A person can break your heart only once. Betrayal changes many things. I believe in the possibility of reconciliation and in the prospect of a warm and rich life together after an affair. But a dream can be shattered only once. I believe the betrayed know this, whether they choose to work out a reconciliation and shared future or not. If they choose reconciliation and the really hard work that goes with it, they do so with eyes open and a growing understanding about choice. With a very new understanding that commitment is choice, not trust, dependence, or reliance. That they will be OK. That they have already been through hell. Seen and weathered the worst. With apologies to Richard Farina, when you have been down so long, it all looks like up. And in fact it is.