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His wife could say the same. He disregarded her needs and then he wanted his needs fulfilled.
The issue I take with this is the fact that she dressed up and did her hair, etc. If it were me and my wife did that, then I would act on the non verbal cue. If I didn't act on my wife looking nice for me, then I can guarantee you she would be inquiring as to why I didn't notice her.

I observe his eventual frustration as "she clearly missed me, got dolled up for me, I act on it and now she's throwing a couple mood killers at me." These are all communication issues that need to be addressed. Both people need to work on this, not just one. I also think it's such a bad idea to go down the rabbit hole of "his work is a party while I'm stuck at home with the kids". If you keep going down that path you will kill your marriage.
 

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The husbands sounds like a little child that stomps his feet when he doesn't get what he wants. Are you saying that his needs (d!ck) are more important than hers (talking about the children)? He sounds like a caveman to me. In a good marriage you balance both partners' needs. His behaviour is totally immature.
LoL! This caveman has a good marriage so maybe you could be mistaken?
 

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I'm not with my wife any more, because I rejected the sexless marriage. And I don't find dragging personal circumstances into a discussion to prove your point particularly cool.
This is a really fine line to walk because you are right but would you take advice on how to fight from a fighter who kept getting knocked out in the first round?
 

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Here's the thing. A passionate marriage in which the partners place a value in keeping the sexual fires burning and the intimate attraction and attention a priority is far more likely to last, thus keeping a happy intact base for the children, ultimately.

I promise you, the children will come to no harm if the parents connect sexually together first after being apart for days,
and THEN discuss 4 year old Johnny or Jane's homeschooling curriculum. I promise.

Fingers crossed that my next partner be on fire for me after days apart and wants to connect intimately, before discussing mundane daily life issues.
 

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I was a SAHM for a few years and I felt I was working 24-7. I don't remember how my communication was with my husband at that time, but I remember being too tired to have sex. I wish I could go back in time and slap myself a few times!!!

Looking back I realized, I prioritized my kids. I put my husband in second place without even realizing it. Kids grow up fast and if we don't make time to have a marriage, when the kids leave we won't have a marriage.

Homeschooling is a bad idea if you are going to be too busy or too tired for sex or to meet yours and your husband's needs. Plus you need time with other adults.

I understand you wanted your needs met and your husband's reaction seemed unsupportive and selfish, but I think sex might be how he connects with you and his way of telling you he missed you. Both of you dismissed each other's needs. Sex might be exactly what you need! All those feel good hormones to give you peace and happiness.
 

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This is a really fine line to walk because you are right but would you take advice on how to fight from a fighter who kept getting knocked out in the first round?
Fair enough. People can ignore me if they think my advice has no value. I tend not to refer to fellow posters’ personal circumstances. They can still offer good advice. I’m not bothered about that.
 

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The issue I take with this is the fact that she dressed up and did her hair, etc. If it were me and my wife did that, then I would act on the non verbal cue. If I didn't act on my wife looking nice for me, then I can guarantee you she would be inquiring as to why I didn't notice her.

I observe his eventual frustration as "she clearly missed me, got dolled up for me, I act on it and now she's throwing a couple mood killers at me." These are all communication issues that need to be addressed. Both people need to work on this, not just one. I also think it's such a bad idea to go down the rabbit hole of "his work is a party while I'm stuck at home with the kids". If you keep going down that path you will kill your marriage.
Yes, they need to balance their needs.
 

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Here's the thing. A passionate marriage in which the partners place a value in keeping the sexual fires burning and the intimate attraction and attention a priority is far more likely to last, thus keeping a happy intact base for the children, ultimately.

I promise you, the children will come to no harm if the parents connect sexually together first after being apart for days,
and THEN discuss 4 year old Johnny or Jane's homeschooling curriculum. I promise.

Fingers crossed that my next partner be on fire for me after days apart and wants to connect intimately,
before discussing mundane daily life issues.
The kids were still up. How do you connect sexually? There was plenty of time before bedtime to talk about the kids and family issues. The husband was only interested in one thing. Read the original post. His timing was completely wrong and if he doesn’t understand this, the marriage is doomed.
 

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Fair enough. People can ignore me if they think my advice has no value. I tend not to refer to fellow posters’ personal circumstances. They can still offer good advice. I’m not bothered about that.
I agree with you BTW but it is disconcerting sometimes.

I will also take this opportunity to apologize to you for doing that very thing to you.

It was beneath me and I'm sorry.
 

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I agree with you BTW but it is disconcerting sometimes.

I will also take this opportunity to apologize to you for doing that very thing to you.

It was beneath me and I'm sorry.
I get it, but I believe you should judge people’s opinions on value, not on past history. It’s a very restrictive approach, IMO.
 

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I get it, but I believe you should judge people’s opinions on value, not on past history. It’s a very restrictive approach, IMO.
I'm results oriented. A guy giving me information about how to bench three hundred pounds when he can't bench 100 is going to get extra scrutiny especially when I, who can bench that much, disagree.

Regardless, I agree about personal stuff and need to address a post on it's own merit.
 

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The kids were still up. How do you connect sexually? There was plenty of time before bedtime to talk about the kids and family issues. The husband was only interested in one thing. Read the original post. His timing was completely wrong and if he doesn’t understand this, the marriage is doomed.
No, they weren't. Read the first post.

The kids were finally in bed and she wanted to talk about homeschool preschool lessons for a 4 year old and he wanted to have sex with his wife after being away.
 

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So the answer to your question is NO, I would not be annoyed if I tried to talk to my partner about something I wanted to tell him, and he wasn't listening because he thought I was so sexy and desirable and couldn't keep his hands off of me. In fact, that's the excitement that I WANT to inspire in him (especially if I dressed up for him beforehand), so I wouldn't push him away when he was showing his feelings for me that way.

I have always been honored to have the sexual desire of my partner....he could give that to any number of other women, so when he would consistently choose ME to be the one to share his sexual excitement and interest with, I felt excited and special, ESPECIALLY when I was stressed from little kids all day!!! I needed sex with my husband more then, because I wanted to feel like a sexual woman again, and I was so grateful that he saw me as a sexy woman and not a mommy!
My wife feels the same, she has often told me she finds it exciting that I desire her sexually as much as I do.

She wants to be desired sexually as a woman, to the point I want her as much as I do. She feels special for it, and enjoys that her sex is what I want as much as I do.

While she feels that my desire to have/take her lustfully, to the exclusion of other things makes her feel more as a woman.

When she had cancer, that I still desired her so much as a sexual being made her feel better about herself. Through all of our other challenges and raising our kids that I still wanted her sex, made her feel more than just a service to our kids.
 
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