Yes exactly!

In my relationship all the pieces just fit, many times an age difference could prove to contribute incompatibility but it's not the age in question. For example; I was already past my partying age and my girlfriend was also having much different aspirations compared to many women her age, while someone may wish to party on all the way through life. Our hobbies, interests, simply aligned, our values, our beliefs, they breached all other barriers.

All these aspects, much more important than a meaningless number. To be honest I have to be reminded my girlfriend is actually younger than me, several times she's proven more mature :p
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,622 Posts
Not only does it disappear, but in terms of just hard numbers, the age gap actually continuously becomes a smaller percentage of each of your ages as you get older.
? An almost 20 year age gap isn't going to "disappear" or seem smaller as your age. When one is 60 and the other 80, you're going to notice it. Age gaps are fine, but don't pretend they become less noticeable as time goes on and that you won't notice it on the back end.
 
101 - 120 of 121 Posts
Top