Talk About Marriage banner

101 - 120 of 183 Posts

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
8,023 Posts
I have light brown hair and green eyes and I seem to be a black chic magnet.

There are a lot of red heads in my family though.

Maybe Gaelic genes are a draw?:grin2::wink2:
I used to teach in a high school with roughly half blacks and half whites, with a few others here and there.

One of my students was a tall, good looking Puerto Rican kid who'd been adopted by a black couple (birth parents were addicts that abandoned him). He was brown but not black....boy did the black girls love him. He had his pick and definitely loved them.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17,174 Posts
Discussion Starter #102
I'm sure you meant well with this post and I acknowledge this is likely a case of my overthinking, but I winced upon reading your 'rather than' scenario; that's a rough comparison. Yes, racism is real - even though race is a social construct.
Yup, she must be a racist, lol. God damn society today. You have to keep your mouth shut if you are white.
Don’t put words in our mouths. The post in question was worded oddly and made us unsure of the meaning of it. Neither heartsbeating nor I said anything about being racist. It was simply oddly worded.

White people don’t need to keep their mouths shut but you could take a step back before assuming any harm was meant. Heartsbeating and I both felt that post was odd but we did not assume any harm was meant. Neither should you.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
537 Posts
Don’t put words in our mouths. The post in question was worded oddly and made us unsure of the meaning of it. Neither heartsbeating nor I said anything about being racist. It was simply oddly worded.

White people don’t need to keep their mouths shut but you could take a step back before assuming any harm was meant. Heartsbeating and I both felt that post was odd but we did not assume any harm was meant. Neither should you.
That’s funny because heartsbeating went straight to “racism”. Re-read her post. Yes, being a white male in today’s society, I have to watch everything I say and everything I do.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,959 Posts
Don’t put words in our mouths. The post in question was worded oddly and made us unsure of the meaning of it. Neither heartsbeating nor I said anything about being racist. It was simply oddly worded.

White people don’t need to keep their mouths shut but you could take a step back before assuming any harm was meant. Heartsbeating and I both felt that post was odd but we did not assume any harm was meant. Neither should you.
Thank you, FW.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17,174 Posts
Discussion Starter #108
That’s funny because heartsbeating went straight to “racism”.
Easy, tiger.

I did not go straight to racism. However, maybe I needed to input a spaced line, to separate my thoughts in writing.
Yes there should have been a new paragraph for the sentence about racism being real.

I knew you were not referring to the author of the post but maybe others did not.

Apologies to @a_new_me for this being more than any of us meant it to be. I simply thought your wording was odd.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17,174 Posts
Discussion Starter #109
Don’t put words in our mouths. The post in question was worded oddly and made us unsure of the meaning of it. Neither heartsbeating nor I said anything about being racist. It was simply oddly worded.

White people don’t need to keep their mouths shut but you could take a step back before assuming any harm was meant. Heartsbeating and I both felt that post was odd but we did not assume any harm was meant. Neither should you.
That’s funny because heartsbeating went straight to “racism”. Re-read her post. Yes, being a white male in today’s society, I have to watch everything I say and everything I do.
Feel free to start a new thread to complain about the things white males have to put up with.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,959 Posts
Yes there should have been a new paragraph for the sentence about racism being real.

I knew you were not referring to the author of the post but maybe others did not.

Apologies to @a_new_me for this being more than any of us meant it to be. I simply thought your wording was odd.
Agreed - with all of the above, including to a_new_me.

And thank you FW, for 'reading' me as was intended.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
12,615 Posts
Yup, she must be a racist, lol. God damn society today. You have to keep your mouth shut if you are white.
Nope. She clearly said it was a rough example. She didn't call the poster a racist.

I once had a friend that gave a rough example in the other direction and asked me if I wanted my sister to get married to/have a boyfriend that was a greasy, dirty, scummy black man.

I answered that I didn't want a greasy, scummy, dirty anyone to have her regardless of color.

She ended up marrying a black man, ironic, and giving me two nice nephews.

I'm white, though my family has a mix when it comes to heritage, and I say what I want. I always have even in the face of opposition.

There is a lot of nonsense going on, usually to some degree throughout history, but you don't have to get so caught up in it.

The lovely Catwoman doesn't have the color of heart and mind that you have intimated.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,170 Posts
However.....one of my closest girlfriends from my army days is a southern black woman and according to her black women often do not approve of interracial dating and get upset when they see black men dating non black women, so I feel like if I were dating a black man I'd be thinking about that and feel bad. That's probably silly but I think it would taint things. Perhaps if there are any black women here they cam weigh in on this.
I am not a black woman but I can share some insight into this. This probably isn't going to make sense to you but I believe it to be true. Using my girlfriend as an example who is from the south and has quite a few black female friends and acquaintances. Like you her friends made it clear how they felt about black men and white women dating. Many don't like it, but they always make exceptions. My girlfriend was worried about how they would receive the news. To her surprise ALL of her black female friends with negative attitudes about inter-racial dating were like, "You go girl!". What she didn't realize is that these women saw how unhappy she was when she was married, and to them her being happy meant more to them than the color of my skin. I don't think people change their attitudes entirely, but they do make exceptions for those that are close to them when it comes to their prejudices.

With that said there are non-black friends that she didn't tell my race that did distance themselves after she posted a picture of us. No one too close to her though. One or two "mean girls" she hung with in high school, and a handful of male admirers/orbiters that all of a sudden stopped "liking" and commenting on everything she posted. She found this odd, because these were guys that didn't care about the white guys she dated when she first got divorced. Its like they felt she was tainted now.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,450 Posts
I read an interview of a black woman who said upstanding and respectable black men are in short supply (prisons, drugs etc) that when such a man goes against his race that leaves fewer potential mates for black women.

You're quite the catch so I can imagine your girlfriend will be getting quite a few dirty looks. lol
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
13,126 Posts
Are you in one?
No, based on 'popular' definitions of race anyway.

Have you ever been in one?
Yes.

Do you have any thoughts about them?
Many, though overall I find it much easier to have a LTR with someone of a similar background, and I recommend it really.
Casual relationships are meaningless as much as the races involved, but when things get abit more serious then no, I don't prefer them, for many reasons.

Even if the partners are wonderful human beings their extended family may not be and I'm quite done with adopting racist f-kwits as family and having to constantly deal with them.

Would you have objections (whether voiced or not) about your children being in one?
Yes, but ultimately I will respect her decision, would only warn her about the complications involved with them based on my experiences.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
12,615 Posts
However.....one of my closest girlfriends from my army days is a southern black woman and according to her black women often do not approve of interracial dating and get upset when they see black men dating non black women, so I feel like if I were dating a black man I'd be thinking about that and feel bad. That's probably silly but I think it would taint things. Perhaps if there are any black women here they cam weigh in on this.
One of the girls I dated, for a very short time obviously, made me drop her off a couple blocks from her neighborhood because she would have been physically assaulted by her friends and family if they saw her with me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
12,615 Posts
Because you are a white liberal you can.
Dude!

I'm actually one of the most conservative people you can find here.

Not the most but you wouldn't have to go very far to find the most conservative person on TAM.

I have had repercussions in real life, because anyone will who says what they believe, but I still say what I want.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,170 Posts
I read an interview of a black woman who said upstanding and respectable black men are in short supply (prisons, drugs etc) that when such a man goes against his race that leaves fewer potential mates for black women.

You're quite the catch so I can imagine your girlfriend will be getting quite a few dirty looks. lol
This isn't exactly something I wanted to say, but you're spot on. Within my community I am what checks off most boxes for black women, and there definitely is a feeling that I should consider color first when dating out of loyalty. I get comments all the time like, "I'm happy for you, but why couldn't you have found a black girl". Some even ignore the fact that I am dating and try to set me up with a "a nice black girl", totally ignoring the fact that I'm taken.

I do have one somewhat funny and kind of sad story to tell from my past. When I was in college I was a summer intern. Most of the execs took a liking to me so I hung out with them a lot. One of them really wanted to introduce me to his daughter. I thought that was kind of odd. Ironically she was indeed an attractive redhead. But at that time in my youth I didn't want to take a chance of screwing my career up if things didn't work out with his daughter and I. So I kept making excuses as to why I couldn't meet her.

But the guy kept pressing the issue, then one day he finally took me aside and showed me a picture of his daughter and her boyfriend. Admittedly the guy in pic did look like a negative sterotype, he also could never keep a job, and was driving his daughter's car as much or more than his daughter was. This was awkward for me, on one side I had to acknowledge a very real negative sterotype, but I didn't take it as a reflection on me, or all black men in general.

I did my best to explain to the guy that I couldn't "save" his daughter from her boyfriend, and that just because I'm black it doesn't mean that she was going to be attracted to me anyway, that she likely does care about this guy, and that he can't expect that trading one black guy for another would work anyway! In his mind he was going to fix his "problem", by finding her a better (his opinion) black guy.

He understood when I again declined to meet her, but I could tell he was disappointed. Definitely a weird experience for me. I did look her up on facebook a while back. She is married now and living in Arizona with a family and kids. Her husband appears to be latino. I am glad she is happy, and I am sure her dad is too. Because he really didn't like that other guy. I don't think he was racist, just a dad trying to get his daughter away from someone that was using her, and wasn't good for her to be around. He sure did have interesting logic.
 
101 - 120 of 183 Posts
Top